Tancy4月20一战求指导！

Tancyfox · 发表于 2013-3-7 15:40:01

Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is more enjoyable to have a job and work long hoursfor three days in a week than to work shorter hours for five days in a week.

Some people claimthat they are more enjoyable to have a job and work short hours for more daysin a week than to work for a long hour for few days in a week, because a fast-pacedplace is undoubtedly damnify people’s physical fitness and daily social life. But in fact, I believe it is an exaggeration tosay a nervous working rhythm will cause damage of people’s health and social life.

In the firstplace, the nervous working rhythm can encourage people continually improve the efficiencythemselves. We all have an experience where some important works are coming tomeet the deadline; we will focus more and pay more attention on the task in thatcritical moment. In that moment, doing our utmost to achieve our goal can makeus get into a good habit, thus, accomplish the work efficiently. Moreover, tokeep that efficient state, people should insure their good health. Hence, in myopinion, the things which will definitely damage of worker’s health can only happento those most undisciplined person who are careless about their health.

In the secondplace, because of the short concentrated working time, people in this working patternare able to have longer relaxing time rather than the people who choose to workfor five days every week. This part ofspare time can be used effectively. If aperson wants to learn more things out of works, the four days spare time wouldbe very valuable for the working people to arrange by themselves. Likewise, forthe working people who are always complaining about the lacking chance of doingthe social communication, the free time is enable them to do social work. Even ifthe person feel much tired about last three days’ work, travel around the countryseems like a good idea to relax themselves.

Furthermore, compressthe working time can indeed develop the ability of working under enormouspressure. There is no denying that training one in such situation will enhance psychologicalquality quickly. As the adage says “Success began awakening, decide the fatementality.” the implication being that good psychological quality is a vitalfactor on the way of success.

Based on all thesearguments, even though the model of working long hour for three weeks in a weekcan be a challenge for amount of people, the big blocks of spare time thatfollowed for us to arrange.

Integrated Writing:
TPO15

The reading passagerecommended the issue of several methods to stop the spread of cane toads in Australia.And the professor’s lecture deals with the same issue. However, she thinks thatamount of the three of the issue are definitely inadequate for the localenvironment, which contradicts what the reading state. And in the lecture, sheuses three specific points to support her idea.

Firstly, even thoughthe reading passage suggest that the simple way of stop the multiplied of thecane toad is to build national fence, the professor argues in the lecture that thisway is unlikely to be effectively. This is because the young toad and the toadeggs are found in the relevant stream, which means the river and stream cancarry the eggs and young toads through the fence. Obviously, the professor’sargument disproves the counterpart in the reading.

Moreover, despitethe statement in the reading that the toad can be captured and destroyed by thelarge amount of volunteers, the professor contends that it is sure that thetoad can be caught, however, this method will cause the ecological destroy.Then she supports this point with the fact that the second method mentioned inthe reading passage will also destroys native frogs, and some of the nativespecies have already in dangerous, in other words, some young volunteers cannotdistinguish the native frog and the toad clearly, that will cause theecological damages.

Finally, the processerasserts that the third method is a bad idea and whereas the author of thereading claims that the developing virus can control the population of toads. Theprofessor proves that this claim is indefensible by pointing out that usingthis way will also destroy the population in North America, and the whole ecologicalsystem can be suffered.

In conclusion, theprofessor clearly identifies the weakness in the reading passage andconvincingly shows that the central argument in the reading, thus, severalmethod of stopping spread of toad is incorrect.
综合写作的模板用的好像有点长了…………第一次写

Tancyfox · 发表于 2013-3-8 19:41:25

Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
过去人吃的食物比现在人的更健康。

The traditional attitude of eating fresh food in season is increasingly doubted by in today’s world. With the development of science and technology, large amount of novel technologies and facilities are using in agriculture and animal husbandry industry, such as vegetable greenhouse, genetically modified food, agricultural chemical and hormones. Are these new technologies really good for human life?

It may be true that the development of the technologies greatly enriched people's daily diet. But at the same time, the risk of these new products is on study. For instance, the current position of the UK Government claims that there is no evidence of long-term dangers from genetically modified food. And this means that no one can make any accurate predictions about the long term effects of genetically modified food stuffs on human beings and the environment. Moreover, most of people even don’t know that the much of the food we eat today indeed grown from seeds engineered in labs.

Besides, food security can be another big issue for most of the diners. It is universally acknowledged that unsafe food may cause people's healthy question, even threatens the life. For this reason, we cannot emphasize the importance of the food safety too much. According to the estimates by WHO, unsafe food makes 2 billion people ill each year, and it is about one third of the world population. This statistic must call people’s attention to concern about the food materials which need to be use every day.

The last reason I’m agree with the people in the past had more healthy diet than the modern people is that the fast-food culture has already terribly effect our daily life. Too much greasy goods will undoubtedly cause lots of illness, such as obesity and heart attack, and they are very unhealthy for our digestive system. In the modern world, fast-pace life make people are obliged to decline their meal time. And that is the vital reason why the modern people cannot refuse the unhealthy fast-food culture.

For those reason above, we should really allow ourselves to eat a more healthy diet. As the old people always told to us that we should know what's in season and even if it's in the grocery store. Although the food safety has been a big issue for modern people, we can consider about obey the traditional eating habits as the people did in the past.

第一二三只 · 发表于 2013-3-9 00:33:23

Some people claim that they are more enjoyable to have a job and work short hours for more days in a week than to work for a long hour for few days in a week, because a fast-paced place is undoubtedly damnify people’s physical fitness and daily social life. But in fact, I believe it is an exaggeration to say a nervous working rhythm will cause damage of people’s health and social life.(直接用damage,会更简练些)

In the firstplace, the nervous working rhythm can encourage people continually improve the efficiencythemselves. We all have an experience where(which) some important works are coming tomeet the deadline; we will focus more and pay more attention(focus 和pay attention 相似，在一起用显得有点多余) on the task in thatcritical moment. In that moment, doing our utmost to achieve our goal can makeus get into a good habit, thus, accomplish the work efficiently. Moreover, tokeep that efficient state, people should insure their good health. Hence, in myopinion, the things which will definitely damage of worker’s health can only happento those most undisciplined person who are careless about their health.

In the secondplace, because of the short concentrated working time, people in this working patternare able to have longer relaxing time ~~rather~~ than the people who choose to workfor five days every week. This part ofspare time can be used effectively. If aperson wants to learn more things out of works（这个词组是失去工作，你应该想表达工作之余吧）, the four days spare time wouldbe very valuable for the working people to arrange by themselves（有点累赘。。）. Likewise, forthe working people who are always complaining about the lacking chance of doing~~the~~social communication, the free time is enables them to do social work. Even ifthe person feel much tired about last three days’ work, traveling around the countryseems like a good idea to relax themselves.

Furthermore, compressthe working time can indeed developthe ability of working under enormouspressure. There is no denying that training one in such situation will enhance psychological quality quickly. As the adage says “Success began awakening, decide the fatementality.” the implication being that good psychological quality is a vitalfactor on the way of success.

Based on all thesearguments, even though the model of working long hour for three weeks in a weekcan be a challenge for amount of people, the big blocks of spare time that followed（这里是waited 的意思吗？） for us to arrange.
总体来说文章逻辑挺清晰的，就是语法上有几个小缺点，我觉得你在句式上还可以再丰富些，有些从句也可以再简洁些。从你的作文里我学到了很多表达~~
我也是4月20号的托，咱们一起加油！！！

lihaolan · 发表于 2013-3-9 08:27:24

The traditional attitude of (toward) eating fresh food in season is increasingly doubted by in today’s world. With the development of science and technology, large amount of novel technologies and facilities are using in agriculture and animal husbandry industry, such as vegetable greenhouse, genetically modified food, agricultural chemical and hormones. Are these new technologies really good for human life?

It may be true that the development of the technologies greatly enriched（enriches） people's daily diet. But at the same time, the risk of these new products is still on study. For instance, the current position of the UK Government claims that there is no evidence of long-term dangers(influence) from genetically modified food. And this means that no one can make any accurate predictions about the long term effects of genetically modified food ~~stuffs~~ on human beings and the environment. Moreover, most of people even don’t know that the much of the food we eat today indeed grown from seeds engineered in labs.

Besides, food security can be another big issue for most of the diners. It is universally acknowledged that unsafe food may cause people's healthy question（problems）, even threatens the life. For this reason, we cannot emphasize the importance of the food safety too much. According to the estimates by WHO, unsafe food makes 2 billion people ill each year, and it is about one third of the world population. This statistic must call people’s attention to concern about the food materials which need to be use every day.(这段中心在food security 现在比以前更糟糕，有点偏离，还是抓住中心论证。最后一句话号召的口号不适合好像。)

The last reason I’m agree with the people in the past had more healthy diet than the modern people is that the fast-food culture has already terribly effect our daily life. （有点乱这句话，主句是the reason is。从句就看不清了，语法上看不清。The reason for。。 is。。。。这样比较好）Too much greasy goods will undoubtedly cause lots of illness, such as obesity and heart attack, and they are very unhealthy for our digestive system. In the modern world, fast-pace life makes people ~~are~~be obliged to decline their meal time. And（and 有点多）that is the vital reason why the modern people cannot refuse the unhealthy fast-food culture.

For those reason above, we should really allow ourselves to eat a more healthy diet. As the old people always told to us that we should know what's in season and even if it's in the grocery store. Although the food safety has been a big issue for modern people, we can consider about obey the traditional eating habits as the people did in the past.（还是点题。不是号召人们吃更健康，而是论证今夕的对比。）

文章语法，用词没有什么问题，有些名词术语很到位。但是论证时候最好扣紧中心。加油

Tancyfox · 发表于 2013-3-9 21:47:46

9 March
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People who move out of their native village and townare more successful and happier than the people live in their native village ortown all their life?

For centuries, thepeople who moved from one place of a continent to another are increasingrapidly. In the past, people always moved due to the natural disaster, seriousdisease or owing to the wars. Nowadays, however, we move to different part ofthe world in order to achieve our career goals, communicating with diverseculture or to see the world only.

Some people may considerthat people who leave from the native village will definitely feel much lonelyrather than happier. In fact, by moving to a new place, we can always make newfriends and seek success in work. Most of us have an experience that busy workswill keep people away from loneness and solitude. More exactly, moving out ofthe native village gives people more opportunity for their career, and morechance to be success. On the way for their life pursuit, will these dreamershave much spare time to feel lonely? The way to chasing dreams is a journeywhich can bring you joy and fulfillment, though, there are much tough on theroad. So, being a dreamer must be happier than the stubborn person who alwayslocks himself in one place.

Further, it is undeniablethat moving out of villages can promote the communication with outside world. Expandingthe range of communication with diverse culture will extremely broaden people’shorizon; enormous happiness may generated from this course. The collision ofdifferent thinking produces much inspiration and that is the reason why theperson who is succeeded by walking to the outside world.

Finally, Studiesshow that people who do new things, like going to new restaurants or living ina new place, are happier than people who don’t do that. This result can be understoodeasy, in other words, just seeing novel things can make people happier.
Just seeing theoutside is able to make people increase their knowledge. More precisely, with theprofound knowledge, the change success is easy to be caught, as the old sayingtold that success and opportunity are only given to those people who are well-prepared. If you never try anything new, how can youimprove?

There is nothing wrongwith living in native village for all life. For the best possible beingsuccessful and living a happier life, though, move out of their native villageand town is the better choice.

sylviazhang · 发表于 2013-3-10 19:55:04

For centuries, thepeople who moved(move) from one place of a continent to another are increasingrapidly. In the past, people always moved due to facts like (加上通顺些)the natural disaster, seriousdiseases or owing to the wars. Nowadays, however, we move to different parts ofthe world in order to achieve our career goals, communicating with (explore或许更恰当)diverseculture or to see the world only. (啥意思? 是想表达”看看世界”的意思吗？chinglish了。。。用broaden our minds 吧)

Some people may considerthat people who leave from the native village will definitely feel much lonely(lonelier)rather than happier. While In fact(加上while转折语气更加强烈), by moving to a new place, we can always make newfriends and seek success in work. Most of us have an(改成such an更恰当) experience that busy workswill keep people away from loneness(loneliness) and solitude. More exactly, moving out ofthe native village gives people more opportunities for their career, and morechances to be successful. On the way for their life pursuit, will these dreamershave much spare time to feel lonely? The way to chaseing (the way to do 固定搭配)dreams is a journeywhich can bring you joy and fulfillment, though, there（they） are much tough(tougher) on theroad. So, being a dreamer must be happier than the stubborn person who alwayslocks himself in one place. (为啥lock in one place就stubborn了呢？有点突兀，能再多些说理就好了)

Further, it is undeniablethat moving out of villages can promote the communication with outside world. Expandingthe range of communication with diverse culture will extremely broaden people’shorizon; enormous happiness may generated from this course. The collision ofdifferent thinking produces much inspiration and that is the reason why theperson who is succeeded by walking to the outside world.

Finally, Studiesshow that people who do new things, like going to new restaurants or living ina new place, are happier than people who don’t do that.（这个例子可以编的更真实些，用用国名地名时间段啥的detail…） This result can be understoodeasyily, in other words, just seeing novel things can make people happier.
Just seeing theoutside is able to make people increase their knowledge. More precisely, with theprofound knowledge, the change success is easy to be caught（这句没看懂，the chance to success）, as the old sayingtold (goes like this )that success and opportunity are only given to those people who are well-prepared. （可以加一句”Thus, by exploring yourself to the new world, you equip yourself with more preparations than others”） If you never try anything new, how can youimprove?（Improve一般做及物动词）

There is nothing wrongwith living in a native village for all life. For the best possible beingsuccessful and living a happier life, though, moveing out of their native villageand town is the better choice.

（为啥这篇缺了这么多空格）Tancyfox同学，我觉得你单复数和定冠词这方面要注意一些，毕竟因为这些错误扣分很不划算的，另外每段para之间的说理逻辑衔接要更严密些

sylviazhang · 发表于 2013-3-10 19:56:00

我不会把它改成有颜色的格式诶。。。怎么弄啊？><,

Tancyfox · 发表于 2013-3-10 21:37:01

Some people claim that, today, mostpeople often make decision depending on others’ opinion rather than makedecision by themselves. But in fact, as we grow up, we find that no one can replace us making decision for our life,except ourselves.

First and foremost, the person who persistentlythinks that the most people believe their own decisions can be instead of othersdecisions tends to be confused by the conception of l fully obeying others’ideas and just listening to others’ advice. Listening to others ideas help us broaden minds,think outside the box and explore more possibility from diverse perspectives. Specifically,in present society, most of the manager will adopt the methods, before makingfinal decision, like brainstorming and group discussion to assist them oflistening to more people’s opinion. However, the final decision is undoubtedlymade by us. More exactly, everyone should determine to abandon something and toobtain another, whatever the result.

Further, somepeople may think when we were children, parents always made decision for us. Evenso, we should admit that whether we need to follow their decision is depend onus. People keep trying improving their independence in their growth, so that thereis no doubt that they more like making decision by themselves, especially thedecisions are closely related to their life and interest. In that case, how canI believe anyone want to let others control his fate?

Last but notleast, there is no denying that no parents want their children to become aperson without decision-making ability. Instead, they always expect children torely on themselves. More precisely, they all believe that making decision independentlyis the foundation of gaining successful and facing failure. Without theindependence, how can parents feel relieved for us to facing differentchallenges? The education we accepted teaches us to making decisions for ourselves,that is to say, there won’t be many people willing to follow the decisioncompletely making by others.

All in all, I disagreewith the statement that most people often let others make decisions for themrather than make decisions by themselves. Even though there is nothing wrongwith listening to other people’s opinion, these opinions need to become thefinal decision only under our controlling.

Tancyfox · 发表于 2013-3-10 21:38:25

我不会把它改成有颜色的格式诶。。。怎么弄啊？><,

-- by 会员 sylviazhang (2013/3/10 19:56:00)

用发表回复，不要用快捷回复就行了，不然你用word改好再粘过来~

sylviazhang · 发表于 2013-3-10 23:39:58

不好意思，搞好了
For centuries, ~~the~~people who ~~moved~~(move) from one place of a continent to another are increasingrapidly. In the past, people always moved due to facts like(加上通顺些)the natural disaster, seriousdiseases or ~~owing to the~~ wars. Nowadays, however, we move to different parts ofthe world in order to achieve our career goals, communicating with (explore或许更恰当)diverseculture or to see the world only. (啥意思? 是想表达”看看世界”的意思吗？chinglish了。。。用broaden our minds 吧)

Some people may considerthat people who leave from the native village will definitely feel much lonely(lonelier)rather than happier. While In fact(加上while转折语气更加强烈), by moving to a new place, we can always make newfriends and seek success in work. Most of us have an(改成such an更恰当) experience that busy workswill keep people away from ~~loneness~~(loneliness) and solitude. More exactly, moving out ofthe native village gives people more opportunities for their career, and morechances to be successful. On the way for their life pursuit, will these dreamershave much spare time to feel lonely? The way to chase~~ing~~ (the way to do 固定搭配)dreams is a journeywhich can bring you joy and fulfillment, though, ~~there~~（they）are ~~much tough~~(tougher) on theroad. So, being a dreamer must be happier than the stubborn person who alwayslocks himself in one place. (为啥lock in one place就stubborn了呢？有点突兀，能再多些说理就好了)

Further, it is undeniablethat moving out of villages can promote the communication with outside world. Expandingthe range of communication with diverse culture will extremely broaden people’shorizon; enormous happiness may generated from this course. The collision ofdifferent thinking produces much inspiration and that is the reason why theperson who is succeeded by walking to the outside world.

Finally, Studiesshow that people who do new things, like going to new restaurants or living ina new place, are happier than people who don’t do that.（这个例子可以编的更真实些，用用国名地名时间段啥的detail…） This result can be understoodeasyily, in other words, just seeing novel things can make people happier.
Just seeing theoutside is able to make people increase their knowledge. More precisely, with theprofound knowledge, the change success is easy to be caught（这句没看懂，the chance to success）, as the old saying~~told~~ (goes like this )that success and opportunity are only given to those people who are well-prepared. （可以加一句”Thus, by exploring yourself to the new world, you equip yourself with more preparations than others”） If you never try anything new, how can youimprove?（Improve一般做及物动词）

There is nothing wrongwith living in a native village for all life. For the best possible beingsuccessful and living a happier life, though, moveing out of their native villageand town is the better choice.

（为啥这篇缺了这么多空格）Tancyfox同学，我觉得你单复数和定冠词这方面要注意一些，毕竟因为这些错误扣分很不划算的，另外每段para之间的说理逻辑衔接要更严密些

Tancy4月20一战求指导！

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Tancy4月20一战 求指导！

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Tancy4月20一战求指导！