第一次写independent writing..求指点修改！谢谢！

wjy91928 · 发表于 2010-10-5 21:44:58

今天第一次写作文。。。真的是不太会。。请各路大侠帮我看看。。我是个什么水平。。

哪些方面需要提高，可以如何提高？？谢谢

我觉得我写得特别口语化....词汇量也很不够。。求大家帮忙看看啦

题目原文没有了，意思是说：说说你和你父母的生活有什么相似处和区别，你觉得future generation更适合哪种生活？

My life and that of my parents do share a lot of similarities. I grew up with my parents until I finished high school, and after that I left home and went to university alone. Therefore it is easily understandable that many of my principles of living and habits are inherited from my parents.
For instance, my father and mother both enjoy badminton and jogging. They believe that exercising regularly and having a healthy body is more valuable than any other fortunes one may have. Since I was a little kid, I started to follow them and play sports regularly. I have been keeping this habit until now, even if I have left them for more than three years. Of course, this is only one example of the many aspects of my life that resemble the life of my parents. My eating preferences, study methods and even sleeping patterns are more or less affected by them.
Nevertheless, my life is not a exact duplicate of my parents'. The most signifcant difference in our ways of life can be discovered in the acceptance and use of modern technology. While my parents are still reading newspapers and watching televisions for news updates, I am already spending a majority of my day time playing with computers. While my parents still spend more than an hour to go to the city bookstore miles away, I am already enjoying the speed and comfort of ordering books online and having them direcly delivered to my dormitory. Different from my parents' life, my current life is combined with all these kinds of modern tools and technologies. Yet I truely understand that as parents age, they tend to be slow in accepting new concepts and would prefer to stick to their traditional way of living. However for future generations, I think my way of life would be more satisfying, not only because it is a prevalent trend, but also because utilizing new technologies would make life much more convenient and efficient.

第一次写independent writing..求指点修改！谢谢！

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

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