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第一篇ibt写作,求dirk及大牛狠拍砖!!

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楼主
发表于 2007-7-30 18:00:00 | 只看该作者

第一篇ibt写作,求dirk及大牛狠拍砖!!

写的时候总是磕磕绊绊的,很不流畅,感觉还是掌握写作时的词汇太少了,句式也很没什么复杂的,anyway,请各位狠拍吧~~谢谢谢~~~~

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The best way to travel is  in a group led by a tour guide.

   Those who are fortunate enough to travel, especially can go aboard, will face the decision of traveling in a group with a tour guide or traveling by themselves. Both of them have their strong points in regard to a journey. As far as I concerned, although traveling in a group seems more convenient than traveling by oneself in some aspects, the latter’s benefits are much outweigh the former’s.

 

If one could in the fortunate position where he/she decide all matters in the tour, he/she would never has to worry something that may distasteful, such as the time that has to get up or the day has to leave. The primary purpose of traveling is to relax, and only the schedule being totally controlled by ourselves can we enjoy the journey maximum.

 

In addition, compared with traveling in a group, traveling by ourselves gives us more chance to explore the place and encounter its people. .Instead of just taking some photographs at the place where I obsession with, I can acquire much more information about this place, as not being driven by the tour guide to next spot.

 

Further more, led by a tour guide has some drawbacks such as one could be misled to buy something exorbitant even he/she does need it at all. For instance, last year, my brother paid almost 2000 Yuan for a jade, which actually only worth about half of the price, during the tour at Yunnan. The idea that one must buy some souvenirs during a journey is a lie told to us by some irresponsible guides.

 

In conclusion, when viewed from these perspectives mentioned-above, it becomes clear that all one have to do in a journey is feast the delighted time and share them with one’s company. There is no loss of pleasant even if we do not in a group or do not have a tour guide.   

沙发
发表于 2007-7-30 19:26:00 | 只看该作者

我希望你可以有1到2个点可以well develop

所谓的well developed

就是,比如:

你支持A,你用X这个理由来支持A

很多人写完X这个理由,就觉得这个点结束了,其实这是不对的。

你还需要写A如何产生X这个优势,而且还应该写X这个优势如何服务我们(这里就可以举例了)

如:电视和报纸哪个好

我支持电视好。因为电视有速率(很多人就只把这里理由陈述出来,然后就结束了)

我还应该说:电视如何快-通过卫星可以进行直播,电视台的记者遍布全球,最新的消息可以以最快的速度被公布。而报纸不能,因为报纸每天只有一版,消息更新得慢。所以,电视更快。然后接例子:比如,篮球比赛结果。如果看报纸,我们永远只能活在昨天,但是如果看电视,不仅可以很快知道结果,而且还可以看到画面,体验到比赛的刺激。结论:电视是多么好呀!

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-30 19:59:00 | 只看该作者

非常感谢~~以后会注意这点的

希望如果以后有时间的话能具体帮我改下阿 呵呵

ps:你是不是也dn41的球迷?以前我也用德克作网名号长时间~~

地板
发表于 2007-7-30 20:11:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用era41在2007-7-30 19:59:00的发言:

非常感谢~~以后会注意这点的

希望如果以后有时间的话能具体帮我改下阿 呵呵

ps:你是不是也dn41的球迷?以前我也用德克作网名号长时间~~

当然

从我的名字和头像你应该可以看出

5#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-30 20:23:00 | 只看该作者

那头像不仔细看还真看不出来是牛。。。

不过自从小牛没了分立和那什球打的没以前那么好看了,没以前那种输了30分还能追回来的激情了 cuban也没以前可爱了

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