[求助]请问独立写作中用长句子有必要么？

向下面中的第二句：

Admittedly, a job with low salary and
shorter hours would permit me to communication with my family and friends more.
Wonderful though the advantages that lower-paying and short-working job enjoys
are, they can not compete with the benefits that high-paying and long-working
job brings about, if the importance of economic demands and the desire of social
identities for a youngster being about to entering the society or being on his
initial phase of career are taken into account.

新东方戴云老师的网络课堂说用长句子。 而我同学说没有必要，反而不好。

很是疑惑啊？

哪位高人帮帮忙！