argument 4 A与F地产求拍

byhdhr123 · 发表于 2012-11-4 11:59:36

The author conclude that if the person want to sell his home quickly and at a good price,the n he should use Adams Realty.The recommendation is based on the comparison that Adam has more agent than Fitch,and the specker's experience of selling his own house with Adam and Fihch,and the revenue of last year.The conclusion seems logical and persuasive at first glance,but it includes many assuptions that are unstated and unwarranted.Unless the arguer can provide us with more imformation to support his contention,the argument and the conclusion is not so valid.

First,the arguer says that Adams has 40 estate agent while Fitch only have 25,many of them work only part-time.The author assumes that more agents can reflect more efficiency and can know more about the business.However,it may not be the case.First,it is true that Adams has more agents,but the quality of them is unclear.There exist a posibility that the agents in Adams is not so skillful at their business and know little about how to sell a house,so their skills may not be superior to Fitch's.Though Fitch's agents is only 25,but they may konw a lot of the estate markets so they may help the application to sell their homes more quickly and at a better price.so only comparing in the quantity of the agents of the two companies is not convincing enough to make a decision that Adam is superior.

Then,the author suggest that last year's revenue of Adams is more than Fitch.But the there is still a assumption here more revenue can truly represent the company's quality.But it is still unwarranted.For the two company may be not good at the same kind of application.Adma's major business may be in the edifice while Fitch's business focus may concentrete in small house.So even the revenue of Adams is larger,when compared with other companies that sells edfices,it may be lower while Fitch's revenue could be larger in the same comparison with other companies that sells small house.Moreover,the revenue is last year's revenue,no one konws what happened in the last year.Maybe it is a fortuitous event that rouse profit and it is not the case this year.so we can't infer that the Adams can still get that revenue of this year.

In addition, the arguer imply that Adams sells houses quicker and at a better price by using his own experience.However,when he sell his house with Fitch,it was ten year ago,when comes to Adams,it is one year ago.The author premises that the situation of the estate market is constant and the houses that he sold can be compared.Still,the assumuption is not unwarranted.Common sense tells us that the eatate market is not constant.Maybe tenyears ago,when estate market is a newborn business,few people notice that and the demand of a house is not so strong as last year's,it may be hard even to sell a house,not to metion sell it at a good price.so it may be not the company to be blame.Furthermore,even if we assumes that the market is constant,it still can not get into a comparison for the situation and property of the house is not given.if the house sold one years ago is a big one and in good condition while the ten- year-ago one is not as good as that one,we also can not say Adams is better than Fitch.

To sum up,the seemingly logical argument is not so strong after examining.several unwarranted assumption are there to vitiate the solidity.If the author can provide more information of some details about the article that support that contention,the recommendation can be much more persuaive and convincing.

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-11-4 14:53:43

The author concludes that if the person wants to sell hishome quickly and at a good price, the n he should use Adams Realty. Therecommendation is based on the comparison that Adam has more agent than Fitch, andthe speaker’s experience of selling his own house with Adam and Fitch, and therevenue of last year. The conclusion seems logical and persuasive at firstglance, but it includes many assumptions that are unstated andunwarranted. Unless the arguer can provide us with more information to supporthis contention, the argument and the conclusion is not so valid.

First,the arguer says that Adams has 40 estate
agents while Fitchonly has25,many of who work only part-time. The author assumes that more agentscan reflect more efficiency and can know more about the business. However, itmay not be the case. First, it is true that Adamshas more agents, but the quality of them is unclear. There exist a possibility that theagents in Adams is not so skillful at their business and know little about howto sell a house, so their skills may not be superior to Fitch's. Though Fitch'sagents are only 25, but they may know a lot ofthe estate markets so they may help the application to sell their homes morequickly and at a better price. So only comparing in the quantity of the agentsof the two companies is not convincing enough to make a decision that Adam issuperior.

Then, the author suggests that last year's revenue of Adamsis more than Fitch. But the there is still a assumption here more revenue cantruly represent the company's quality. But it is still unwarranted. For thetwo companies may be not good at the same kind of application. Adma's majorbusiness may be in the edifice while Fitch's business focus may concentrate insmall house. So even the revenue of Adams islarger, when compared with other companies that sells edifices, it may be lowerwhile Fitch's revenue could be larger in the same comparison with othercompanies that sells small house.（前面几句能否重新组织下，是句子显得紧凑简洁些） Moreover, therevenue is last year's revenue; no one knows what happened in the last year. Maybeit is a fortuitous event that rouses profit and it is not the case this year. Sowe can't infer that the Adams can still get that revenue of this year.这个点能另起一段或者干脆不写为好。

In addition, the arguer implies that Adamssells houses quicker and at a better price by using his own experience. However,when he sell his house with Fitch, it was ten year ago, when comes to Adams, it is one year ago. The author premises that thesituation of the estate market is constant and the houses that he sold can becompared. Still, the assumption is not unwarranted. 这后面的几句最好改成推理性的语气，比如说，如果要使得作者的例子有一定的说服力，必须要保证怎么样怎么样，然后再说这种情况在题目中并没有提及到，所以……，尽量不要带入个人的认知和经验，而只需反驳题目的推理所存在的漏洞Common sense tells usthat the estate market is not constant. Maybe ten years ago, when estatemarket is a newborn business, few people notice that and the demand of a houseis not so strong as last year's, it may be hard even to sell a house, not to mention sellitata good price. so it may be not the company to be blame. Furthermore, even if weassume that themarket is constant, it still can not get into a comparison for the situationand property of the house is not given. if the house sold one years ago isa big one and in good condition while the ten- year-ago one is not as good asthat one, we also can not say Adams is betterthan Fitch.

To sum up, the seemingly logical argument is not so strong after examining. severalunwarranted assumption are there to vitiate the solidity. If theauthor can provide more information of some details about the article thatsupport that contention, the recommendation can be much more persuasive andconvincing.

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-11-4 14:56:02

小的单词拼写等错误以用红色字体改过，绿色字体是存疑的地方，LZ再检查下是否有问题，其他问题在文章中已经标出。
LZ做的比较好的一点是，写的比较具体，这很好，需要继续加强的是推理，把自己的推理别人漏洞的过程说清楚

[作文互改] argument 4 A与F地产求拍

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[作文互改] argument 4 A与F地产 求拍

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[作文互改] argument 4 A与F地产求拍