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[作文互改] GRE issue 85.... 求拍

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楼主
发表于 2012-10-7 20:59:36 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
11号考。。。求拍。。30分钟 读题+写。。。  人生第一篇GRE issue...
Some people believe that in order to thrive, a society must put its own overall success before the well-being of its individual citizens. Others believe that the well-being of a society can only be measured by the general welfare of all its people.


In this issue, the author points out that some people hold the belief that a prosperous society is based on its overall success which is before the well-being of its people, while others contend that the well-being of a society can only be regarded by the overall welfare of all its citizens. Looking around the world, how many countries are there can be viewed as an overall thrived one? Only a few. Except a few countries in the Northern Europe, none of the countries in the world can be regarded an overly thrived country.

May be it is true that a society should put its own overall success before the well-being of its individual citizens, however, in my opinion, things are different. Looking back through the history, countries pursued thriving without considering the well-being of their citizens were all crushed down. For instance, Soviet Union, a country which is highly centered in power, its leader tried to expand its territory so that he commend his army to invade countries such as Afghanistan for some certain excuses. Despite of the invasion, Soviet Union was also fanatic in competing with the United States for weapons such as nuclear armors. However, people in Soviet Union suffered a lot at home. Most of them could not have food, clothes and other necessities. For the only extent, the bankruptcy of this country is with no doubt. A thrived country, for certain extent, diffused into several countries.

For others who believe that social thriving is based the overall well-being of its people, I mostly agree with them. A country is formed by people who live together in a certain region. According to this definition, people or citizen should be priority in this society. A government should no matter what makes the welfare better for its people. Sweden is the country that has the best welfare for its people in the world. A thrived country must try its best to eliminate the pooverty within it citizens.

Nonetheless, overemphasizing its social welfare will weaken its physical power, at best, the power of defense.

Hence, in order to thrive, a country should not only focus on its welfare of people but the power of its national defense.
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沙发
发表于 2012-10-7 21:38:34 | 只看该作者
maybe,you have seen your problem.
限时的效果还是不太好的,总的来说内容少了,中间只有两段内容在谈实质问题,前面两段其实只相当于开头。在这种两种看似矛盾实质联系紧密的因素的文章中,你谈论不仅是各自的重要性,还有相互的关系和重要性,才能体现出你的真正思辨能力。比如这篇文章,国家的整体成就和个人福利,再比如竞争与合作等等
板凳
发表于 2012-10-7 21:39:30 | 只看该作者
关于文章的结果啥的,建议还是仔细反复读读OG上的范文,我觉得是每次读都会有新的体会的,尤其是刚入手的时候
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-10-7 21:50:15 | 只看该作者
谢谢! ~T T~  哎。。从开始准备到后天考试。。才1个多月。。而且多数时间又都贡献给了verbal。。 11号就考了 今天才正正规规的练习一篇。。 肿么办
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-10-7 21:52:51 | 只看该作者
maybe,you have seen your problem.
限时的效果还是不太好的,总的来说内容少了,中间只有两段内容在谈实质问题,前面两段其实只相当于开头。在这种两种看似矛盾实质联系紧密的因素的文章中,你谈论不仅是各自的重要性,还有相互的关系和重要性,才能体现出你的真正思辨能力。比如这篇文章,国家的整体成就和个人福利,再比如竞争与合作等等
-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/10/7 21:38:34)




谢谢! ~T T~ 哎。。从开始准备到后天考试。。才1个多月。。而且多数时间又都贡献给了verbal。。 11号就考了 今天才正正规规的练习一篇。。 肿么办
6#
发表于 2012-10-7 21:57:24 | 只看该作者
接着写吧,死马当活马医,本身你的意识里面就没重视作文
7#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-10-7 22:22:08 | 只看该作者
接着写吧,死马当活马医,本身你的意识里面就没重视作文
-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/10/7 21:57:24)



好滴!谢谢。。  那再请问版主。。这个要是给分能给到多少。。。
8#
发表于 2012-10-7 22:30:18 | 只看该作者
2-2.5吧,个人意见
9#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-10-7 22:31:32 | 只看该作者
2-2.5吧,个人意见
-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/10/7 22:30:18)



谢谢! 我多去看看范文!
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