求作文指导

今天晚上写了个作文,求各位大虾指导下,有哪些地方需要改正,有哪些词可以用得更好些,怎样写可以更好些. 我感觉我词穷得很,同义转换用起来有局限,但是这个又很重要,可是没时间啃单词了.

帮忙指导下,先谢谢了!

这是185题库里的第185个题目.

题目是: You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice.

If I have enough money I would like to purchase a house instead of a business. I dreamt to have my own house when the day I was employed for my first job. A house can satisfy me both on emotional and rational way.

A house can give comfort to me. Just imagine, after a whole day’s hard working and when you step out from the office building with your tired body, where do you want to go and what do you want to do? Isn’t a big and warm house of your self? In the house, you cook yourself a wonderful meal, take a fabulous bath, and then throw your body into the bed. Good night! In the morning, when you open your eyes, the most beautiful thing is that you find the big and marvelous house you are in is your house. How nice! In the weekend, you and your family sit around the coach, watch TV or chat with each other, how comfortable!

The decision is not only because of emotional motivation, it is also a rational action. Nowadays, house is more a firm asset than a place could protect you from raining, or a place for sleeping. It can bring you huge profit, for example, you can rent the house to other peoples, and then collect rent from them every month, so depends on these renting you could even stop the boring routine work you are taking now, or you can keep the house for several years, and then sell it out, it will take you increasing value even times than the cost you pay for it.

Nowadays, a house means a lot of improvement to a person’s life, especially a big and luxury house. Instead, a business may take you a lot of trouble if you are not shrewd enough. So why not choose a thing can give you luck and happiness?

自己先发现有错别字,本来是想说沙发(couch)结果写成了四轮大马车（coach),还是单词不过关．