txwilliam作文贴求狠批打分

txwilliam · 发表于 2012-12-19 13:18:12

18 Dec should work at company and at home？

For a long time, there have been widely-held concernsover whether we should work at home or at company. Obviously, the vast majoritypeople believe that working at home can make our work more efficient andconvenient. However, this idea is flawed in many aspects. As far as I amconcerned, I strongly oppose this idea by my opinion that working at office isthe normal and formal way for most situations. Because it can make a lot offriends to widen our horizon and can inspire our courage to solve the problemthat make my decision more perfect.
Albeit some argument proteins that working at home canrelieve our pressure and save a lot of resource for company, the advantage ofworking at office far outweighs them. The most significant one is that it canmake a lot friend and broaden our view. As the saying goes, to build up therelationship between you and your coworker can intensify our sense of teamworkand widen our horizon. Take my friends for instance, my friends Sam is ITprogrammer. he usually get together with his coworker to exchange his idea andfeeling about the news and family things and they cooperate with each other toreach their goal such as go hiking that make their life more colorful. Moreover,working with different people can strongly widen his horizon, mature hispersonality and enrich our thought. In my part, I prefer to office is the goodmethod that can make our job success.
Furthermore, another reason that can strengthen myopinion involves that at company, our coworker and supervisor can encourage usto overcome the dilemma and to alert me to consider the mistake. According tothe recent survey, the article find that 76.55 percent people believe thatperson who work at corporation can increase more choice that we communicatewith others to get some advise when we face some not easy control things. Thecoworker and supervisor can inspire you to deal with some difficult things witha good mood, which is where the success lies, no matter how low we fall, nomatter how high we bounce back. By their pertinent blame, I will be correct themistake freely, by their heart's advise, I will be persuaded to the right way,and by their good intension warning, I will be alert the conceiving dangers. Thiscase can further strengthen my position.
Admittedly, opinion over their virtue differ from personto person, I do not deny that there are some of advantages about working athome, such as you do not consider the working hour that we are free to makeyour schedule and we can reduce some stress and competition's pressure. Theadvantage of working at home cannot undermines what I have stated above.
As can be seen from all analysis, we safely come toconclusion that although everyone believes that working at home can make moreconvenient and comfortable during the working process, the current fact,nevertheless, demonstrates that working at office can widen our horizon and makedecision more scientific.

txwilliam · 发表于 2012-12-19 15:37:56

18 dec integrate writing

The reading and listening explores the topic of the important fossil are being sold to private consumer is good for public and scientists. The professor said that the fossil being owner is not bad for the public and scientist, which is oppose what the reading insist. The professor claims that three special reason to support his idea.
First, the professor concerns that the private consumer exposes more choice to public that oppose the reading's opinion. Because the private consumer want to earn the money by obtain the fossils. And some low level public such as small school can it and public it.
Moreover, the professor refutes the position that the reading maintains that the scientist lose choice to discover and access the fossils. The reason is it when it discover, the scientist are identify the fossil and exam the detail to ensure the values firstly. Which means it have more opportunity to access the fossil,
Above all, the professor claims that although it may damage some fossils, the private consumer can find more fossil that make it discover. The college and scientist are not convenient to discover it. To be specific, it is better to discover the fossil than it completely to unearth.

Yeeisstrong · 发表于 2012-12-19 23:15:18

18 Dec should work at company and at home？

For a long time, there have been widely-held concerns over whether we should work at home or at company. Obviously, the vast majority people believe that working at home can make our work more efficient and convenient. However, this idea is flawed in many aspects. As far as I am concerned, I strongly oppose this idea by my opinion that working at office is the normal and formal way for most situations. Because it can make a lot of friends to widen our horizon and can inspire our courage to solve the problem so that make my decision more perfect.
Albeit some argument proteins that working at home can relieve(release) our pressure and save a lot of resource for company, the advantage of working at office far outweighs them. The most significant one is that it can make a lot friend and broaden our view. As the saying goes, to build up there locationship between you and your coworker can intensify our sense of team work and widen our horizon(enlarge our eyesight). Take my friends for instance, my friends Sam is IT programmer. He usually gets together with his coworker to exchange his idea and feeling about the news and family things and they cooperate with each other to reach their goal such as go hiking that make their life more colorful. Moreover, working with different people can strongly widen his horizon, mature his personality and enrich our thought. In my part, I prefer to office is the good method that can make our job success.
Furthermore, another reason that can strengthen my opinion involves that at company, our coworker and supervisor can encourage us to overcome the dilemma and to alert me to consider the mistake. According to the recent survey, the article find that 76.55 percent people believe that person who work at corporation can increase more choice that we communicate with others to get some advise when we face some not easy control things. The coworker and supervisor can inspire you to deal with some difficult things with a good mood, which is where the success lies, no matter how low we fall, no matter how high we bounce back. By their pertinent blame, I will be correct the mistake freely, by their heart's advise, I will be persuaded to the right way, and by their good intension warning, I will be alert the conceiving dangers. This case can further strengthen my position.
Admittedly, opinion over their virtue differ from person to person, I do not deny that there are some of advantages about working at home, such as you do not consider the working hour that we are free to make your schedule and we can reduce some stress and competition's pressure. The advantage of working at home cannot undermine what I have stated above.
As can be seen from all analysis, we safely come to conclusion that although everyone believes that working at home can make more convenient and comfortable during the working process, the current fact, nevertheless, demonstrates that working at office can widen our horizon and make decision more scientific.

没什么大的毛病，字数足够。只是觉得写得句子比较普通，表达太汉语化了。另外注意单词的空格问题。建议多看看老美写得作文，看看老美的句子和作文的逻辑思维。加油坚持下去会进步的~

txwilliam · 发表于 2012-12-20 12:03:09

19 Dec 打分

Independent Writing: Agree or disagree? Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.

For a long time, there have been widely-held concerns over whether the job is more important than social life to pursue our happiness. Obviously, the vast majority people believe that the job is the most essential thing for us in our happy life. However, this idea is flawed in many aspects. As far as I am concerned, I strongly oppose this idea by opinion that socialization is the cruel factor for our happiness. Because it can widen our view that make our life prefect and relax ourselves when we face dilemma and stress.
Albeit some argument proteins that job can improve our life standard and strengthen our status in our society, the advantage of the socialization far outweighs them. The most significant one is that it can broaden our horizon. We do not want to billions in bank or a seaside house of full of full-time servant to be happy, as long as I have some friends who can enrich my personality. Take my friend for instance, my friend Sam who always get together with his friends to exchange some opinion about the political news and social criticism and cooperate with each other to reach the goal that make their life colorful, such as go hiking and have a vocation. Moreover, he usually involves with different people to strong widen his horizon and mature his thought. Therefore, in my part, I prefer to social life is indispensable factor in my life than job.
Furthermore, another reason that can strengthen my position involves that it can relieve the pressure from entire working and have a relax. As the saying goes, " Our life is like a big headache in our long noise roads." The job builds up a stress and fatigue every day that is like a never ending race. We sometimes not need a delicious food but just a friend who can make some pranks and jokes that can relax our nerve cell. We just go outside to do some exercises with friends to speed up our metabolism quickly and release our endorphin to get an exhilarating feeling and mood. Then you will be revitalized a battery that is being recharged. The recent survey finds that there are more than 65.45% person believe that get together with friends to obtain the good mood is the most happy things. This case can further strengthen my position.
Admittedly, opinion over their virtue differ from person to person, I do not deny that there are some disadvantage about job that is the core things in our happiness, such as, it can make our life more luxuriant and make other to jealousy of. While the advantage of job cannot undermines what I have stated above.
As can be seen from all the analysis, we safely come to a conclusion that although everyone believes that the job is the most significant one for happiness, the current factor, nevertheless, demonstrates that the socialization is the key factor for us to obtain the happiness

txwilliam · 发表于 2012-12-20 13:04:17

18 Dec integral writing 打分 tpo 14

The reading and listening take a topic of whether savlage logging is good for the forest and economy. The professor claims that the savlage logging is bad for forest and social economy, then she take three points to prove her idea.
First, the professor refutes that to remove the dead tress can give a good space for forest which is the reading insist. Because the dead trees enrich the soils that is suitable for the future generations. And it can supply some nutrient to some tree to help grow.
Moreover, the professor maintains the insect damage is not the bad thing for the spruce tree, which is opposed what the reading claims. The reason is the spruce tree live for long time, it not only have ability to provide the insect but also some birds and other insects to contribute the long living..
Above all, the professor’s concern differ from the reading that salvage logging can make some benefits for economy. It is smile and not too long. To be specific, the transportation's cost is most high than others. And we need some experimental and trained worker not the residents in the short time..

lizchang1990 · 发表于 2012-12-20 20:36:11

Independent Writing: Agree or disagree? Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.

For a long time, there have been widely-held concerns over whether the job is more important than social life to pursue our happiness(建议换when we pursue…). Obviously, the vast majority(这个是名词哦~) people believe that the job is the most essential thing for us in our happy life. However, this idea is flawed in many aspects. As far as I am concerned, I strongly oppose this idea by opinion(你这个感觉重复，去掉by opinion) that socialization is the cruel factor for our happiness. (前面换成逗号)Because it can widen our view that（这个that着实没看懂用法，建议简化吧） make our life prefect and relax ourselves when we face dilemma and stress.（这两个词用得不错）

Albeit some argument proteins that job can improve our life standard and strengthen our status in our society, the advantage of the socialization far outweighs them. The most significant one is that it can broaden our horizon. We do not want to（To建议去掉） billions in bank or a seaside house of full of full-time servant to be happy, as long as I have some friends who can enrich my personality. Take my friend for instance, my friend Sam who always get together with his friends to exchange some opinion about the political news and social criticism and cooperate with each other to reach the goal that make their life colorful, such as go hiking and have a vocation. Moreover, he usually involves with different people to strong widen his horizon and mature his thought(求讨论,mature可以这样用?). Therefore, in my part, I prefer(动词一) to social life is(谓语动词二) indispensable factor in my life than job.(这句话有语病哦~)

Furthermore, another reason that can strengthen my position involves that it can relieve the pressure from entire working and have a relax. As the saying goes, " Our life is like a big headache in our long noise roads." The job builds up a stress and fatigue every day(这整句话很好很有文采,但美中不足的是,语病哦~every day 是一个状语来修饰一个频率一样的东西,你这地方感觉当名词在用了,注意下下哦 ) that is like a never ending race. We sometimes not need a delicious food but just a friend who can make some pranks and jokes that can relax our nerve cell. We just go outside to do some exercises with friends to speed up our metabolism (亮点词汇)quickly and release our endorphin to get an exhilarating feeling and mood. Then you will be revitalized a battery that is being recharged. The recent survey finds that there are more than 65.45% person believe that get together with friends to obtain the good mood is the most happy things. This case can further strengthen my position.

Admittedly, opinion over their virtue differ from person to person, I do not deny that there are some disadvantage about job that is the core things in our happiness,(建议句子从句不要套太多了,会使得句子句意不明确,简化下会很好~) such as, it can make our life more luxuriant and make other to jealousy of(这个of….就不要带出来了哈~). While the advantage of job cannot undermines what I have stated above.

As can be seen from all the analysis, we safely come to a conclusion that although everyone believes that the job is the most significant one for happiness, the current factor, nevertheless, demonstrates that the socialization is the key factor for us to obtain the happiness

总体评价: 很多亮点大词汇,整个文章长度很不错,这些都给你拿高分会打下基础,但多注意下下简洁表达, 有些词性LZ还是不很熟悉,希望继续努力吧~

lizchang1990 · 发表于 2012-12-20 20:36:35

The reading and listening take a topic of whether savlage (写错了哦~)logging is good for the forest and economy. The professor claims that the savlage logging is bad for forest and social economy, then she take three points to prove her idea.

First, the professor refutes that to remove the dead tress can give a good space for forest which is the reading insist. (你的那个独立里面也出现了哦~Because 不要用个句号开头,换逗号前面~)Because the dead trees enrich the soils that is suitable for the future generations. And it can supply some nutrient to some tree to help grow.

Moreover, the professor maintains the insect damage is not the bad thing for the spruce tree, which is opposed what the reading claims. The reason is the spruce tree live for long time, it not only have ability to provide the insect but also some birds and other insects to contribute the long living.

Above all, the professor’s concern differ from the reading that salvage logging can make some benefits for economy. It is smile (哈哈~小错误哦,small ,其实你这个表达很模糊,不要it开头, 换benefit更好)and not too long. To be specific, the transportation's cost is most high than others. And we need some experimental and trained worker not the residents in the short time.(大致听出来了,但细节还是忽略掉了,写上helicopter, vehicle贵就加分哦哦~)

lizchang1990 · 发表于 2012-12-20 20:37:09

LZ帮我去看吧,我的贴出来了~~辛苦啦,评价有欠妥的,请原谅!

txwilliam · 发表于 2012-12-21 00:05:01

可能以后批改不及时，希望大家见谅，不好意思，但一定会给大家认真看的哈

txwilliam · 发表于 2012-12-21 14:42:37

20 打分
For a long time, there have been widely-held concerns over whether the young people are more likely to help others than past. Obviously, the vast majority of people believe that in the past the young people who have more intention to help people. However, this idea is flawed in many aspects. As far as I am concerned, I strongly opposed this idea by opinion that young people in the present have more opportunity to supple people who need help. Because it is very convenient and more efficient to give help by technology and supplying help can make a lot of friends and broaden view to get success in the modern competition.
Albeit some argument proteins that young people in the past can be effected more from traditional culture that encourage us to give an assist, the advantage of my idea far outweighs them. The most significant one is that by helping people you can make a lot of friends and widen our horizon that is necessary for success in the present. As the saying goes, to build up the relationship between you and someone who need help can intensify the sense of sympathetic and widen our horizon. Take my friend for instance, my friend Sam is a good at physic and so generous to tell others that what he knows .They cooperate each others to reach the goal that can make their life colorful and successful. Furthermore, during the helping process, he communicates with each others with different backgrounds that can enrich his personality, mature his thought and widen his horizon. Therefore, in my part, I prefer to say that young people are likely to assist others.
Furthermore, another reason that can strengthen my position involves that doing somebody a favor is more easily than past ,especially for young people who pay an attention to the new things, because the technology can make so transient that we just do it freely. The technology breaches the limitation of country's frontier and human's imagination. It changes the style of assisting and save a lot of time. According to the recent survey, the article finds that the technology are give more choices and methods that are make a revolution that change the old style of assisting. You just send a message by cellphone and internet to alert the conceivable dangers for your careful people. This can further strengthen my position.
Admittedly, opinion over their virtue differ from person to person, I do not deny that there are some of advantages about helping in past, such as our tradition encourage to assist more people and in past the young people are so innocent that are not consider some interests. The advantage of past cannot undermines what I have stated above.
As can be seen from all analysis, we safely come to a conclusion that although everyone believes that the young people are likely to help people, the current fact, nevertheless, demonstrates that in the present young people are more convenient to assist others.

综合写作晚些奉上，批改也可能会晚一点，别着急不好意思哈

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