[求助]TWE104 5.31考试 刚写了第一篇作文求拍 谢谢大家

104. It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society. Which type of contribution do you think is valued more by your society? Give specific reasons to support your answer.

   It appears, a controversial issue has caused public's concern that who make more contributions to the society , arttists or scientists? Depending on personal value systems and individual experiences, different people will give a diverse of answers. From my point of view, I agree with the statement that sicentists contribute to the society more effectively, which has several reasons as follows.

   To begin with ,I believe  that scientists have made considerable accomplishments to the society in the industry and economy field. As it known, the invention of engine and steam opened the door of industrialization. Meanwhile, the occurrence of Internet is a symbol of  Information Era, and both techniques and products scientists concieved and designed change people's lives. To a large extent, it prompts the development of public living condition and gross domestic  products. As a result ,the society can provide more and more worke places suitable for the lay-out ones.All the accomplishment achieved above can substantially attribute to the sicentists' efforts, without them , the prosperity of modern society cannot perform.

   In addition, another compelling factor can’t be neglected that scientists have dedicated themselves to the research fields ,days and nights ,trigging the human society more close to the natural and outside world.A good case in point is that, nowadays, we can easily use the telescope to watch the appearances and images of Mars, Jupiter,and many planets else  ,which is unbelievable in severals centuaries ago. This specimen can  obviously leads to the reasonable assertion that scientists play a more important role to the society.

   However , I don’t want to overstate the scientists’ merits , though the artists have their comparable advantages . Firstly, novels , prose and ballets ,which artists provide the public with , developing the people’s temperament and cultivating the aesthetic identification. Meanwhile ,  some artists do a lot of benevolent things to the society.

    In the final analysis, the issue we discussed today is complex, requiring objective speculation. Tough artists contribute a lot to the society, the majority of scientists set good examples for the juvenile in the society, inspiring them to learn comprehensively and pursue their own success.From all the aspects discussed above, we can draw the conclusion that scientists contribute more than artist.

..different people will give a diverse of answers...   diverse is abj.   改为 give diverse answers.

Firstly, novels , prose and ballets ,which artists provide the public with , developing the people’s temperament and cultivating the aesthetic identification. 改为develop

最后的artist 改为复数吧~

我水平有限也就看出了这么点错误。感觉有些词好像不地道~不也不肯定哦！