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至今为主写过最纠结的一篇作文。。。23号考试,求好心人批评指正!!

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楼主
发表于 2011-4-10 19:13:34 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
如题,这篇作文我从开始构思到写完足足花了1小时20分钟,中途纠结无比。。。写成这样实属完成任务,希望有人能提供一些建议或者意见,最好能提出自己的论点,因为楼主在写的过程中可怜地就想到一个reason...

20091204日北美
Do you think people should buy things made in their own country; even the price is higher than same things made somewhere else?

As modern society develops, globalization makes it possible for people to purchase various things made in places both in and out home. Sometimes, the goods made in their own country turn out to be more expensive than those made somewhere else. This is where the controversy arises. Some people believe that people should buy things made in their own country even the price is higher. From my perspective, this assertion commits a mistake of over generalization. I believe that people don’t have to buy something even if it is more expensive simply because it is made in their own country. My view can be greatly substantiated by the following discussions.

First and foremost reason is that the quality of goods that I buy is not necessarily better than those cheaper ones. One may wonder that how could the products of lower quality have a higher price such as products made in their own countries? One alternative answer is because of local government’s protection. Government would definitely protect domestic manufacturing industries by helping them sustain a high price level, thus making higher profit. Under such circumstance, those domestic manufacturers could also price higher than others without consistent higher quality, which is not fair and favorable in the shoes of consumers. We pay different prices for different qualities. There is no doubt that high prices should be consistent with its quality. If a product is more expensive but of the same quality with another, I can hardly imagine there are people who choose it simple because it is made in his own country. Another possible reason is that the original materials may be cheaper in other countries, which results in the comparative low prices. Life abounds with such examples. Rice is very prolific and famous for its high quality in Thailand, thus its price is much cheaper than that in China. Given this situation, I believe that almost every rational person would choose Thailand rice over Chinese rice because the former is obviously more competitive. With these two possible explanations, my conclusion can be easily made that there is no rationale for people to buy things made in their own countries even the price is higher when the quality is not necessarily better than same things made somewhere else.

Another reason that can be presented to support my view is that we can buy things which we are fond of without any limit. In most cases, people buy a certain thing out of their own preferences which vary from person to person, thus there should be no limit on their preferences. To illustrate, a case in point in this respect is that if a person prefers Swedish chocolate, he or she definitely has the right to buy it rather than buy a Chinese-made chocolate instead. He or she doesn’t have to violate his own will to buy things that he actually isn’t very fond of. Anything that fits people’s favors should be open to purchase regardless of its original places.

Admittedly, there is no denying that buying things made in their own country would show a support to their country’s manufacturing industries. By doing this, the sales volume could substantially enhanced, which will in turn benefit their manufacturer. However, as a consumer myself, supporting domestic manufacturing industries is more concerned with government and policy-makers. They can help those manufacturers by offering more subsidies or some tariff deductions, by doing which they would not only achieve the goal of supporting domestic manufacturers, but also benefit consumers in the country.

From what have been discussed above, it can be directly concluded that people don’t have to buy something even if it is more expensive simply because it is made in their own country. In this way, we can pay reasonable money according to goods’ quality, therefore enlarging our consumer surplus. In the meantime, our choices have been considerable expanded, which in all fronts is beneficial to most people.  (654 words)

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沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2011-4-12 00:31:04 | 只看该作者
自己顶一下!!
板凳
发表于 2011-5-20 16:38:58 | 只看该作者
第一段,结论句放在前面更显眼,可以把世界越来越小等等放在后面,然后再次强调观点;
第二段,第一句含糊不清,有跑题的迹象,人家标题是goods made in domestic and oversea, 你直接讨论价格差;第二句是陈述,不是疑问句,后面还有一些词语用错了。
地板
发表于 2011-5-20 16:40:26 | 只看该作者
整体来看,论据不充分,查字典比较多,有语法错误。建议你还是从写简单句子开始,慢慢组建文章,不要急于写长句子和花哨的短语。
5#
发表于 2011-5-20 16:46:41 | 只看该作者
另外,提供几个论据给你参考:
1,实惠的商品才能保证我们的生活质量,盲目拥护国货不可取;
2,从1的角度出发,选择更实惠的,鼓励国内产品参与市场竞争,长远来看是好事;
3,不应把爱国主义和拥护国货混为一谈,应勇敢选择自己的意愿。

我是结合你的作文写的,你可以再想想~~
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