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请zdlukeluck老师帮忙评价修改,多谢多谢~

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楼主
发表于 2007-5-29 11:22:00 | 只看该作者

请zdlukeluck老师帮忙评价修改,多谢多谢~

这篇是我在晚上十一点十分到十一点四十写完的,写完就马上贴上来了,感觉理由找的不是很充分,希望大家多多提意见,顺便说下,这是三月21的机警!先谢谢各位了


Is it better to watch serious movies that make you think,or watch movies that's designed primarily to amuse and entertain you


Movies have been one of the indispensable part of  human life since the day when it came into being.With its artistic depiction of the human world which makes our life more enriching,we can gain a variety of new perspectives as well as entertain ourselves.However,when it comes to the genre of the movies,people usually argue which type of movie they should spend more time on.Are we supposed to watch movies which trigger us to ponder over them or is it more beneficial to simply extract joy from those entertainment-oriented movies?As for this dilemma,my personal opinion is more biased toward the first option based on my understanding of the movies.

Firstly,I think the movies themselves are designed to mainly reflect the human society in more of an artistic way in the first place.Therefore by watching the movies we should always be motivated to compare them with the real world itself.Good movies are usually reflective and instructive, even though it may seem to be boring sometimes.Nevertheless,only through these tedious procedures can we gain the maximal comprehension of the topic of the specific movies,which is exactly what the movie directors are trying to convey to the audiences. Upon reaching this purpose,we can live up to the expecations of the movie makers to the full.


In addition,serious movies with human-touch subjects are always very inspirational and sometimes can even touch the deepest part of our inner mindset.In this sense,it's really worthwhile to watch the plots in the movies which we may empathize with.And usually these plots are always part of the serious movies,which can be one of the most attractive part of them.And more than often this resonance will lead us to thinking deeper about both the movies and our lives.And from my standpoint,it's a very precious exeprience to go through all the process.

What's more,even though we can watch entertaining movies sometimes,but that shouldn't be the only reason for us to go to cinema.It's certain that by watching relaxing and humorous movies we can both free our mind and relax ourselves, but what really matters is that how much we can gain by doing that.As for students like me,spending too much time laughing over those commedies is just a pure waste of time because the opportunity cost is way beyond it. On the contrary immersing ourselves in the serious movies can really engender a lot of benefits for ourselves.

Therefore,based on the several reasons,serious movies should definitely be on our favorite item simply because it's more reflective and it has more resonnance with us,in the meantime,it can promote our studies and life for a better direction.
沙发
发表于 2007-5-29 11:40:00 | 只看该作者

大汗···

我已经没有用zdlukeluck那个ID了··

··

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2007-5-29 11:44:00 | 只看该作者
那能不能帮我改改啊,谢谢啦,给我点评论和意见吧,这样的作文到考试时大概能几分啊
地板
发表于 2007-5-29 11:46:00 | 只看该作者

``今天已经帮你改过一篇了`````

``随便把我给别人改的看看吧```说不定会有启发

``其实你已经写得很好了```

5#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-5-29 11:53:00 | 只看该作者

帮我改过一篇?哦,你是说那篇粘贴在别人帖子下面的那篇写教师工资的吧?你在那里面提到用高级过渡语句,能具体给我些范例吗,谢谢.

另外不知道我还需不需要背模板,我是觉得对我来说可能作用不大,你的建议呢

6#
发表于 2007-5-29 11:56:00 | 只看该作者

以你的水平,模版的确没有多大用处

模版是给那些要迅速提高分数的人用的,你的写作我觉得不用模版了

我所说的是:避免使用firstly, at first这样的东西

在修改里边我已经在每段的开头写出了用什么替换

7#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-5-29 12:05:00 | 只看该作者

比如象first and foremost,Nonetheless这种之类的吗?斗胆问一下,我作文拿5分有希望吗?如果能写成这样

另外综合写作是不是背背模板就行了,不需要怎么练吧,只要听到的都能写下来的话?

8#
发表于 2007-5-29 12:09:00 | 只看该作者

first and foremost, firstly, secondly, finally这样的用法太常见了(但是在综合写作部分是可以用的,因为综合写作只要求准确,不要求语言),所以写作时应该避免

你以前写的那个是有可能拿5分的,即便拿不到5,也是4分的高档

9#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-5-29 12:17:00 | 只看该作者

多谢

你是不是教托福作文的啊,对这些研究得好透啊

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