[求助]TWE050請大家評評分，修改一下吧~~

Some people prefer to do what they already do well and others prefer to try new things and take risks. This is one of the most debated questions in that it will affect a person's life. As far as I am concerned, I would like to try new things and take risks .The arguments for my viewpoint are listed as follows.

The first reason for my propensity to make this choice is that trying new things or taking risks is the key to get promotion in a company. If you always do the same thing in the company, your boss will thing that you don't want to improve your working abilities. Therefore , if one want to be successful in his or her future career , it is necessary for him or her to take more calculated risks as possible as he or she can .For example , when I graduated from university , I got a chance to work in an insurance company .My first position was to be an underwriter . After working about 2 years, my boss asked me if I want to take charge in claim adjuster .It was a big challenge for me, but I get my first promotion for taking this new job.   

The second reason which is known by everybody lies in the fact that taking calculated risks can let you be the rich. Based on the basic investment theory, what you earn has a direct relation to how many risks you take. Therefore, if you want to be the rich faster, you should not deposit your money in the bank .You has to invest your money in the stock market. However, before you invest your money in the high risk market, you have to evaluate how many risks you can tolerate.

The third reason which is still obvious is that you can learn more when try new things and taking risks .In a modern society, you have to keep learning in order to be a competitive one . If you always stick to the things you already do well, you will not make progress. When time past, you will be a loser and everyone will look down on you. Therefore, if you want be respected by other people, you can't satisfy what you already know.

Based on these three reasons presented above , I think that trying new things and taking risks are the keys to be successful and rich in this society and thus you will be respected by everyone .  

Peronaly I think it is a well-writen article except:

1. The last para, the conclusion part is not very strong.

2. I do not recommend to use "YOU AND I " in the argument. Use third party.