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From my ponit of view, you have to correct your grammaratical errors such as comma and verbs using.Besides, try to use simple sentences to express your ideas, long sentences are not always good.
wish you can do your best to train your TWE. 以下是引用CedricLi在2007-1-19 0:13:00的发言：
High Education Attraction Nowadays,it is prevail that more and more adolescence are able to study in universities[y] or colleges.I would like to associate the reason of this fact with the potential job' opportunities which[or that] a college or university student may have. First of all,the competition among[between] people is so crucial that many good companies reject [to] the recruit who has no [the one without] a college diploma,bachelor degree.If we enter the website of a head-hunter company,we can see a lot of requirements like this‘That [Y]you should have a bachelor degree and MBA is perfectably.[you can't use two verbs in one sentence without any conjection.] So the objective environment forces a go-ahead teenager be willing to attend[join] a good university to gain some professional knowledge and skills.
[not bad point] The second strength of university is the flexible time table.On one hand,a student does not need to sit in the class room all day long.[,]It is possible that students attend [attending] a lot of courses of some subjects that they don't interested in [he doesn’t interested in] [you also can't use tow subjects in one sentence without any conjection.][Maybe]If you were[are] a university's student, you will be free for a whole afternoon and [you] can decide what you want to learn afterwards. it is easy to fix some time to join a workshop,a seminar,a club or some sorts of training course.
[ordinary statement] In addition,the plenty-free time provide a student some good chances to do some internship job.As known to all,many top-tier consulting firms[I don't konw what are you talking about] are strict on their recruitments.But they open a lot of part-time positions to suitable for college or university students.Usually,the company asks the students on field-day to follow a team three days per week at least.[This]It is obvious[ly] that a good opportunity for the one[,] who is willing to join this kind of firm,to prove he is capable of handling the task.
[the last sentence is very awkward.] Above all,the possibility of getting a satisfied job is the domestic reason for such a large number of people trying to attend.
[need to enlarge your conclusion]
[此贴子已经被作者于2007-1-20 20:51:39编辑过] | 
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发表于 2007-1-19 00:13:00
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