[求助]请求大家帮忙修改这个文章◆◆◆TWE165 ◆◆◆

Across · 发表于 2004-10-26 03:36:00

You have decided to give several hours of your time each month to improve the community where you live. What is one thing you will do to improve your community? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.

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Volunteering a few hours each week to some community activity is an important way of investing in the future of our society. I chose to spend my time working with elementary school children helping them to learn to read. Developing good reading skills will help these students keep up with their classmates, open new worlds to them, and help them succeed in life.

Students who are not good readers cannot keep up with their studies. They will not understand the lessons; they will come to school unprepared; they will not be able to perform. By learning to read, students will be on equal footing with their classmates. They will be active participants in class.

Books on different lifestyles, occupations, cultures, or governments will open new doors to students. Students who can not read will only know what they see around them. Students who can read will be able to travel to new worlds and experience new ideas without ever leaving their classrooms.

Today, a person who can not read is severely handicapped. A non-reader will have to work at the most menial jobs. Readers, especially good readers, have the whole universe open to them. They will have the possibility to learn any job that interests them.

By volunteering to help an elementary school child learn to read, I am helping him or her not only today, but for the rest of his or her life. I am helping them keep pace with their peers and explore the world and themselves through books.

joe11 · 发表于 2004-11-2 03:51:00

1. It doesn't read like Pumpin's work.

2. A modified draft for the 1st paragraph.

Volunteering [To volunteer] a few hours each week to some community activity is an important way of investing [to invest]in the future of our society. I chose to spend my time working with elementary school children helping them to learn to read. [to help them improving their reading skills.] Developing good reading skills will [not only] help these students [ assist those kids struggling in reading] keep up with their classmates, [but also] open [up] new worlds to them, and help them succeed in [their later] life. [The significance of reading skills should not be underestimated in my community.]

soaring · 发表于 2004-11-2 16:17:00

TWE155的，师兄

贴出来让大家改改的

谢谢~~~

[求助]请求大家帮忙修改这个文章◆◆◆TWE165 ◆◆◆

[求助]请求大家帮忙修改这个文章◆◆◆TWE165 ◆◆◆

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

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