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A92
Workers in the small town of Leeville take fewer sick days than workers in the large city of Masonton, 50 miles away. Moreover, relative to population size, the diagnosis of stress-related illness is proportionally much lower in Leeville than in Masonton. According to the Leeville Chamber of Commerce, these facts can be attributed to the health benefits of the relatively relaxed pace of life in Leeville. (Workers in the small town of Leeville take fewer sick days than workers in the large city of Masonton, 50 miles away. Moreover, relative to population size, the diagnosis of stress-related illness is proportionally much lower in Leeville than in Masonton. According to the Leeville Chamber of Commerce, these facts can be attributed to the health benefits of the relatively relaxed pace of life in Leeville. (alternative explanations)
1、对比调查不科学
2、忽略他因（只写了一点，貌似有点不充分？）
3、错误等同，即病假天数少、确诊精神疾病的少≠身心健康（其实觉得这部分也可以算是忽略他因吧....好混乱...囧）
In the argument, the Leeville Chamber of Commerce indicates that the life pace in Leeville is relatively relaxed, and which lead to fewer sick days workers take and lower diagnosis rate of stress-related illness. To justify that, the arguer based the conclusion on the comparison of between the small town of Leeville and the large city, Masonton. However reasonable the deduction looks at first glance, its supporting evidences suffer from some logical flaws, and can be explained by various perspectives, which render the conclusion invalid as it stands.
A threshold problem with the argument is that the arguer assumes the comparison of Leeville and Masonton, on which the whole reasoning based, is scientific. As detailed information such as source, procedure and statistics are absent in the argument, it is quite reasonable for us to cast doubt on it and the subsequent conclusion. It is entirely possible the cited comparison is conducted by some unprofessional people and comes from entertainment magazines. Or perhaps, the participants of the research share the same career, which means the representative and the randomness of the sample is problematic. Without ruling out these and other possibilities, the comparison lends no support to the argument.
Moreover, the arguer commits a logical mistake of causal oversimplification by overlooking other likely factors. While the life pace is a crucial element influence the rate of sick leave and stress-related illness, environmental factors may also play a great role in it, weather for instance. People in Masonton may live with cloud and rain all year long, while in Leeville, people enjoy the pleasant sunshine every day, which make Masontoners, rather than Leevilleers much easier to get sick both physically and mentally. Thus, in order to better evaluate the comparison between Leeville and Masonton, more background information is in need.
Even if the foregoing things the arguer claimed can all be substantiated, the argument remains unconvincing in my view, since the arguer unfairly equate sick days with sick time, also the diagnosis rate with the actual sick number of stress-related illness. In all likelihood sick leave is just an excuse for workers who get something private to deal with, such as visit a parent in jail or calm an angry girlfriend, which they do not want to tell others, especially employers. On the other hand, it is highly possible that the true reason for Leeville’s lower diagnosis rate of stress-related illness is the absence of awareness. In other words, many Leevillers may be suffering from such illness, but they have not noticed that, and have never thought about going for a doctor. Additionally, another explanation can also make sense. Opposite to arguer’s assertion, maybe it is the fast life pace and competitive environment that make the workers in Leeville too busy to take sick days and go for a psychologist. In those cases above, fewer sick days and diagnosis of stress-related illness do not necessarily resulted from healthy habits of relaxed life pace, but determined by various factors.
To sum up, the argument that the lower rate of sick leave and stress-related illness in Leeville than Masonton is caused by the relatively relaxed life pace is unpersuasive, as it stands. To strengthen it, the arguer should conduct a comprehensive comparison between the two places and provide more clear and solid evidences involving the environment, people’s attitudes toward personal privacy and mental health. Finally, it will lend more credibility to the argument if the arguer bases his or her deeper research and analysis on some typical interviews with residents of both Leeville and Masonton.
第一次写alternative explanations 类的，看了置顶的instruction指导贴，还是无比凌乱，似乎不管怎么写都会涉及到explanation，但又总觉得找不到特别突出explanation的套路，还是说这一类的可以无视instruction，直接写啊？....马上就要考试的娃跪求各位看官狠拍 + 指点迷津！！ |
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发表于 2012-8-10 22:45:29
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