5.19 独立

qianjun06 · 发表于 2013-5-19 21:20:44

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

People who have developed many different kinds of skills are more successful than people who focus on only one skill.

In recent years, there is a public controversy whether having the abilities of various skills can contribute to an easier access to success. Those who criticize the issue argue that mastering one skill will help people more focus on simple field. However, some other people are in support of this notion. Contrary to the opinion of the former is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that diversified skills will lead to success more approachably.

To start with, owning sorted skills will greatly increase the possibility of chance in finding a decent job. In contemporary society, a multitude of people are increasingly aware of the fundamentality of decent jobs, so as to enjoying a successful career. In order to gain a decent jobs, not only need we have a bachelor diploma, it is crucial for individuals to take part in various kinds of educational courses to mask different sorts of skills, as skills and success are intrinsically connected. The more skills a person obtains, the easier access he or she will secure to the success. It takes an example of my father, he owns both the lawyer license and accounting one. He has the ability deal with the economic cases more professionally than any other fellow who does not own the both. Thus, on no account can we ignore the value of a decent job.

In addition, the access to the different fields due to various skills can offers more opportunities to one's success, and people can be more mature and have more abilities to cope with some dilemmas. Contacting with different kinds of works will create and broad our knowledge, and we could combine different knowledge in separate industries together to advance the success. For instance, I owns the skill of maintaining large-scale machine. Not only could I repair the apparatus in the laboratory by myself, but also I could save more time to be engaged in the experiment and be more familiar with the machine and working principle, leading to the invention of a evolutional machine. Therefore, we cannot ignore the importance of the various working experiences.

When people deem it is favorable to master more than a skill, isn't it essential that obtaining more skills will gives us consideration to the negative points? For one thing, more time will be consumed to learn different kinds of skills, which will make us no more time to be devoted to our real research. For another, if a person owns various skills, he will be abstracted from different kinds of works. Even worse, he will not to be an expert in any of the field which he own a particular skill.

Considerable though the disadvantages that diversified skills brings about are, they cannot compete with the merits that attaining the skills results in, when decent jobs and various working experiences are taken into consideration.

ycyangyang · 发表于 2013-5-20 22:27:43

黄色高亮是亮点，红色是我觉得有点问题的地方。
In recent years, there is a public controversy whether having the abilities of various skills can contribute to an easier access to success. Those who criticize the issue argue that mastering one skill will help people more focus on simple field. However, some other people are in support of（in favor of）(in support of前面用be动词的少) this notion. Contrary to the opinion of the former is my heartfelt agreement with（of?） the idea that diversified skills will lead to success more approachably(这个词好像错了).

To start with, owning sorted skills will greatly increase the possibility of chance in finding a decent job. In contemporary society, a multitude of people are increasingly aware of the fundamentality of decent jobs, so as to enjoying a successful career. In order to gain a decent jobs, not only need we have a bachelor diploma, it is crucial for individuals to take part in various kinds of educational courses to mask different sorts of skills, as skills and success are intrinsically connected. The more skills a person obtains, the easier access he or she will secure to the success. It takes an example of my father, he owns both the lawyer license and accounting one. He has the ability （to） deal with the economic cases more professionally than any other fellow who does not own the both. Thus, on no account can we ignore the value of a decent job.

In addition, the access to the different fields due to various skills can offers more opportunities to one's success, and people can be more mature and have more abilities to cope with some dilemmas. Contacting with different kinds of works will create and broad our knowledge, and we could combine different knowledge in separate industries together to advance the success. For instance, I owns the skill of maintaining large-scale machine. Not only could I repair the apparatus in the laboratory by myself, but also I could save more time to be engaged in the experiment and be more familiar with the machine and working principle, leading to the invention of a evolutional machine. Therefore, we cannot ignore the importance of the various working experiences.(举得例子有很好说明观点麽····)

When people deem it is favorable to master more than a skill, isn't it essential that obtaining more skills will gives us consideration to the negative points? For one thing, more time will be consumed to learn different kinds of skills, which will make us no more time to be devoted to our real research. For another, if a person owns various skills, he will be abstracted from different kinds of works. Even worse, he will not to be an expert in any of the field which he own a particular skill.

我觉得整篇文章水平很高！只是长句子偏多好像不够错落有致·····有点疲劳

qianjun06 · 发表于 2013-5-22 20:30:14

5.22 独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Government should support scientific research even the research has no practical use.

In recent years, there is a public controversy whether government should support the scientific research even the research has no practical use. Those who criticize the belief argue that money should be spent on useful items. However, some people are in favor of this notion. Contrary to the former opinion is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that government should sponsor scientists regardless of the practical use.

To begin with, scientific products greatly increase our life's quality and form a convenient and efficient life. The development of science and technology has always accompanied with the progress of the society. The invention of the steam engine brought a new era of thrift of world economy. The employment electricity has multiplied the productivity and virtually reproduced limited resourced on the earth. While sometimes the progress of science and technology, for example, technology of human cloning, causes troubles or dilemmas, it seems undeniable that in a broad sense, the development of science has provided people a much higher standard of living that that of its counterpart in any phrase of history. Therefore, no on account can we ignore the importance of the science and technology.

In addition, the success of the scientific researches can contribute to the savings on some other fields, although great sums of money will be expended on various sorts of scientific projects. In contemporary society, a multitude of nations are increasing aware of the fundamentality of the integral cost, so as to enjoy a cost-less and friendly environment strategy. In order to possess a more efficient and cheaper plan, not only need a governor speculate a certain program, it is crucial for the government to contemplate its overall effect. It takes an example of Japan, though the highways may cost amounts of money to establish and to maintain, they will save more times and cut down the cost of transportation. Thus, we cannot emphasize the essence of integral value too much.

When people deem it is favorable to donate efforts and money on scientific researches, isn't it necessary that they give us some consideration to the disadvantages they cause? For one thing, our medical service should take the top priority, and on money will be left to sponsor the researches. For another, more humans will die result from the scientific items on the war when it the nuclear weapons are exposed.

Considerable though the negative points that scientific researches result in are, they cannot compete with the merits that devoting to the science brings about, when the outcomes of the advanced skills and integral values are taken into consideration.

sunchou · 发表于 2013-5-23 18:48:40

5月22日独立修改

In recent years, there is a public controversy whether government should support the scientific research even the research has no practical use. Those who criticize the belief argue that money should be spent on useful items. However, some people are in favor of this notion. Contrary to the former opinion is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that government should sponsor scientists regardless of the practical use.

To begin with, scientific products greatly increase our life's quality and form a convenient and efficient life. The development of science and technology has always accompanied with the progress of the（去掉） society. The invention of the steam engine brought a new era of thrift（thrift是节俭的意思吗？那这里怎么理解？） of world economy. The employment of electricity has multiplied the productivity and virtually reproduced limited resourced（resources） on the earth. While sometimes the progress of science and technology, for example, technology of human cloning, causes troubles or dilemmas, it seems undeniable that in a broad sense, the development of science has provided people a much higher standard of living that（than） that of its counterpart in any phrase of history. Therefore, no on account can we ignore the importance of the science and technology.

In addition, the success of the scientific researches can contribute to the savings on some other fields, although great sums of money will be expended on various sorts of scientific projects. In contemporary society, a multitude of nations are increasing aware（awareness） of the fundamentality of the integral cost, so as to enjoy a cost-less and friendly environment strategy. In order to possess a more efficient and cheaper plan, not only need a governor speculate a certain program, it is crucial for the government to contemplate its overall effect. It takes an example of Japan（举例可以这样用吗？）, though the highways may cost amounts of money to establish and to maintain, they will save more times and cut down the cost of transportation. Thus, we cannot emphasize the essence of integral value too much.

When people deem it is favorable to donate efforts and money on scientific researches, isn't it necessary that they give us some consideration to the disadvantages they cause? For one thing, our medical service should take the top priority, and on money will be left to sponsor the researches. For another, more humans will die result（resulting） from the scientific items on the war when it（去掉） the nuclear weapons are exposed.

Considerable though the negative points that scientific researches result in are, they cannot compete with the merits that devoting to the science brings about, when the outcomes of the advanced skills and integral values are taken into consideration.

总体上来说就是一个字：赞！
我需要向你学习很多呀，整个文章修文流畅，而且思路也严谨，句型和词汇都很丰富。少数错误都可能打错了。真的很不错，以后请多指教。

qianjun06 · 发表于 2013-5-27 17:52:10

5.27 独立

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Telephones are playing a more effective role than televisions in people’s life.

In the resent years, there is a public controversy whether telephones are playing a more effective role than televisions in people's life. Those who criticize the viewpoint argue that televisions affect us more than the telephones. However, some other people are in support of this notion. Contrary to the opinion of the former is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that telephones lay an essential role in our daily life.

To begin with, telephones greatly increase the convenience and efficiency of our life. The development of the science and technology has always accompanied the progress of the society. The invention of the E-business operated in one's own phone brings a new era of the thrifty of the world economy; the online surfing on the phones makes us obtain the latest news just clipping the button on the phone. Also, we can contact immediately when we are engaged in the emergent issues, while televisions is a passive media. We cannot send our information through the TV programs. It takes an example of my own, when my bank card was lost last year, I can just make a phone to the bank to cease the function of the card, whereas my money will be used by someone else. Therefore, on no account can we ignore the importance of the scientific advances of the telephones.

In addition, telephone provides us a powerful plat that we can communicate with our friend or our relatives at any time or at any location. In the contemporary society, a multitude of people are increasingly aware of the fundamentality of the communication, so as to enjoying a better life quality and mental health. In order to possess a healthy and wonderful life, not only need we to succeed in our work field, it is crucial for us to form the habit of communication with other by using the phones. For example, I am always frustrated with my studies, but I will consort my dilemmas to my best friends through the phones, while TV just makes some amusement programs, which cannot solve my real problems. Therefore, we cannot emphasis the value of the telephones too much.

When people deem it is favorable to utilize the telephones, isn't it necessary that it presents us some considerations to the negative points that telephones cause? For one thing, some fraud telephones are formed by the criminals, contributing to lots of loss for credulous persons. On the other, radioactive rays will be sent by the telephones, which will damage our brain by phoning for a long time.

Considerable though the disadvantages that telephones bring about are, they cannot competed with the merit that diversified functions of the telephones result in, when scientific advances and communications are taken into considerations.

qianjun06 · 发表于 2013-5-27 17:54:40

5.17 综合 TPO 5

The writer makes the point that there are three competing theories for the use of the Chaco. On the contrary, the lecturer demonstrates a contradictory idea that none of the theories is convincing.

To begin with, contrary to the believe in the passage that Chaco structures are purely residential, the professor says that though the structures looked like departments, they are not for living from the inside for the reason that there were not enough fire places for 100 families' cooking. They had just ten fire places. Therefore, the first reason provided in the reading text is refuted.

In addition, the author holds the view that Chaco structures were used to store food. In contrast, the speaker challenges the notion by stating that this reason is unsupported, because there was no trace of maize. If the place was prepared for storing, there will be big container or maize remains on the floor, but there was no such evidence. This directly casts doubt on its counterpart in the reading.

Last but not least, the reading material deems that the houses were used as ceremonial centers. On the other hand, the listening material presents a conflicting view that the sites maybe just a building site, since there were some other materials on the site, such as sands and stones. Pots may also be the trash, leaving by the building workers. Pots are not good evidence that Chaco was used to be ceremonial centers. Thus, the last hypothesis is unsound.

sherlock1992 · 发表于 2013-5-28 19:45:38

qianjun06 发表于 2013-5-27 17:52
5.27 独立 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Telephones are playing ...

In the resent years(In recent years), there is a public controversy concerning whether telephones are playing a more effective role than televisions in people's life. Those who criticize the viewpoint argue that televisions affect us more than the telephones. However, some other people are in support of this notion. Contrary to the opinion of the former is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that telephones lay an essential role in our daily life.

To begin with, telephones greatly increase the convenience and efficiency of our life. The development of the science and technology has always accompanied the progress of the society. The invention of the E-business operated in one's own phone brings a new era of the thrifty of the world economy; the online surfing on the phones makes us obtain the latest news just clipping the button on the phone. Also, we can contact(contact应该是及物吧） immediately when we are engaged in the emergent issues, while televisions is a passive media. We cannot send our information through the TV programs. It takes an example of my own, when my bank card was lost last year, I can just make a phone to the bank to cease the function of the card, whereas my money will be used by someone else. Therefore, on no account can we ignore the importance of the scientific advances of the telephones.

In addition, telephone provides us a powerful plat(platform) that we can communicate with our friend or our relatives at any time or at any location(这里如果要用location的话，应是Locations, 但总觉的places更恰当）. In the contemporary society, a multitude of people are increasingly aware of the fundamentality of the communication, so as to enjoying a better life quality and mental health. In order to possess a healthy and wonderful life, not only need we to succeed in our work field, it is crucial for us to form the habit of communication with other by using the phones. For example, I am always frustrated with my studies, but I will consort(结交，含贬义色彩，这里不太合适） my dilemmas to my best friends through the phones, while TV just makes some amusement programs(这句话中make似乎不太恰当）, which cannot solve my real problems. Therefore, we cannot emphasis the value of the telephones too much.

When people deem it is favorable to utilize the telephones, isn't it necessary that it presents us some considerations to the negative points that telephones cause? For one thing, some fraud telephones are formed by the criminals, contributing to(contribute to后接好的东西） lots of loss for credulous persons. On the other, radioactive rays will be sent by the telephones, which will damage our brain by phoning for a long time.(奇怪，这段怎么又开始写telephone的缺点了）

Considerable though the disadvantages that telephones bring about are, they cannot competed with the merit that diversified functions of the telephones result in, when scientific advances and communications are taken into considerations.(这段貌似看的不太懂。。。）

总结一下，个人感觉楼主某些搭配和用词不太地道，句子结构要么过于简单，要么有些小混乱。不过字数挺多。加油！

sherlock1992 · 发表于 2013-5-28 19:54:40

qianjun06 发表于 2013-5-27 17:54
5.17 综合 TPO 5

The writer makes the point that there are three competing theories fo ...

The writer makes the point that there are three competing theories for the use of the Chaco. On the contrary, the lecturer demonstrates a contradictory idea that none of the theories is convincing.

To begin with, contrary to the believe in the passage that Chaco structures are purely residential, the professor says that though the structures looked like departments, they are not for living from the inside for the reason that there were not enough fire places for 100 families' cooking. They had just ten fire places. Therefore, the first reason provided in the reading text is refuted.

In addition, the author holds the view that Chaco structures were used to store food. In contrast, the speaker challenges the notion by stating that this reason is unsupported, because there was no trace of maize. If the place was prepared for storing, there will be big container or maize remains on the floor, but there was no such evidence. This directly casts doubt on its counterpart in the reading.

Last, but not least, the reading material deems that the houses were used as ceremonial centers. On the other hand, the listening material presents a conflicting view that the sites maybe just a building site, since there were some other materials on the site, such as sands and stones. Pots may also be the trash, leaving by the building workers. Pots are not good evidence that Chaco was used to be ceremonial centers. Thus, the last hypothesis is unsound.

写的不错，如果在最后在总结一下全文就更好了。加油！

whom123 · 发表于 2013-5-28 20:51:09

求楼主改我的作文啊 .......不要这样连续两天写的作文都没人改 ...............

qianjun06 · 发表于 2013-5-29 20:57:16

5.29

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In the past young people are more depended on their parents in making decision. Today, young people are better able to

make decisions in their own lives.

In recent years, there is a public controversy whether young people are more depended on their parents when making decisions or not. Those who oppose this statement argue that parents play an essential role in the frustrated choice the their children face. However, some people are in favor of this notion. Contrary to the opinion of the former is my heartfelt believe that young people are more dependent now than at any other time in the history.

To begin with, technology advancements provide us an easier access to the explosive information, making us more flexible to consort to the network other than our parents. The development of science and technology has great improved accompanied the process of the society, which is absolutely different from that in which our parents live. The invention of the Internet brought a new era of thrift of the world information; the innovation of the computer technologies has made the Earth a litter village and connected distant countries as a single market. It takes an example of my own, the first step I will take is just clip the mouse and input the critical words on the browser box when I meet with some dilemmas. Then many optional answers will be obtain immediately to select by myself. Therefore, on no account can we ignore the importance of the value scientific improvements.

In addition, we have acquired more knowledge than our parents, that means, broaden knowledge makes us more intelligent and solve the issues more easily without the help of our parents. Education has replaced an empty mind with an open mind. Admittedly, we will have more powerful choices beneficial from our higher educations. For example, when I have no idea that how to repair my car, my parents even don't master the knowledge how to drive a car. In such circumstance, I will pick up the knowledge from a tour to the library for some reference on the maintain of the car. Thus, we ca not emphasis the knowledge we have obtained too much.

Last but not least, when we deem it is convenient to conquer the decision by our own, isn't it necessary that some advices from our parents are crucial and can protect us from making the mistakes again? For one thing, parents are our first teacher before we attend to schools. Their decisions are helpful when we have no ability to decide which way are true in our live. Whenever you are, whatever you what, we need a teacher like out parents. For another, taking parents as a mirror, we can consult with for what is wrong or right.

Though the advantages that taking the decisions sent by our parents brings about are, they cannot change the tendency that choosing the best way we will undergo results in, when the convenience by the scientific development and the our advanced knowledge are taken into consideration.

5.19 独立

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

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