第三篇(第三段已重写13楼,盼德克再看看),请德克及大家拍拍

DO you agree or disagree with following statements, as modern world become more complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize.

Along with the development of an unprecedented speed, a multitude of objects and things are becoming so intricate that we fail to deal with most of things efficiently. Most of us will never success without the capability of planning and organizing. In the modern society, planning and organizing are playing a crucial part in our daily life. It is essential, from my perspective, to have the ability to plan and organize for young people.

For one thing,
   currently a wide diversity of complicated
    things are around me. And we have to arrange them orderly. If not, we can not complete neither of them. It will suffice to mention my own experience. Last month, we had a tremendous number of tasks to handle which were all arduous. At the beginning, facing so many complex things, I even did not know what I should do first. I was baffled. At that difficult time, my father encouraged me that only if everything is organized properly, can we finish them successfully. Then I planned them orderly in light of the importance of those things. After that, in term of the planning, these difficult things were all resolved by me in the duration of that month. Therefore, planning and organizing should be emphasized in the all respects of the life.

In addition, the capability to plan and organize is the basic skill for the young people. In the school, teachers value the capability and they invariably attempt to develop the ability of students. In the assignment, students are required to complete a paper. Consequently, a great deal of work, say, thinking out a subject, searching the related materials, writing the paper, revising it, need to be planned well. Therefore, it brings about many benefits to the young people via developing the ability of organizing and planning.

In conclusion, if young people want to attain accomplishment in the life, the capability of planning and organizing is an indispensable skill in the competition society which should be developed from their childhood.

不知有进步么...

今天晚上吧

第一段没什么大毛病   但第二段就多了 红色的是最明显的    首先我个人觉得语言还有待提高  如果是我 我会这么写
        

将您的原文
        For one thing, currently a wide diversity of complicated things are around me. And we have to arrange them orderly. If not, we can not complete neither of them. It will suffice to mention my own experience. Last month, we had a tremendous number of tasks to handle which were all arduous.明显例子太空洞  不知道说的是什么事 At the beginning, facing so many complex things, I even did not know what I should do first. I was baffled. At that difficult time, my father encouraged me that only if everything is organized properly, can we finish them successfully. Then I planned them orderly in light of the importance of those things. After that, in term of the planning, these difficult things were all resolved by me in the duration of that month. Therefore, planning and organizing should be emphasized in the all respects of the life.

改成  For on thing  , a much wider range of complicated tasks surround  us than ever before ,  requiring a comprehensive capacity of planing and organizing if we ever want to succeed in current competitive world .  Taking my own experience as a case in this point is probably sufficient to demonstrate the importance of this skill . Last month , me and my other two classmates had to finish a research paper and we were only given six days by our professor . At the first glance , this target seemed a little bit too far for us to reach , but we did not retreat .  Through careful planing and organizing , we firstly anatomised the paper , then diveided it into several parts , specified the job for each of us , and lastly completed the paper before the due time . It really excited us looking like we did somehting impossible , but the essence beneath this incidence is that planing and organzing played a enormous role in our success this time , from the very beginning to the final end . Thus , planing and organizing  is not only a skill we have to master in this rapiddly changing world , but also a quality we ought to possess for a better life and a more successful career .

好了 帮您改了一段了  花了我不少时间  希望您也帮我看一下我的作文  找Superboy2008 的帖子 记住是我自己改过的  前两份不算哦

值得看两遍   好好体会哦   希望您作文越写越棒     

改成  For on thing  , a much wider range of complicated tasks surround  us than ever before ,  requiring a comprehensive capacity of planing and organizing if we ever want to succeed in current competitive world .  Taking my own experience as a case in this point is probably sufficient to demonstrate the importance of this skill . Last month , me and my other two classmates had to finish a research paper and we were only given six days by our professor . At the first glance , this target seemed a little bit too far for us to reach , but we did not retreat .  Through careful planing and organizing , we firstly anatomised the paper , then diveided it into several parts , specified the job for each of us , and lastly completed the paper before the due time . It really excited us looking like we did somehting impossible , but the essence beneath this incidence is that planing and organzing played a enormous role in our success this time , from the very beginning to the final end . Thus , planing and organizing  is not only a skill we have to master in this rapiddly changing world , but also a quality we ought to possess for a better life and a more successful career .

好了 帮您改了一段了  花了我不少时间  希望您也帮我看一下我的作文  找Superboy2008 的帖子 记住是我自己改过的  前两份不算哦

值得看两遍   好好体会哦   希望您作文越写越棒     

谢谢LSD

等待德克指导

我的水准不会比德克差多少吧    我还想跟德克切磋切磋呢   

要不德克也改这段   看谁更强    

呵呵.谢谢LS的修改,正在研读呢.

想让德克看看自己有没有进步.

Along with the development of modern technologies at an unprecedented speed, a multitude of objects and things are becoming so intricate that we fail to deal with(cope with=deal with successfully) most of things efficiently. When facing the intricate stuff, most of us will never success without the capability of planning and organizing(你这一句来的过于的突然,和前面的联系不够紧密). Therefore, in the modern society, planning and organizing are playing a crucial role in our daily life and work. And it is essential, from my perspective, to have the ability to plan and organize for young people(英语将就句子和句子之间的承接关系.而你的句子和句子之间没有必然的逻辑,也缺少一些连接词.你需要用连接词来连接这些句子).

For one thing,
        currently a wide diversity
        of complicated
        things are around me(这里是me而后面是we,这样是不可以的,你应该改为us). And we have to arrange them orderly. If not, we can complete none of them. It will suffice to mention my own experience. Last month, we had a tremendous(改为formidable) number of perplexing tasks(What tasks?你要做到specific,就应该编造具体点,比如构建数学模型,完成问卷调查之类的) to handle which were all arduous. At the beginning, facing so many complex things(你需要写得更具体,what things?), I even did not know what I should do first. I was baffled. At that difficult time, my father encouraged(根据后面的内容,这里用encourage明显不合适,你可以说illuminate,启发) me via some words- only if everything is organized properly, can we(你前面一直用的I,这里怎么用we了?不要乱用代词!我最不喜欢的就是代词使用紊乱) finish them successfully. Then I planned them orderly in light of the importance of those things. After that, in term of(这里不应该用in term of,这个短语的意思是在…方面,你这里应该说thanks to) the planning, these difficult things were all resolved by me in the duration of that month. Therefore, planning and organizing should be emphasized in the all respects of the life.(你这个例子虽然是personal的,但是一点都不具体,是一个失败的例子.编的迹象太重了.你可以说你要做一个数学模型,数据之多,骇人听闻.这个时候你爸就启发你:分类做.你就分类做:现实数据统计,然后是构建模型,然后应用到实践中.最后,你竟然很好的完成了,噢也! 这样的例子才是具体生动的.)
            

In addition, the capability to plan and organize is the basic skill for the young people. In the school, teachers value the capability and they invariably attempt to develop the ability of students(why do teachers value?). In the assignment, students are required to complete a paper. Consequently, a great deal of work, say, thinking out a subject, searching the related materials, writing the paper, revising it, need to be planned well. Therefore, it brings about many benefits to the young people via developing the ability of organizing and planning.(这个段落苍白无力.理由不好,没有说服力.重新想一个理由,再写写)

In conclusion, if young people want to attain accomplishment(crave for success) in the life, the capability of planning and organizing is an indispensable skill in the competition society which should be developed from their childhood.

这篇文章,我不是很满意.继续努力.

谢谢德克.

看来例子还得再想想.