[求助]3.2 的托福考试。请大家帮忙改改阿~

急啊。各位帮忙改改。

看了一下

Since great changes have taken places in our society, distant learning and online computer classes become more and more popular. Though these high technology methods of education is very convinent for those who are not able to stay in classroom to have classes, I do strongly disagree that distance learning and online computer classes should not replace classroom learning for the following reasons.
    First and foremost, classroom learning is more vivid than any other forms of teaching. There will be a real teacher who tells students things that students have no idea about and the teacher may also ask a few questions to know whether the students have understood the knowledge or not. （太长了 导致语义不清）Even though a teacher might make a few mistakes such as writing a wrong letter or saying a wrong word, studing （可以用study它也是个名词）in a classroom do make people understand more easily.（其实我觉得可以直接说更易理解而不需要加上 他们出错之类的 因为你没有对比过远程教育。。。逻辑的问题 不过考试时候确实难想周全） To come to a conclusion, classroom learning is the most vivid method.
    In addition, classroom learning can help people remember things for a long time and it can also contributes to beautiful hand writing. Since people cannot remember everything that have been learnt, taking notes is exceedingly important. Distance learning and online computer classes are often offered by computer or a video attributing to which people cannot note all the contents. （长句语意不清 还不如分成2 个短句好）This will not happen in a classroom. People can ask the teacher to stop for a while if they cannot follow what the teacher is talking about. （咋就突然一转到问问题了？不是在说remember things and take notes 么？）Writing frequently can lead hand writing skill be improved quickly as well.
    Last but not least, distance learning and online computer classes are not good for our physical health. Staying in front of a computer or television will make our eyes as well as legs hurt. Computers also make loud noises which is harmful to our brain and make people get headache.
    To sum up, classroom learning should not be replaced because it is more vivid, helpful and much healthier.

全文没什么拼写错误  观点比较清晰 第一段介绍的不错 但是最后一段只有一句话是不是也太少了点？ 中间论述所用的大部分语句比较流畅有个别长句 不是很好。 要想得高分的话 词汇还要高级一点。 还有就是写的时候不要认为考官和你心心相通，有些论述比较跳跃 在斟酌一下。

申明 我是一个小菜 自己作文也写得不好  以上评论 仅限参考！祝你考个好成绩！