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AI015习作,请指教~

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楼主
发表于 2006-11-16 00:11:00 | 只看该作者

AI015习作,请指教~

15. “Nations should cooperate to develop regulations that limit children’s access to adult material on the Internet.

Should nations cooperate to develop regulations that limit children’s access to adult material on the Internet? To some degree, I agree with the author’s general assertion. However, the author unnecessarily extends this broad assertion to an irreversible extreme while overlooks certain crucial factors affect this issue. As a matter of fact, the issue of whether the nations should cooperate is a complex and controversial one. Therefore there is a universal answer and whether one choice takes precedence over the other depends on specific situation. Actually the final judgment should rely on a case-by-case analysis. After a deliberate thinking, I agree that nations should cooperate to develop regulations that limit children’s access to adult material on the Internet. My view can be greatly substantiated by the following analysis.

In the first place, the main reason that can be presented to develop to my position is that the problem of children mature too early is draw many parents’ attention all over the world. The pornographic material can be got by the children through the Internet much easier than before. Some children have a curious with those materials, because they are in the age when they have question to everything. However, if the children contact with the adult material too early without the correct guidance is very harmful for their growing. Under this circumstance, it is obvious that every nation have responsibility to keep the adult material from the young children.

In addtion, another equally important aspect is that the Internet is a global phenomenon, and the information on the Internet is public for everyone. So, it is impossible that any individual nation can regulation it .Only if the nations cooperate can solve this problem. The pornographic "contamination" is like the environment pollution required the all nations’ cooperation, otherwise all will ultimately suffer. The children like the sun in the morning; we must make sure that they grow up in a health conditon. That is why I think the cooperation is necessary.

On the other hand, realizing that a more rational and accurate judgment need to incorporate different aspect of the issue as adequately as possible, I have to point out that the author fail to take into account other essential factors. Firstly, the author falsely assume that all nations will to regulation the Internet, and overlook that perhaps some nations does not want to limit it according to  their political or economic interests. Secondly , more and more family have the ability to control this problem with some software designing to help the parents limit their children to access the adult material. If each nation utilizes those methods, this problem will be alleviated without the cooperation of the nations.

In sum, seldom can other issue be more complicated than the issue. Consequently, judgment can only be draw in a subjective way rather than in objective and definite way. And so different are the personal experience, emotional concern and personalities among people that thousand individuals might maintain thousand opinions. As to me, nations should cooperate to develop regulations that limit children’s access to adult material on the Internet.

这是我写的第二篇AI,写得不是很好,套用了模版,但是模版的运用还是不熟练,觉得有些地方说不通。这篇文章写了40分钟,超时了,模版没有背熟,是照着打的,可能这也是慢的原因。不知道把模板融会贯通了以后会不会加快速度?

但是感觉这篇文章的论点还是找对了的吧

还有15天考试,准备AA和AI再各写3-4篇,时间已经很紧了。

这篇文章还希望进来的同志看看,帮忙指正一下……

谢谢啦




沙发
发表于 2006-11-16 05:23:00 | 只看该作者

天哪,我要是能短时间内写出这样的文章,我就不复习作文了。

lz是不是决心拿5.5以上阿?

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2006-11-16 09:18:00 | 只看该作者

其实我觉得我写得不是很好整篇文章挺空泛的感觉,没有例子,因为我真的想不出来高水平一点的例子……所以就扯蛋。

不过还是很谢谢小静的鼓励哈~

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