slave918的作文贴

GJason

In my views, improving school is definitely a(an) essential factor to boost the development of a country but sadly it is not the most important one. Improving the education of a country must be depended on some other things which are the authentic cornerstone. I will try to explain below the specific reasons which i(I) think are the most common viewpoints nowadays.(reasons 和 which的指代关系不是很顺畅，修改名词或者指代词均可，below似乎不需要)

First and foremost, what is the cardinal want people need to be fulfilled?（need似乎不需要） The answer would be healthy. If a man under a severely famine, would he has the interest to read books? Clearly, it is a stable life without no(重复) war, no starving that ensures a critical peace that would be the beginning of a serious moves of development（critical和serious两个形容词不太恰当，也许是我理解不到）. For instance, a（a不需要，historically is better） long time ago, there were several times of famine in Chinese history(times of可以省去 ). You can't even imagine what people would do in that outrageous position. A newborn baby would be eaten by his parents. That's really cruel but real. Parents can't bring happiness to the child but pain, so they would rather eat it.

Furthermore, if we back to 500 years ago, in china(Chian) we can see that the emperor very concerned about education, trying to improve the circumstance of school and giving much reverence to people who has bountiful knowledge. However, in that time, Chinese were very weak. Why? Because Chinese didn't interactive（形容词哦） with other countries, they were not positioned in a place amid stiff competition. They were not motivated to develop their own technology, to broaden their horizon and to compete with other counties. Even though the school was progressive in china, it is far-behind the school in other counties. It is severely limited by the culture, economy and politics of china.

Of course, education is one of essential concerns to all the countries, ranging from the underdeveloped countries to developed countries. Education, especially higher education, guarantees the society a lot of elites which would certainly help the economical(economic is better, economical means cheap) development, military development and political development. （which指代不对，who.）Correspondingly, the government diverts so much money into education. It is a industry which would repay you if only you put your resources in it. （既然是有点，是不是就不用提这些个事儿了？）

However, these advantages still can't make the education the most important factor to develop a country only if we can guarantee the people a stable life without no war, no famine, etc and let the country confront the competition from all over the world.

GJason

写作水平有限，请slave918有选择的接受修改意见。谢谢你的建议，点的非常到位。

slave918

GJason 发表于 2014-7-22 18:02
写作水平有限，请slave918有选择的接受修改意见。谢谢你的建议，点的非常到位。 ...

谢谢了

slave918

7.23 独立
In a society, humans accomplish their assignments by interacting with others so individuals can't avoid that someone would go against their opinions. In that case, I would prefer to state my honest thoughts even though others may not agree with me because I believe that it is the exchanging of thoughts that makes our life better.

First and foremost, exchanging your honest opinions with others would help to correct your negligence or others, contributing to the whole group that you are working in. An individual can't not guarantee things perfect, since his/her own knowledge and experience are limited by his/her culture or environment. Stating the truth may be harmful but it is a good feedback to your group whether it is correct. For instance, once time, 3 of my classmates and I needed to finish a presentation in economics class. When we were choosing the topic of that assignment, I proposed that we should focus on financial crisis in 2008. However, they didn't agree with me, insisting on the welfare policies. By communicating after a while, we finally reach the consensus. It turns out that they didn't know that the teacher doesn't prefer the topics about government decisions. Thus, by exchanging the opinions, a group can absorb all the information and make the most right decision in current situation.

Furthermore, if individuals don't state their honest thoughts and still doubt the decision the group made, how can they diligently dedicate for that decision with their passion. If individuals believe in that decision, not only they will finish it resolutely, but also the efficiency of the group will rise. For example, when my classmates told me that I should contact with the professor we invited, I was severely doubtful because I didn't think it is necessary. But I still finished that job. However, it turns out that I neglect some essential details to ask, leading our group to an inevitable failure. If I can tell my classmates my doubt, he would inform me the destination of what I was doing, the underlying process of our program. Then I would try as much as I can to reach the best result.

Of course, telling the honest opinions always has some disadvantages. Individuals may make a bad impression on their colleagues. If they are in a company, they may lose their chances to be promoted. Sometimes people don't care what the final decision is. They just follow the authority or most of the people because by doing so, they would not have the chances to be blamed by others.

However, the reasons above can't harvest the conclusion that we should not tell the honest thoughts. We should have a big picture. We should focus on the benefits of the whole group not ourselves. Once people understand you are such a person, they would respect you and your opinions. Correspondingly, the opinions from those who always follow the group would be undervalued.

GJason

语法错误基本没有，词汇有很多是我用不出来的，学习了。

slave918

GJason 发表于 2014-7-24 18:36
语法错误基本没有，词汇有很多是我用不出来的，学习了。

互相学习。谢谢了

slave918

7.25综合
The professor proposes that Jane Austen is the subject of the portrait is totally unconvincing, pointing out that the author in the reading is wrong.

First and foremost, although the family member can recognize the painting is one of Austen's portraits, we still can't not harvest the conclusion that the paint depicts Austen. Since when the family member recognized the Austen, she died for almost 30 years. The family member even hadn’t seen her face to face.

Furthermore, although the face in the portrait looks like Austen's, we can't conclude that it is definitely her face. In that big family, many female cousins of Austen are teenagers and many children are teenagers, too. Their face would resemble Austen’s. In fact, many scientists believe that the subject in the portrait is a distant relative of Austen.   

The last but not least, the author asserts that the paint delineates the young Austen because she was still a teenager when Ozias Humphrey is actice whose style was alike to the paniting’s. However, the professor argues that the stamp in the canvas was sold by a man. That man only sold canvas when Austen was old.

资深少女_贾贾

slave918 发表于 2014-7-25 10:02
7.25综合
The professor proposes that Jane Austen is the subject of the portrait is totally unconvinc ...

The professor proposes that Jane Austen is the subject of the portrait is totally unconvincing, pointing out that the author in the reading(应该是reading passage吧) is wrong.

First and foremost, although the family member can recognize the painting is one of Austen's portraits, we still can't not (笔误) harvest the conclusion that the paint depicts Austen. Since when the family member recognized the Austen, she died for almost 30 years. The family member even hadn’t seen her face to face.

Furthermore, although the face in the portrait looks like Austen's, we can't conclude that it is definitely her face. In that big family, many female cousins of Austen are teenagers and many children are teenagers, too（这句话感觉不地道... 我觉得干脆就不要写这句了）. Their face would resemble Austen’s. In fact, many scientists believe that the subject in the portrait is a distant relative of Austen.   

The last but not least, the author asserts that the paint delineates the young Austen because she was still a teenager when Ozias Humphrey is actice（这里是笔误吧... 但是我推不出楼主想写的是哪个单词 ） whose style was alike to the paniting’s. However, the professor argues that the stamp in the canvas was sold by a man. That man only sold canvas when Austen was old.

总结：要点都基本听出来了，拍小手鼓掌！
文章短句比较多且零碎，不如整合整合变长句吧~

slave918

资深少女_贾贾 发表于 2014-7-26 10:11
The professor proposes that Jane Austen is the subject of the portrait is totally unconvincing, po ...

thank u so much

slave918

7.26 独立
People are all pursuing something in their whole life, including Money, power, happiness, love, etc. In my views, the most desirable thing that people want is public recognition. Of course, it is far more important than money because public recognition can bring something that money cannot.

First and foremost, public recognition can harvest a lot of things, among which the most essential one is trust. Can money buy trust from others? The answer would be an obvious no. For example, when Obama championed for the president of America, He won it because people trust him not because he has money. He earned the trust by repeated advertisement, debate, and presentation. That's how he makes people recognized. The people who have money can support Obama, but they can never be the president of America, the most powerful man in the free world. Thus, we can see that why someone would do what they can do to build his/her reputation instead to earn money.

Furthermore, public recognition would bring an individual a lot of happiness which money can't buy. Imaging when you are young, it would be terrific, if your teacher told you that you did an excellent job. Getting people recognized is a kind of intrinsic lust of humans. If an individual did the greatest thing in the world but people wouldn't know it, it wouldn't be happy but sorrowful. For example, I took a marathon when I was in college. My classmates all worried about my endurance because once I easily gave up my debating game. When I cross the final line, they looked at me excited. They eventually admitted that I can do things consistently. I was quite happy in that moment because it is gorgeous when people considered you a reliable person.

Of course, with money an individual can do a lot of things, it is very tempting to all of us. But public recognition doesn't means that you are goanna be poor. On the country, with public recognition, one is more likely to be wealthy. For example, an individual usually have the chances to show on the TV. He/she can write autobiography and people would be willing to buy it. Corporation would like to invite famous people to endorse its products.

After rumination all the factors, we can easily reach the conclusion that public recognition is more important than money. Even an individual is very wealthy. He/she can't earn the trust from others. Even an individual is surrounded by gold, he/she wouldn't be happy without others appreciation.