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[作文互改] ISSUE 9 , 上次经竹林大神指点感觉收获颇丰,这次这篇也请大神再拍。。。谢谢啦

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楼主
发表于 2012-8-21 23:26:55 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
In any field of endeavor, it is impossible to make a significant Issue sketchlee contribution without first being strongly influenced by past achievementswithin that field.


As the students , we are always learning the knowledge through the books which is provided by the past scholars . While , is it impossible for us to make a significant contribution without the strongly influence of the past achievement ? I concede that the past achievements are the very important foundation , however , personally speaking , I still think that without the past achievements , we still can make the breakthrough in some new fields . Even sometimes , the past achievements will be the obstacle of the new development .

Admittedly , the past achievements are very important for us , just like the development of the human race ,we are constantly learning and creating . As the learning part , the past knowledgeis the foundation . And as that basis , we are making the things better and better than before . Newton claimedthat: If I have seen farther than others, that is because I stand on the shoulders of a giant., and for example , just like his systematic laws of the physics is with the help by the prior physicists . So we cannot deny the importance of the past achievements for us .
However , as a matter of the fact that some breakthroughs in many fields were made without influence by past achievements then start a new period . And we can see that there are various fields around our lives . While how these fields come out and what are the past achievements service for them ? Just like the plane , before the plane was created ,there were no foundations , while there was just a thought , why the humans cannot fly . Then the Wright brothers started devising the plane and trying it again and again . Finally , the first plane was come out . So we can see that a lot of the great fields were created by themselves .

In addition , sometimes the past knowledge will be the obstacle on the way of the development rather than the foundation . People usually follow the established theories rather than challenge them . However , a lot of the great successes are achieved by making the breakthrough in the old fields . For example , the king of kungfu Bruce Li , when he was young ,he was restricted by the traditional kungfu . In the traditional kungfu , the main attacking fist should be in the back that will allow you enough space to make your fist more powerful while as everybody knows that Li is small in size , although he also put his main fist in the back , he usually have no advantage when he fought with the big guys . After some failures, he realized that his advantage is the speed rather than the power . Then he began to put his main attacking fist in the front , and he can be more speed by the short distance . After he made the great breakthrough , he achieved the big success by his amazing speed then he set up his own genre named Jeet Kune Do . It is true that the established fields must be reasonable but them may not be utter . We should not unconditionally followed the old ideals , sometimes them will be the obstacles on the way to success .
In sum , although the past achievements can provide people the good condition to develop , I still think we can create the new fields without the old ideals ,and if we cannot get a clear understanding of the past achievements , these old ideals may be the obstacle of us .
 上次你说我在举例之前对观点的分析不够,这次这个问题应该还好了吧,然后我这种写法还有没有什么大的毛病。。。语言简单我也是无能为力了,马上就要考了,只要把大的不足的地方改正一下就行了,我AW也只求3分,这次也请竹林大神再次指点小弟一二,万分感谢
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沙发
发表于 2012-8-22 08:51:10 | 只看该作者
As the students , we are always learning the knowledge through the books which is provided by the past scholars .

注意搭配:books...is....
板凳
发表于 2012-8-22 10:04:19 | 只看该作者
嗯,有很大进步了,坚持在写几篇,熟练这整个套路
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-22 12:09:19 | 只看该作者
恩   谢谢普渡哥   这些小细节我再细心点
5#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-22 12:10:15 | 只看该作者
恩    太谢谢你了   竹林哥       我再多练练争取能得3分
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