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第一次写托福作文。。。求指导。。。13号就考了,好捉鸡。。。

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楼主
发表于 2012-10-10 20:17:10 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
There are many ways to to teach children responsibility.Some people think that children take care of animal is the best way of improving their responsibilty.I disagree.Maybe it is a good way,but at least not the best.Because this is long-term and complex work to look after animal.
 For the younger children.They are too young to take care of animal.First,they can not feed dogs or cats without parent’s help.For instance,they need to buy some foods and some washing material in supermarket,take the vaccination twice a year in the hospital and so on.It is too difficult for children to do this at their age of five or six.Second,with the development of technology,increasingly interesting toys or games produced.Children play this toys all the time in days.No matter what can distracts their attention from games,including hungry dogs or cats.Just like me,in my young age,my parents buy me the chicken,rabbits and some fishes.i don’t know how to take care of them but just play them.No animal survived in my “evil hands”,I was rather upset and felt guilty.Many lovely animals died because of lacking care.
 There is the same case with older children.In China,middle school or high school student have heavy load in their homework or another curricular activities.The main reason that they couldn’t take care of animal is that they have no time in this area.There are books without ending,they can not dominate their break time because of numerous classes.So,teaching responsibility in this way means nothing for older students.
 The best way for children to having responsibility is to do some sports.For example,playing football or basketball can teach them responsibility.In football games,there are different roles for players,centre forward responsible for score,goalkeeper protect their own door from score…Children take responsible for their own positions.Compared with taking care of animals,children feel more fun in football game and gain responsibilty as a result.
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沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2012-10-10 20:17:37 | 只看该作者
题目....The best way for parents to teach their children responsibility is to have them care for an animal.
板凳
发表于 2012-10-11 23:29:18 | 只看该作者
文章里面粗略地看看就有不少语法小错误 冠词 单复数 主谓一致……
希望楼主每次练习完自己查一下
另外 句式较简单 字数和内容有待充实
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