e23lzh的写作贴

e23lzh · 发表于 2013-1-18 22:01:04

好吧，初来乍到，不太懂规矩。尽管一个月之前就报名考试了，但是之前一段时间实在是太忙了，所以没来得及准备，
现在离考试还剩下六七天了。。。
压力很大。
作文都不知道该写些什么东西，感觉没有什么话说。
希望在这里跟大家一起努力吧！！

jgasoshmu2005 · 发表于 2013-1-18 22:59:16

和我的感觉一样，没话说．．．．

e23lzh · 发表于 2013-1-18 23:40:56

觉得写的很不顺利，就剩几天就要考试了，很无奈啊。

1.18 young people today are more willing to help.

It's an instinct of humans formed during the process of evolution that they would help each other to survive the natural selection. As human beings are becoming more civilized, they tend to be increasingly helpful. Young people today, therefore, are more willing to help others.

First and foremost, education inspire people to lend a hand to others. Even in the kindergarten, teachers taught us to care about others. When we got into high school, we learnt the three passions of Berterand Russell, the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and the unbearable pity for the suffering of the mankind. It's as clear as crystal that the more education one received the more sympathic one will feel about others' suffering, and, consequently, the more obliged one feels to offer help. We can proudly say that the education today is far more advanced than that of the past, therefore, our educatees, usually young people, are more willing to help others. And this is best illustrated with the example that we can see increaseing number of college students take part in volunteer jobs to help others.

Secondly, teamwork nowadays becomes significant to one's success and more people come to realize that. In the universities, the students are always asked to cooperate to finish a project and in real-life workplace, no one can actually finish a task completely on oneself. Thus, young people are foreced to be cooperative and helpful because that his or her success is to a large scale depend on others' performence. For instance, as a software engineer to-be, I have to talk to my partners frequently to find out if they are confronted with difficulties so that I can help them to solve them, or we cannot finish the task on time.

Finally, statistic data shows that if one received help in the first place, he or she will be more willing to offer help. In the past time, because of the communication problem, people can only ask the nearby for help. Now, however, with the advancement of information technology, one can reach anybody around the world via Internet. That means that people can get help easier than the past, and, in turn, they will be more willing than ever to offer help.

Education, teamwork and telecommunication has to a large extent influenced young people's life, and certainly their sense of offering help. It's safe to say that with the development of civilization, people will tend to be more and more helpful. Every generation will be more helpful than the previous one.

jgasoshmu2005 · 发表于 2013-1-19 00:15:39

1.18 young people today are more willing to help.

Helping others is one of the instincts that originates during the process of evolution in order to survive from natural selection. As human beings are becoming more civilized, they tend to be more dedicated to help their peers. Young people today, therefore, are more willing to help as well.

First and foremost, education inspires people to lend a hand to others. Even in the kindergarten, teachers taught us to care about others. When we got into high school, we learnt the three passions of Berterand Russell, the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and the unbearable pity for the suffering of the mankind. It's crystal clear that the more education one received, the more sympathetic one will feel about others' suffering, and, consequently, the more obliged one’s feelings to offer help. We can proudly say that the education today is far more advanced than that of the past, therefore, our educatees, usually young people, are more willing to help others. And the best existing example that we can see is increasing number of college students take part in volunteer jobs to help others.

Secondly, teamwork nowadays becomes significant to one's success and more people come to realize that. In universities, students are always asked to cooperate to finish projects and in real-life workplace, no one can actually finish a task completely by oneself. Thus, young people are forced to be more cooperative and helpful because that his or her success is partially depending on others' performance. For instance, as a software engineer to-be, I have to talk to my partners frequently to find out if they are confronted with difficulties so that I can help them to solve, otherwise we cannot finish the task on time.

Finally, statistic data shows that if one received helps in the first place, he or she will be more willing to offer helps at the same time. In old days, because of communication problem, people can only ask the people nearby for help. Now, however, with the development of information technology, one can reach anybody around the world via Internet. That means that people can get help easier than the past, and, in turn, they will be more willing than ever to offer help.

Education, teamwork and telecommunication has influenced young people's life to a large extent, and certainly their sense of offering help. It's safe to say that with the development of civilization, people will tend to be more and more helpful. Every generation will be more helpful than the previous one

jgasoshmu2005 · 发表于 2013-1-19 00:18:10

楼主写的不错，但有些小的地方如果注意些会更好
１．重复的词用的比较多，这样会影响分数
２．和我一样的问题，介词和ｔｈｅ感觉有些时候用的不恰当
３．我的水平也不高，所以把感觉不恰当的地方重写了一下，当然，不一定比原作好，我也尽力而为了

e23lzh · 发表于 2013-1-19 21:42:51

1.19 独立：environmental conerns vs. economic growth

Decades ago, the international community tends to believe that the economy prosperity is of higher priority than environment protection. After years of development, however, people witnessed many tragedies like the Great Smog, the Global Warming, etc., and then gradually come to realize that preserving the environment is of greater importance than elevating the economy.

A good environment is the prerequisite for the economy development. We need raw materials from the nature to manufacture our products. We need fresh air and clean water to survive. Without a good environment, how can we meet all the requirements above? Think of the Great Smog in London, 1952. At that time, people were indulged into the illusion of industrialization and neglected the importance of preserve the environment. The air is severely polluted by the industrial waste. Certainly, people at that time paid a heavy price - tens of thousands people died from the toxic smog, making it one of the most severe environmental disaster in the history of human beings.

Moreover, once the environment is contaminated, it takes years to recover. The UK government spent a great amount of money to clean the air and to purify the polluted water in the Thames. According to a statistics, the expense even exceeded the GDP of UK of one year, that is to say that it is highly cost ineffective, not to mention the time it took to recover. Therefore, it is crystal clear that if we do not take actions to preserve the environment for economy's sake until the nature revenges us, it is too late.

Finally, there is something precious that once we lose it, we could never obtain it again. We sacrifice the biodiversity to boost our economy. We cut down the trees in the Amazon area to make space for agriculture. We focus only on our needs today and forget to look farther to the future, and there will be a day when we regret for what we have done today but we could never make it up. It is said that a kind of creature dies out every second, and it will never show again, leaving us the endless pity.

Conclusively speaking, people are not to blame for boosting the economy. But they should learn to protect the environment and to become environmentally conscious. Environmental concerns are of greater significance than economic growth. After all, we've got only one Earth.

jgasoshmu2005 · 发表于 2013-1-19 22:17:46

很不错

e23lzh · 发表于 2013-1-21 20:27:45

1.20 Friends

Friends are a group of people who can share our happniess and undertake our sorrow. What air is to the living, that friends are to us people. Life without friendship will be far less colorful. Therefore, friends are indispensable to us, and we should make friends with others. When it comes to making friends, however, there are several ways, such as joining a sports team or traveling, among which I prefer making friends by participating in community activities.

It is self-evident that participants of the same activity always have similar interests, which enables them to communicate more casually and easily. Take myself as an example. Since I had a very rare hobby - singing and enjoying Peking Opera, I had long been a lonely peron for few people share my hobby until I took part in an activity held by the Peking Opera Promotion Committe. There I found a lot of people who shared the same interest with me in Peking Opera. We interchanged our viewpoints towards different operas freely, invited each other to the concerts and enjoyed plays togather. With those people around, I felt happy and confortable. We soon became good friends and still keep in touch.

Besides, in the process of cooperation or competitation, participants could have better understanding of each other's characteristic and personality. This is best illustrated by the example of my brother Joey. He is a funny and outgoing person who is extremely good at making friends. He told me the secret of his success in making friends is to work more with people, either compete or cooperate with each other. He said, working togather increased the chance of communicating, facing difficulties togather and solving problems togather. This experence with others to a large extent enhances the friendship between one and another and makes their friendship more endurable also.

From the analysis above, it is crystal clear that taking part in some community activities is a ideal way to accquire friendship. For one perspective, the participants usually have similar hobbies, which enable them to communicate easier. For another, participants get better chance to know each other during the activity. Therefore, if possible, why not take part in an activity and make some friends there?

e23lzh · 发表于 2013-1-21 20:28:46

提交晚了、、、、不好意思啊

wsxz007 · 发表于 2013-1-21 21:45:48

1.20 Friends

Friends are a group of people who can share our happiness and undertake our sorrow. What air is to the living, that friends are to us people. Life without friendship will be far less colorful. Therefore, friends are indispensable to us, and we should make friends with others. When it comes to making friends, however, there are several ways, such as joining a sports team or traveling, among which I prefer making friends by participating in community activities.

It is self-evident that participants of the same activity always have similar interests, which enables them to communicate more casually and easily. Take myself as an example. Since I had a very rare hobby - singing and enjoying Peking Opera, I had long been a lonely person for few people share my hobby until I took part in an activity held by the Peking Opera Promotion Committee. There I found a lot of people who shared the same interest with me in Peking Opera. We interchanged our viewpoints towards different operas freely, invited each other to the concerts and enjoyed plays together. With those people around, I felt happy and confutable. We soon became good friends and still keep in touch.

Besides, in the process of cooperation or competition, participants could have better understanding of each other's characteristic and personality. This is best illustrated by the example of my brother Joey. He is a funny and outgoing person who is extremely good at making friends. He told me the secret of his success in making friends is to work more with people, either compete or cooperate with each other. He said, working together increased the chance of communicating, facing difficulties together and solving problems together. This experience with others to a large extent enhances the friendship between one and another and makes their friendship more endurable also.

From the analysis above, it is crystal clear that taking part in some community activities is an ideal way to accquire friendship. For one perspective, the participants usually have similar hobbies, which enable them to communicate easier. For another, participants get better chance to know each other during the activity. Therefore, if possible, why not take part in an activity and make some friends there?

第一次看楼主的文章，真心不错个别几个错的单词我已经改过来了，都不是大问题不过有一个together重复错了好几次，特别注意一下。
整个文章结构和句词使用真的已经很不错了，也给了我一些启发，不过题目中的new friends 楼主还是稍稍注意一下，这个貌似我自己写的也不是很清楚，不过应该没大问题毕竟是T的考试。
再就是，最好还能有一小段一下其他交友的长处，辩证的论述加上楼主娴熟的语言运用，绝对高分哦

e23lzh的写作贴

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写的很棒,比我强多了!

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所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

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