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[求助]第一篇作文,求拍!谢谢

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楼主
发表于 2007-7-25 20:34:00 | 只看该作者

[求助]第一篇作文,求拍!谢谢

题目It is important to know every event happening around the world even if it is unlikely to have any effect on your daily life.

Though we live in the so large world where a tremendous number of things happen, which have no important influence on our daily lives, we also should know the events around the world. It is crucial to us learn about these events, because we can understand our world more deeply.

Though we live in the so large world where a tremendous number of things happen, which have no important influence on our daily lives, we also should know the events around the world. It is crucial to us learn about these events, because we can understand our world more deeply.

Learning about the things occurred in the other countries, such as wars, conferences, is beneficial to our lives, though they will affect us directly. The wars between several countries are not good to the people, environment and economy of those countries. Therefore, when we know about it, we may find out the factors that lead to the wars and avoid happening the same things. Besides, making conferences are important to improve our developments in all respects. Gaining the information about these conferences in the world will bring a great progress to our country.  

Learning about the things occurred in the other countries, such as wars, conferences, is beneficial to our lives, though they will affect us directly. The wars between several countries are not good to the people, environment and economy of those countries. Therefore, when we know about it, we may find out the factors that lead to the wars and avoid happening the same things. Besides, making conferences are important to improve our developments in all respects. Gaining the information about these conferences in the world will bring a great progress to our country.  

Furthermore, paying attention to the interesting events in the world can bring us a great many enjoyments. We get to know the funny things from the newspaper, magazines, television or internet. Our paces of lives are so fast that we will feel tired very much after work, then we will sit in front of the television or computer to relax ourselves. We can receive joy from the funny stories and interesting events in the world which are truly attractive. Finally, the stress and fatigue disappear.

In addition, understanding the history and cultural about our society is helpful to recognize the development of human being further. We can know the evolution of creatures, the improvements of information technology and the changes of weather. They all tell us it is difficult to the beautiful world from past. And we should cherish the happy life from our fathers’ arduous effort.

In conclusion, it is also important to know all the events around the world, even though it is unlikely to affect our daily lives. Getting more information will promote the development of our world.

离考试还有一个月,不知道这样的水平最后能进步到多少?

离考试还有一个月,不知道这样的水平最后能进步到多少?

感觉这篇文章的理由不太好说,想了好久,勉强想了三个,不知道合不合适.望大家给我指点指点.

谢谢了


[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-25 22:15:12编辑过]
沙发
发表于 2007-7-25 22:01:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用jiyuztc在2007-7-25 20:34:00的发言:

题目It is important to know every event happening around the world even if it is unlikely to have any effect on your daily life.

Though we live in the so large world where a tremendous number of things happen, which have no important influence on our daily lives, we also should know the events around the world. It is crucial to us learn about these events, because we can understand our world more deeply.

Currently, we live in the world that is so large that things occurred ubiquitously everywhere, inevitably, directly or indirectly influenced lives of us common people. Sometimes those events superficially seem have no relation with us, however, they virtually might change our opinions and lives gradually in the future. From my perspective, It is necessary for us to know events happening around the world

Currently, we live in the world that is so large that things occurred ubiquitously everywhere, inevitably, directly or indirectly influenced lives of us common people. Sometimes those events superficially seem have no relation with us, however, they virtually might change our opinions and lives gradually in the future. From my perspective, It is necessary for us to know events happening around the world

Learning about the things occurred in the other countries, such as wars, conferences, is beneficial to our lives, though they will affect us directly. The wars between several countries are not good to the people, environment and economy of those countries. Therefore, when we know about it, we may find out the factors that lead to the wars and avoid happening the same things. Besides, making conferences are important to improve our developments in all respects. Gaining the information about these conferences in the world will bring a great progress to our country.

Furthermore, paying attention to the interesting events in the world can bring us a great many enjoyments. We get to know the funny things from the newspaper, magazines, television or internet. Our paces of lives are so fast that we will feel tired very much after work, then we will sit in front of the television or computer to relax ourselves. We can receive joy from the funny stories and interesting events in the world which are truly attractive. Finally, the stress and fatigue disappear.

In addition, understanding the history and cultural about our society is helpful to recognize the development of human being further. (The more we understand the history that affect us significantly and events happening currently around the world , the more we gain to better reconize development of human being further) (By utilizing modern tools or watching scientific programs on TV)We can know the evolution of creatures, the improvements of information technology and the changes of weather. They all tell us it is difficult to the beautiful world from past. And we should cherish the happy life from our fathers’ arduous effort.

In conclusion, it is also important to know all the events around the world, even though it is unlikely to affect our daily lives. Getting more information will promote the development of our world.

离考试还有一个月,不知道这样的水平最后能进步到多少?

离考试还有一个月,不知道这样的水平最后能进步到多少?

离考试还有一个月,不知道这样的水平最后能进步到多少?

最后一个例子有些牵强.


[此贴子已经被作者于2007-7-26 14:37:33编辑过]
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-25 22:12:00 | 只看该作者

谢谢LS的哥哥

嗯...这个话题,感觉不好下手啊....想了很久呢

本来只想了前两个理由,但是后来字数不够,就又想了第三个.也感觉不太好.

地板
 楼主| 发表于 2007-7-26 11:38:00 | 只看该作者

有没帮忙改改的?谢!

5#
发表于 2007-7-26 17:32:00 | 只看该作者

Though we live in the so large world where a tremendous number of things happen, which have no important influence on our daily lives, we also should know the events around the world. It is crucial to us learn about these events, because we can understand our world more deeply.
            

Learning about the things occurred in the other countries, such as wars, conferences, is beneficial to our lives, though they will affect us directly. The wars between several countries are not good to the people, environment and economy of those countries. Therefore, when we know about it, we may find out the factors that lead to the wars and avoid happening the same things. Besides, making conferences are important to improve our developments in all respects. Gaining the information about these conferences in the world will bring a great progress to our country.  

Furthermore, paying attention to the interesting events in the world can bring us a great many enjoyments. We get to know the funny things from the newspaper, magazines, television or internet. Our paces of lives are so fast that we will feel tired very much after work, then we will sit in front of the television or computer to relax ourselves. We can receive joy from the funny stories and interesting events in the world which are truly attractive. Finally, the stress and fatigue disappear.

In addition, understanding the history and cultural about our society is helpful to recognize the development of human being further. We can know the evolution of creatures, the improvements of information technology and the changes of weather. They all tell us it is difficult to the beautiful world from past. And we should cherish the happy life from our fathers’ arduous effort.

In conclusion, it is also important to know all the events around the world, even though it is unlikely to affect our daily lives. Getting more information will promote the development of our world.

 

 

lz感觉你的文章有点断断续续的,蓝体字那段,还有蓝体的句子用it is ~that来换过就不会感觉头重脚轻,英文里比较忌讳这种,你找点高级词汇代替文章中比较口语化的单词,如funny,还有cheglish口吻的有一些 没办法 大家都这么说

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