凡与不凡的作文，与大家共同进步！！

ft3098563 · 发表于 2012-2-28 20:06:49

Not until recent years, numerous high-techproducts spring up in the market, making us an easy access to enjoy thebenefits brought by the fast developing technology. However, when a new productfirst comes into markets, some people prefer to buy it immediately while otherschoose to use it when it is widely spread. Although buying the product as soonas it is available do has many advantages, I would rather purchase it untilmany people adopted it.
The new technological devices are alwaystoo expensive when they first come into the market, which is the first reason Ichoose to hesitate. Take cellphones for example, when a new designed cell phoneis first available in the market, there are more people to look at them ratherthan make actual purchase. Even though the cellphone usually are equipped withinnovation design or some fascinating functions, their price is too high to beafforded by most people. However, after several weeks or months, the price willfall to a more affordable level, and many similar designed products are alwaysavailable at the same time.
Moreover, do not buy the new technologicaldevices immediately will also leave us time to consider whether it is worth purchasingor not. If the new products exist someproblems, it will take time to show up these problems, therefore, wait untilmany people have adopted them sounds a wise choice, since it saves us a lot oftime to test the quality of the new technological devices. A suitable exampleis a new designed computer marketed by a famous company, which attracts a lotof consumers to buy them, however, most of the consumers regret after using itfor a short of time, because the computer proved to have some design problems,and have been recalled by the company.
Hence, even though some people still doubtthat there are many benefits to buy the new technologies devices, reasoningthat they can enjoy the high tech earlier than others, and will also win othersappreciation, I still prefer to buy the product until many people adopt them, though,because it is more safer and economic to enjoy it.

jiaosisisisi · 发表于 2012-2-28 20:29:18

2月27日Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more enjoyable to buy a new technological device when it becomes available than to wait until many people have owned it.
蓝色是我认为可能有问题的
红色是比较赞的
绿色是我的感后感

Not until recent years, numerous high-tech products spring up in the market, making us an easy access to enjoy 这里to 是介词，后面跟Ving ！the benefits brought by the fast developing technology. However, when a new product first comes into markets, some people prefer to buy it immediately while others choose to use it when it is widely spread. 不是物品被传播，而是主动关系！Although buying the product as soon as it is available do has （强调句子是do+动词原形！，感觉用一个程度副词会比do 更加好的，athough buying the product as soon as it is available indeed /obviously has ）many advantages, I would rather purchase it until many people adopted it.(提醒你一下，你这一个句子里面代词it用了好多遍，让人感觉有点puzzled,建议你多用一些花样来试试)

The new technological devices are always too expensive when they first come into the market, which is the first reason I choose to hesitate.（这个非限定定语从句有点勉强了，用一个名词性从句怎么样呢，My first reason is that XXXXXXXX,这样放在第一句的话，会不会比较开门见山点呢，，，，给个我的小总结经验，第一句，最好不要太多花样，尽量让人一次就可以看懂！）Take cellphones for example, （这句很亮的，突破了传统的for example，）when a new designed cell phone is first available in the market, there are more people to look at them rather than make actual purchase（这句表达很chinglish，there be 让你的句子主语的动作很难再表现得自然，建议可以去掉therebe,我觉得“,most people will wonder between buying one and just watching patiently. ”）. Even though the cellphone usually are (一般be动词在前，副词在后，are usually )equipped with innovation(innovative)design or some fascinating functions, their price is too high to be afforded by most people. (这个被动用的过于生硬，我觉得不如主动表达自然)However, after several weeks or months, the price will fall to a more affordable level, and many similar designed products are （前面用will，这里也要用相应时态比较符合情理）always available at the same time.

Moreover, do not buy the new technological devices immediately will also leave us time to consider whether it is worth purchasing or not. If the new products exist some problems, it will take time to show up these problems,（problems 和show up 是主动关系，建议it will take some time for these problems to show up） therefore, wait until many people (动词不能直接做主语，waiting比较好)have adopted them sounds a wise choice, since it saves us a lot of time to test the quality of the new technological devices. A suitable example is a new designed computer marketed by a famous company,（这句很亮）which attracts a lot of consumers to buy them, however, most of the consumers regret after using it for a short of time, because the computer proved to have some design problems, and have been recalled by the company.（这个recall 也很亮）
Hence, even though some people still doubt that there are many benefits to buy the new technologies devices,（觉得就用technological device比较不改变意思吧） reasoning that they can enjoy the high tech earlier than others, and will also win others appreciation, I still prefer to buy the product until many people adopt them, though,（这个though 跟because 在一起会不会有点绕口） because it is more safer and economic to enjoy it.

总结：
凡与不凡，好！咱们写这个文章之前是不是商量过啊啊~~~居然用的论据都是一样，而且例子都差不多，看来这个话题，确实不怎么好拓展！你的举例子take for example ， A suitable example 都比较赞，脱离了低级趣味的for example,整体结构很不错很完整！
美中不足:

Firstly，你下次可以再想一个凑够三个论点的，大趋势是五段论~~~
Secondly，而且你的代词it在一个长句子用得太多了，容易让人感觉指代不清楚，而且很拗口！
Thirdly，你的被动句子如果使用的话，就一定要简洁，如果不简洁的话，宁可用主动句子。
To sum up，整体很不错的，我发现的问题大致是这么多，希望你可以自己斟酌下，然后结合自己的感觉来把握以下，eventually，hope you can crack TOEFL succseefully !

ft3098563 · 发表于 2012-2-29 19:45:59

The question of what kind of friend shouldwe choose has long being a hot topic disputed by people for decades. Somepeople prefer to make friend with those funny guys, reasoning that friends arethe one who can bring you much joy and happiness. While others tend to choosethose who can give them a hand when they are in trouble, stating than a friendin need is friend indeed. Each side appears to have some sound reasons and willnot be easily persuaded by the other. However, as far as I am concerned I am morewilling to develop deep friendship with those who can help you without anyhesitate, especially you are in need.
Numerous people can share fun with you butonly few of them can really be your friends, that is the meaning of friend.Friends is not merely those who share jokes and funny things with you , nordoes those who have common interests and hobbies, friends are someone whoreally know us, who want to keep the close relationship regardless ourimperfection, and who will not hesitate to offer us a help even before we askfor. As E.W. Howe once said, “when a friends is in trouble, don’t annoy him byasking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and doit.” Only in this way, can the friendship between us last for a long time andbe remembered permanently.
Moreover, friends are someone we can counton no matter what situation we are in. those who can only share happiness withus but turn down to offer any kind of help when heard we have trapped indifficulties can hardly call a “friend”. For example, when you encounter someproblems and really need someone’s help, you have suddenly found that yourprevious friends who you think your relationship is quite close avoid beingcontacted you anymore, and those you think you are ordinary friends offer you anecessary help. Therefore, I bet you will reconsider your friends’ relationshipwith you.
Hence, even though there is someone stilldoubt that the friend should bring us much joy and fun, because the person whohave similar interests and hobbies could probably become friends of each other,I still think that only time can tell you whether the friendship can lastlonger.

noarkid · 发表于 2012-2-29 21:22:52

It is more important to choose friends that could have fun with than to choose friends that will help you when you are in need
The question of what kind of friend should we choose has long being a hot topic disputed by people for decades. Some people prefer to make friend with those funny guys, reasoning that friends are the one who can bring you much joy and happiness. While others tend to choose those who can give them a hand when they are in trouble, stating than a friend in need is friend indeed. Each side appears to have some sound reasons and will not be easily persuaded by the other. However, as far as I am concerned I am more willing to develop deep friendship with those who can help you without any hesitate, especially you are in need.
Numerous people can share fun with you but only few of them can really be your friends, that is the meaning of friend. Friends is not merely those who share jokes and funny things with you , nor does those who have common interests and hobbies, friends are someone who really know us, who want to keep the close relationship regardless our imperfection, and who will not hesitate to offer us a help even before we ask for. As E.W. Howe once said, “when a friends is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and doit.” Only in this way, can the friendship between us last for a long time and be remembered permanently.

Moreover, friends are someone we can count on no matter what situation we are in. those who can only share happiness with us but turn down to offer any kind of help when heard we have trapped in difficulties can hardly call a “friend”. For example, when you encounter some problems and really need someone’s help, you have suddenly found that your previous friends who you think your relationship is quite close avoid being contacted you anymore, and those you think you are ordinary friends offer you a necessary help.(这句话很长，但是好像不适合做这一段的例子) Therefore, I bet you will reconsider your friends’ relationship with you.（them）

Hence, even though there is someone still doubt that the friend should bring us much joy and fun, because the person who have similar interests and hobbies could probably become friends of each other,I still think that only time can tell you whether the friendship can last longer.（这句话感觉逻辑上有点奇怪，即使有的人认为朋友应该有乐趣，但是我还是觉得时间能告诉你友谊是否长久？）

凡与不凡的作文，与大家共同进步！！

It is more important to choose friends that could have fun with than to choose f

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