一篇作文，請高手評目

這是小弟的作文，但需要高手的評目。

因為我發現作文是需要別人不斷的挑錯才能進步，在這邊請求英文高手替小弟評文。

謝謝。

According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, “motto” refers to a short expression of a guiding principle. Take Abraham Lincoln for instance, his motto “of the people, by the people, for the people” symbolizes the spirit of liberty, freedom and independence for many people in the United States nowadays. For my part, honestly speaking, never had I come up with the idea of living by a motto before encountering an unexpected event that helped me understand the fact of how significant it could be to oneself.    

     During the days without a guiding principle, a carefree man I was to almost everything. When I encountered problems, obstacles, disappointments, troubles, difficulties, and misfortune, the fastest and quickest way to have them straightened out was to make excuses. Stress made me terribly annoyed and disturbed, and tension squeezed the energy out of me. Consequently, my manner got into unanticipated trouble—I got fired.

I was shocked when my manager privately and officially informed me of the news of my disemployment via email. Unable to accept it, I wrote back to him furiously. In return, he explained to me patiently in detail why he had made the decision. Right at that moment, it was the first time someone pointed out what I had done wrong in work—I had too many excuses, More importantly, it was the first time I objectively reexamined what I had done wrong.

     Since then, “no excuse”, as he sincerely advised in the letter, has been my criterion. Yet, I wouldn’t say there is a radical transformation or a sudden changing upon myself at any rate. I do consider the implication of the suggestion and try to avoid committing a mistake like that whenever there is a problem in any way.

     To sum up, what I am trying to do now, in short, is to follow the principle of having “no excuse.”

····写得很好，符合TOEFL和SAT的双重要求，只有些小错···不影响

···我觉得这个TOEFL得5分的可能很大·····雅思也应该可以在7.5···

··不过··似乎你应该再阐释一下no excuse的深意和会于你的实际的重要性·····

··当然，ETS是很喜欢看到personal而且有details的文章的，这篇文章很符合他们的胃口···

·Wester词典对motto的解释的确是像楼主说的那样，但是楼主是背下来的还是查的词典呢？

well, I am wondering that``````这篇文章是不是被修改过？