slave918的作文贴

slave918 · 发表于 2014-7-15 21:09:14

7.15独立
Agree or disagree:

Teacherswere more appreciated and valued by the society in the past than today.

"Knowledge is power". In asociety, teachers are the origin of knowledge for most of the people. However,as the changing of our society, the significance of teachers is changing too.In the past, teachers may be the only origin of knowledge to most of the peopleand teachers may be very honorable and powerful.

First and foremost, in modern society, bylearning from internet or other resources, individuals can also learn muchknowledge. That means teachers are not the only resources that people can relyon, thus teachers would be less valued in nowadays. Since the development ofinternet, people can find what they want to learn on the internet. If i want tolearn Economics, i can find countless e-books, many speeches by famouseconomists like mankiw, and many methods or recommendations from others. Forinstance, if i want to learn what “sunk cost” is, i would google it on theinternet. Then I would see many pages about sunk cost. Maybe the best answer isfrom Wiki. First i can learn what it is. Second, many case study would show mehow can we apply this knowledge into real world. That would be a wonderfuljourney because teachers have to control the pace of study to guarantee thatall the students in the class can understand. However, when i was learning onthe internet, i can concentrate on what i am confused and skip what i amalready know.

Furthermore, in the past, teacher istreated as an honorable profession because teachers have more knowledge thanmost of the individuals and intelligent people are less in the past compared tomodern society. In the past, education is not well-developed as it is now.Ordinary people would not have the chance to invite a teacher to inform theirchildren. Their children would be mason, peasant as their families do. Familieswhich are rich or noble can afford a teacher. The children from these familieswould be powerful and rich some day and they are much influenced by theirteachers and they would value their teachers' advices as gold. Sometimes theadvices from a teacher, especially from the king's teacher, can affect thefunction of society. That means the power of teacher can reached to the worldthrough their powerful or rich students.

Of course, teachers' status in modernsociety is great. Every individual would know that knowledge is power andmental works is far more valued than physical works. The pay of Steven Jobswould be more than the pay of a waiter or waitress since we all know that whichjob is more intricate. Besides, the union labor would protect the interests ofteachers. Once their incomes are not appropriate, they have the right tostrike.

However, these factors cannot make theteachers more precious in modern society than in the past. The unique power andinfluence that teachers have in the past made them valuable and the abundantway to learn in modern society make teachers not necessary.

jiajy930809 · 发表于 2014-7-16 12:53:05

修改稿—— 贾贾

"Knowledge is power". In asociety, teachers are the origin of knowledge for most of the people. However,as the changing of our society, the significance of teachers is changing too.In the past, teachers may be the only origin of knowledge to most of the peopleand teachers may be very honorable and powerful.

1. 第一段还是写明自己的观点吧
2. 红色字体，这句话的表达我觉得可以更好一些，比如： the changes to the society lead to those to significance of teachers.

First and foremost, in modern society, by learning from internet or other resources, individuals can also learn much knowledge. That means teachers are not the only resources that people can rely on, thus teachers would be less valued in nowadays. Since the development of internet, people can find what they want to learn on the internet. If i want to learn Economics, i can find countless e-books, many speeches by famous economists like mankiw, and many methods or recommendations from others. For instance, if i want to learn what “sunk cost” is, i would google it on the internet. Then I would see many pages about sunk cost. Maybe the best answer isfrom Wiki. First i can learn what it is. Second, many case study would show me how can we apply this knowledge into real world. That would be a wonderful journey because teachers have to control the pace of study to guarantee thatall the students in the class can understand. However, when i was learning onthe internet, i can concentrate on what i am confused and skip what i amalready know.

1. argument充足且合理
2. 红色部分，两个前置的状语从句并列写，不是很好的表达，可以改成： in modern society, individuals can also learn much knowledge by learning from internet or other resources.

3. 蓝色部分，for intstance应该写在第一句的前面吧。

Furthermore, in the past, teacher is treated as an honorable profession because teachers have more knowledge thanmost of the individuals and intelligent people are less in the past compared tomodern society. In the past, education is not well-developed as it is now.Ordinary people would not have the chance to invite a teacher to inform theirchildren. Their children would be mason, peasant as their families do. Familieswhich are rich or noble can afford a teacher. The children from these familieswould be powerful and rich some day and they are much influenced by theirteachers and they would value their teachers' advices as gold. Sometimes theadvices from a teacher, especially from the king's teacher, can affect thefunction of society. That means the power of teacher can reached to the worldthrough their powerful or rich students.

1. 红色这句话感觉可以删除
2. 卤煮这段是想表达，过去的老师懂得很多所以受人尊重么？但是最后king‘s teacher的例子感觉又是因为精英效应.... 个人觉得这段可以写一下跟现在的对比更能阐述观点吧。

Of course, teachers' status in modernsociety is great. Every individual would know that knowledge is power and mental works is far more valued than physical works. The pay of Steven Jobswould be more than the pay of a waiter or waitress since we all know that whichjob is more intricate. Besides, the union labor would protect the interests ofteachers. Once their incomes are not appropriate, they have the right tostrike.

1. great这个词语使用不当，教师的地位是好的？
2. 蓝色部分是不是主谓不一致？
3. 绿色部分的这个例子，我觉得可以再多论述几句为什么这个例子可以证明，老师现在还是受青睐的。感觉这个例子有些模棱两可。
4. 紫色部分关于老师薪水的问题，如果把上面Jobs 的例子讲清楚了就可以不写它，感觉这个薪水的阐释反而让文章这里有点偏题了。

However, these factors cannot make theteachers more precious in modern society than in the past. The unique power andinfluence that teachers have in the past made them valuable and the abundantway to learn in modern society make teachers not necessary.

结尾好！

不知道为啥很多单词中间都没有空格，可能是卤煮手误吧，多多注意这方面哦!

slave918 · 发表于 2014-7-16 15:35:15

jiajy930809 发表于 2014-7-16 12:53
修改稿—— 贾贾

"Knowledge is power". In asociety, teachers are the origin of knowledge for most of ...

指出的问题都很对
学习了，谢谢。
关于单词没有空格，非常抱歉啊，我从word直接粘贴过来，完全没注意呢。
以后一定不会出现这样的问题。

slave918 · 发表于 2014-7-16 23:21:07

修改后：

"Knowledgeis power". In a society, teachers are the origin of knowledge for most ofthe people. However, the changes of society lead to the changes of teacher’sstatus. In the past, teachers may be the only origin of knowledge to most ofthe people and teachers may be very honorable and powerful.

First andforemost, , by learning from internet or other resources, individuals can alsolearn much knowledge in modern society. That means teachers are not the only resourcesthat people can rely on, thus teachers would be less valued in nowadays. Sincethe development of internet, people can find what they want to learn on theinternet. For instance If i want to learn Economics, i can find countlesse-books, many speeches by famous economists like mankiw, and many methods orrecommendations from others. if i want to learn what “sunk cost” is, i wouldgoogle it on the internet. Then I would see many pages about sunk cost. Maybethe best answer is from Wiki. First i can learn what it is. Second, many casestudy would show me how can we apply this knowledge into real world. That wouldbe a wonderful journey because teachers have to control the pace of study to guaranteethat all the students in the class can understand. However, when i was learningon the internet, i can concentrate on what i am confused and skip what i amalready know.

Furthermore,in the past, teachers have more power and influence than today. In the past,education is not well-developed as it is now. Ordinary people would not havethe chance to invite a teacher to inform their children. Their children wouldbe mason, peasant as their families do. Families which are rich or noble canafford a teacher. The children from these families would be powerful and richsome day and they are much influenced by their teachers and they would valuetheir teachers' advices as gold. Sometimes the advices from a teacher,especially from the king's teacher, can affect the function of society. Thatmeans the power of teacher can reached to the world through their powerful orrich students.

Ofcourse, teachers' status in modern society is vital. Every individual know thatknowledge is power and mental works are far more valued than physical works.The pay of Steven Jobs would be more than the pay of a waiter or waitress sincewe all know that which job is more intricate. Of course, even Steven Jobs needsa teacher.

However,these factors cannot make the teachers more precious in modern society than inthe past. The unique power and influence that teachers have in the past madethem valuable and the abundant way to learn in modern society make teachers notnecessary.

slave918 · 发表于 2014-7-20 21:39:48

7.20 综合
TPO7

The professor argues against the author inthe writing that the companies in the America would seek the ecocertificationsinstead of ignoring them.

In the first place, Americans would nottreat all the advertisement equally. In their opinion the claims made by theindependent certification agent would outweigh the claims made by the companyitself, like the claims labeled "new" or "improved".Besides, Americans are found of ecological protection, so they would be favorto buy the products which are labeled by the ecocertification.

Furthermore, although individuals all valuethe price of products, they would don't emphasize on it if the differencebetween prices is small. Since Americans are all like to preserve the environment,they would like to buy the ecoertified wood as long as the price of it wouldnot be so high compared to the uncertified wood.

The last but not least, although thecompanies in America sell most of their products in the United States, theywould confront the stiff competition from ecocertified companies from other countries.If the native companies don't cater to the inclination of Americans that theyare found of ecocertified wood, one day the market would be filled with foreigncompetitors.

sweetyecho · 发表于 2014-7-21 18:58:30

错误修改好
TPO7

The professor argues against the author in the writing that the companies in the America would seek the ecocertifications instead of ignoring them.

In the first place, Americans would not treat all the advertisement equally. In their opinion the claims made by the independent certification agent would outweigh the claims made by the companyitself, like the claims labeled "new" or "improved".Besides, Americans are found （I suggest you want to use this word "fond"）of ecological protection, so they would be favor ("favored", "favor" can only used in v. or n. forms ) to buy the products which are labeled by the ecocertification.

Furthermore, although individuals all valuethe price of products, they would don't (should be "would't") emphasize on it if the difference between prices is small. Since Americans are all like to preserve the environment,they would like to buy the ecoertified wood as long as the price of it would not be so high compared to ("with", "compare to" 比作，"compare with"比较 ) the uncertified wood.

The last but not least, although the companies in America sell most of their products in the United States, they would confront the stiff competition from ecocertified companies from other countries.If the native companies don't cater to the inclination of Americans that they are found ("fond", same as above) of ecocertified wood, one day the market would be filled with foreign competitors.

To sum up, your listening is excellent. Most of it can be reworded well. This integrated writing should be "good"

slave918 · 发表于 2014-7-22 09:38:38

sweetyecho 发表于 2014-7-21 18:58
错误修改好
TPO7

thank u so much.

GJason · 发表于 2014-7-22 11:02:40

等你的作文和你的批改

slave918 · 发表于 2014-7-22 12:04:27

In my views, improving school is definitely a essential factor to boost the development of a country but sadly it is not the most important one. Improving the education of a country must be depended on some other things which are the authentic cornerstone. I will try to explain below the specific reasons which i think are the most common viewpoints nowadays.

First and foremost, what is the cardinal want people need to be fulfilled? The answer would be healthy. If a man under a severely famine, would he has the interest to read books? Clearly, it is a stable life without no war, no starving that ensures a critical peace that would be the beginning of a serious moves of development. For instance, a long time ago, there were several times of famine in Chinese history. You can't even imagine what people would do in that outrageous position. A newborn baby would be eaten by his parents. That's really cruel but real. Parents can't bring happiness to the child but pain, so they would rather eat it.

Furthermore, if we back to 500 years ago, in china we can see that the emperor very concerned about education, trying to improve the circumstance of school and giving much reverence to people who has bountiful knowledge. However, in that time, Chinese were very weak. Why? Because Chinese didn't interactive with other countries, they were not positioned in a place amid stiff competition. They were not motivated to develop their own technology, to broaden their horizon and to compete with other counties. Even though the school was progressive in china, it is far-behind the school in other counties. It is severely limited by the culture, economy and politics of china.

Of course, education is one of essential concerns to all the countries, ranging from the underdeveloped countries to developed countries. Education, especially higher education, guarantees the society a lot of elites which would certainly help the economical development, military development and political development. Correspondingly, the government diverts
so much money into education. It is a industry which would repay you if only you put your resources in it.

However, these advantages still can't make the education the most important factor to develop a country only if we can guarantee the people a stable life without no war, no famine, etc and let the country confront the competition from all over the world.

slave918 · 发表于 2014-7-22 12:05:16

GJason 发表于 2014-7-22 11:02
等你的作文和你的批改

已发~~~~~~~~~~~~

slave918的作文贴

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