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写好作文的十大原则
1. Avoid repetition. "Don't trouble troubles until trouble troubles you" is classic and grammatically correct. But "Don't invite troubles until they impose themselve on you" would sound more essay-friendly.
2. Avoid slangs. Sometimes, it is neccessary to swear to make a point [pun intended], but you don't need so many points in TWE. 6 is enough.
3. Don't try the expressions and idioms if you are not certain about their meaning and usage. Don't translate word by word from your mother tongue into English either. Many Vietnamese believe that since you can 'make tea' and 'make coffee', you can 'make water' just as well.
4. Don't misunderstand the topic. Your girlfriend is so beautiful and sexy that you can never give her up. That's definitely a thrilling fact. But it has nothing to do with the reasons you support the expression "never, never give up!"
5. Digressing from the main topic is as bad as misunderstanding it. It is, indeed, hard to keep from saying the tempting things at the wrong moment. You may come from discussing your preference in eating at home to bragging about how excellent a cook you are, which in turn explains why your wife is all dependent on you and doesn't bother to do any housework. That lead to endless rows between you two and your neighbours are badly affected by the din you make blah blah blah. This going off-topic not only reminds you of unpleasant memories, but also gets on the nerve of ETS readers, who likely digress from a good score you deserve to a less than desirable one.
6. Pay particular attention to commas and periods. Incorrect punctuations make your essay harder to follow and lower your score. Misplaced punctuatations may change the meaning of your sentence too. Just look at this "Woman, without her man, is nothing." and this "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
7. Lie through your teeth! Don't be shocked or even indignified. Feel free to lie about your age, your job, your taste, your hobbies etc. provided they serve to strengthen your arguments. Treat them as white lies in case your conscience twinges.
To be on the safe side, don't lie about the obvious or tell tall stories, such as you happend to be Madonna's out-of-wedlock child or the reason why Britney Spears broke up with Justin Timberlake etc.
8. Follow the standard format 'Introduction-Body-Conclusion'. It is easier to organize and develop your ideas. Metaphorically, a good introduction arouses your interest in a girl. Closer check at her body intensifies the good feeling. And a reminding conclusion confirms that this one is real good.
9. Shorten your sentences and make them more concise. Up to this moment you may find that the tip No 5 is a bit hard to follow because of long sentences. Avoid one-paragraph sentences. Even rivers have twists and turns. You need not overflow and... flood.
However, avoid the opposite also. Too short sentences like "I see her. I like her. I talk to her. We get along well. She comes home with me. I kiss her. I turn off the light...." [well, I'd better stop before it gets too dark] make your essay look everything but coherent and smooth.
10. Last but not least, if you may, spice up your essay with some humour or witty quotes. ETS readers may laugh so hard that they would neglect a couple of minor grammar mistakes you have probably made.
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