恶鸟终于开始写作文了。还有十天，希望大家拍砖！辛苦了！~

夜游的恶鸟 · 发表于 2012-8-26 21:24:32

终于要开始写作文了，希望大家狠拍啊，之后再练十天就该进考场了，不求运气了，希望到时候不要紧张！谢谢给我改作文的筒子们！~~~~~谢谢群里的各个大神帮忙了~~

独立写作：
8月26日
What is the main role of the university professor, to educate students or to do research?

Many people considerthe professor is the vital part of a university. They do research to discoversomething new and educate students with advanced knowledge. It seems that doresearch is very important as it might increase the development of science and technology.I think that to educate students should be the main role of the professors inuniversity.

First and foremost,the original function of a university is to supply a place to educate, and theoriginal position of a university professor is a teacher. Even thoughuniversity professors are very important for a country as they can help developethe most advanced technic by doing research. Without educating students well,there is no reason for a professor to stay in a university as there are lotsmore place to do research. Moreover, if most professors of a university do notpay enough attention in education, the reputation of this university will beworse and worse. Then less and less students will apply for this university.Ultimately, the university will not exist anymore. And so does the position ofprofessor.

Moreover, most ofthe researches, as we all know, are never done by one generation of scholars. Oneresearch might last for decades which could include professors and theirstudents and even the students of their students. If the professor only regardsthe research as the main role, s/he might never get any result before he die.However, with putting educating his/her students in the vital position, s/hemight have a coworker. And in another word, the research life has been prolonged;more and more scholar will continue his research. After all, it will be notonly good to educate students but also benefit to research.

Lastly, students goto university to be educated. Mostly, they learn knowledge and good habit fromtheir professor. If the professor doesn’t pay enough attention to educate them,a genius who might discover something important might be ploughed under. Comparingto a genius who might have done several researches, the attention to a researchof a professor is unworthy.

All in all, to wortha university professor’s salt, educate students should be the main role of aprofessor.

夜游的恶鸟 · 发表于 2012-8-26 21:25:15

总觉得字数不够，写的时候找不到例子。还要下去找几个万能例子看看了。

jijismile · 发表于 2012-8-27 15:28:44

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

8月26日
What is the main role of the university professor, to educate students or to do research?

Many people consider the professor ~~is the~~ as a vital part of a university. They do research to discover something new and educate students with advanced knowledge. It seems that doing research is very important as it might ~~increase~~ make(increase 和 development都有提高的意思)the development of science and technology. I think that to educate students should be the main role of the professors in university.

First and foremost, the original function of a university is to supply a place to educate, and the original position of a university professor is a teacher. Even though university professors are very important for a country as they can help to develope the most advanced technic by doing research. Without educating students well, there is no reason for a professor to stay in a university as there are lots more places to do research. Moreover, if most professors of a university do not pay enough attention in education, the reputation of this university will be worse and worse. Then less and less students will apply for this university. Ultimately, the university will not exist anymore. And so does the position of professor.

Moreover, most of the researches, as we all know, are never done (是不是用finished会好一些)by one generation of scholars. One research might last for decades which could include professors and their students and even the students of their students. If the professor only regards the research as the main role, s/he might never get any result before he die. However, with putting educating his/her students in the vital position, s/he might have a coworker. And in another word, the research life has been prolonged; more and more scholars will continue ~~his~~their researches. After all, it will be not only good to educate students but also benefit to research.

Lastly, students go to university to be educated. Mostly, they learn knowledge and good habit from their professor. If the professor doesn’t pay enough attention to educate them, a genius who might discover something important might be ploughed under. Comparing to a genius who might have done several researches, the attention to a research of a professor is unworthy.

All in all, to worth a university professor’s salt, educate students should be the main role of a professor.

抱歉，这么晚才来改。

总体上感觉，陈述的理由比较清楚，只是三四段的意思稍显重复，都是说educating作为前提有助于research的进行，是不是在第四段反过来说说会好点。貌似五段论开头点题，支持理由1，支持理由2，剖析反对的理由，总结应该这个样子吧，凭个人喜好吧。

在个别修改上，我是把自己感觉的确不太恰当的地方标记出来，其他有些地方意思虽然能理解，也许没有见过类似用法的原因，有些感觉不对，却不说出哪里不对（也可能是我感觉错了），呵呵，个人能力有限啊！

另外，字数貌似是300到400左右比较好吧，我也不确定。

建议找个牛人读一遍感知一下。理所不能及的地方，还望谅解。

夜游的恶鸟 · 发表于 2012-8-27 17:36:51

谢谢jijismile，真是自己看都会忽略掉的问题，幸好提出来了啊！好些地方是自己的用法习惯不好感觉~~下次希望会避免这样的错误~ 辛苦了！！

追梦CY · 发表于 2012-8-27 17:45:37

总觉得字数不够，写的时候找不到例子。还要下去找几个万能例子看看了。

-- by 会员夜游的恶鸟 (2012/8/26 21:25:15)

个人觉得其实除了万能例子外还可以试试编数据、作对比、扯自己的经历

夜游的恶鸟 · 发表于 2012-8-27 18:25:40

总觉得字数不够，写的时候找不到例子。还要下去找几个万能例子看看了。

-- by 会员夜游的恶鸟 (2012/8/26 21:25:15)

个人觉得其实除了万能例子外还可以试试编数据、作对比、扯自己的经历

-- by 会员追梦CY (2012/8/27 17:45:37)

嗯呢！提前想一个自己的经历，到时候按上！

夜游的恶鸟 · 发表于 2012-8-28 11:15:34

为什么总是编辑之后有单词黏在一起了啊……

夜游的恶鸟 · 发表于 2012-8-28 11:23:09

8月27日
know a person from type of friends that he has, agree or disagree

As we all know, it is difficult for people to live isolated. As human being, people always have friends in their life. Some people considered a person unique believe that a person cannot be known from type of his/her friends. However, I still believe a person can be told from type of friends that s/he has. Otherwise, how can they become friends without something in common?

Firstly, the interests of a person can expose the character. The type of friends people has can tell the character of them because friends usually have same interests. With the common interests, people will have a lot more materials to talk about. For instance, People who like rock music is usually full of passion, a person who has a lot of friends like this usually like rock music and full of passion as well. They can chat about music and rock together. Otherwise, they will not become friends without the common interest in music. So, it is easy to figure out people’s character from type of their friends who usually have common interests with them.

To have same interests is a factor of becoming friends, while friends also have same temperature and character. Just as the tortoise and the hare can never become friend as the hare is always in a rush and the tortoise is always annoyingly slow. They even have no chance to be in a same pace for the reason of different temperature. This case is not rare, in reality, people who have calm temperature always get together and talk about reading books, watch films etc. Meanwhile, people who like to adventure are climbing together. That means we can know anyone of a group with knowing the group.

Moreover, most friends have same background and same educational level. If people go to college, amount of their friends are their classmates. If people work in a design institute, most of their friends are designer. And if people is an artist, most of their friends are artists. All the above can prove that people usually make friends with same background. Then we can know the type of the person by knowing the background of his or her friends.

Here when we discuss about whether we can get to know a person from type of friends that s/he has, we should not forget a famous proverb” Birds of a feather, flock together”.

夜游的恶鸟 · 发表于 2012-8-28 23:21:22

8月28日
agree or disagree? If child want to do well in school, parents should limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies

Who is the person accompany your growth? That must be, despite of some indefinable arrangement, your parents. Therefore, parents are usually regarded as the life guide or the most important teacher of children. As we know, children are usually lack of will power. So, as life guides, to help children do well in school, parents should limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies.

First and the foremost, one reflection of doing well in school is getting a good mark. In order to get a good mark, children should spend enough time in learning. In another words, few time can be shared to watch TV programs or movies. However, plenty of interesting TV programs and movies like cartoon attract children. As a child, it is quite difficult for him or her to withdraw these temptations. After spending too much time on TV programs and movies, Children are not willing to go back to study. Then how can you expect them doing well in school? Accordingly, parents, as adults who knows the harm of wasting time on TV, should definitely limit the hour of watching TV programs and movies.

To study well in school is a reflection of doing well in school. While, in some cases, making friends and built a good relationship net are also another aspect of doing well in school. Children who want to make friends in school need to play with classmates and communicate with them. Usually, school activities supply opportunities to do that. However, children are generally alone when they watch TV programs. And children who spend a lot of time in watching TV programs and movies hardly have extra time to take part in these activities. As a result, they can hardly get chances to meet new friends, let alone make friends. Therefore, to help children better blend into school life, parents should limits the hours of watching TV programs or movies.

Moreover, watching TV programs or movies are bad for children’s healthy. Damage to children’s eyesight can hardly be avoided. Furthermore, children would have no time to do sports or go to gym without limit the hour of watching TV or movies. After that, they will never have a good health. And without a good health, it will be difficult to do well in school. Then, to limit the hours of watching TV programs or movies are quite emergency.

Admittedly, some TV programs and movies can educate children in a good way. However, the amounts of these kinds of programs are finite. A lots other activities and learning should be the right way of doing well in school. In a nutshell, parents should limit the hour of watching TV programs or movies to help children do well in school.

fairyfinger · 发表于 2012-8-29 11:32:42

8月27日
know a person from type of friends that he has, agree or disagree

As we all know, it is difficult for people to live isolated（这里应该要用副词，所以可以改成in isolation）. As human being, people always have friends in their life. Some people considered a person unique believe that a person cannot be known from type of his/her friends. However, I still believe a person can be told from type of friends that s/he has. Otherwise, how can they become friends without something in common?

Firstly, the interests of a person can expose the（his) character. The type of friends people has can tell the character of them because friends usually have same interests. With the common interests, people will have a lot more materials to talk about. For instance, People who like rock music is usually full of passion, a person who has a lot of friends like this usually like rock music and full of passion as well. (开头可以不用说例子，简洁一点好。可以把例子放到后面的段落里）They can chat about music and rock together. Otherwise, they will not become friends without the common interest in music. So, it is easy to figure out people’s character from type of their friends who usually have common interests with them.

To have same interests is a factor of becoming friends, while friends also have same temperature and character. Just as the tortoise and the hare can never become friend as the hare is always in a rush and the tortoise is always annoyingly slow. They even have no chance to be in a same pace for the reason of different temperature. This case is not rare, in reality, people who have calm temperature always get together and talk about reading books, watch films etc. Meanwhile, people who like to adventure are climbing together. That means we can know anyone of a group with (by) knowing the group.

Moreover, most friends have same background and same educational level. If people go to college, amount of their friends are their classmates. If people work in a design institute, most of their friends are designer. And if people is an artist, most of their friends are artists. All the above can prove that people usually make friends with those of the same background. Then we can know the type of the （a ）person by knowing the background of his or her friends.

Here when we discuss about whether we can get to know a person from type of friends that s/he has, we should not forget a famous proverb” Birds of a feather, flock together”.

用了名言啊什么的，很好！观点什么的没啥问题。就是需要注意一下词语的搭配和使用，然后开头稍微简单点点，加油！

恶鸟终于开始写作文了。还有十天，希望大家拍砖！辛苦了！~

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