[注意]请大家在帮我修改一篇作文,谢谢!啊!!感激不尽!!!!!!!!!!!!!

谢谢啊!!!!!!!感激不尽啊!!!!!!!

为什么没人理？

your first sentence is a run on sentence. that means you combined too many dependent sentences together.

I maintained that cars are the most convenient vehicles at present; since that they are not only easy to control, bur also freedom for people to drive as well.

and,what do you mean by "freedom" here?

看楼主全文是在讲car 的negative points 的。这样第一句就不要用 maintain 这个词。这个词太strong，容易引起歧义，会让人认为你是支持car 的。可以换作agree, 或直接说 some people think that……

On the other hand, with the increasing use of cars, we are facing a large amount of problems, for instance, the expense of gasoline, the pollution of gas and noise. Accordingly, a majority of people suggest lightening the utility rate of cars with the purpose of protecting our environment, and the suggestion has been performed in some countries; thus, I think it is possible that in twenty years fewer cars would be used than they are
            today.

帮忙啊,,,,谢谢

帮忙啊!!!!!!

我来抓语法错误

I think  cars are the most convenient vehicle（s）at present; since it is(they are)not only easy to control, but also freedom（名词） for people to drive as well(多余). On the other hand, with the increasing use of cars, a large percentage of（要表示＂多＂能换个词发？） problems that we must faced with（！谓语呢？）. For instance, the expense of gasoline, the pollution of gas and noise; accordingly, a majority of people suggest（宾语从句that不要省） lightening the utility rate of　cars with（for） the purpose of protecting our environment, and the suggestion has been performed in some countries; 用句号thus, I think it is possible that in twenty years  fewer cars will be use（d） than they are today.
     

In my country, with the developing(development) of economy, the number of people who want to buy a personal car increasing(increases) rapidly; (少用分号，用句号)moreover, this situation burden(s) with(burden with?没有这个词组吧) the traffic condition at the same time. In the morning, I can found（find） a lot of cars bring(ing) about the dilemma(两难困境？哪里有？) of stuck in traffic, and the engine’s noise is so awful that it make me hard(hard不大好) to fall asleep anymore.
      

The pollution of gas is also a troublesome problem; (句号！)we have to breath a lot of waste gas that it would have(it has) a negative influence on human‘s health, and the waste gas is the main factor (which)cause(s) the global warming. Furthermore, the SO2 from the gas will rise into air to(换成＂，＂) combine with water （and）then form the acid rain; (句号)it  can cause a lot of fish died（to die） and ruin tropical forest.
      

    Finally, the most terrible actuality(fact) is the reserve of petrol declining quickly;  however, all type(s) of cars need a huge amount of petrol; so, human being have to develop or innovate an new source to replace the function of the petrol if people still use car as their best(most common) transportation for their regular life. Because the high utility rate of fuel from cars will accelerate the consumption of the petrol.（最后一句没有逻辑的话可以不要）
     

At last, I recognized that our governments should public some policies to limit the rate of use cars. For citizens, we must conscious（realize） endangers(the hazards) which are the way(不懂．．) that use cars bring（use,bring哪个是谓语） to us. Even tough car is actually a excellent invention because it bring（s） convenient(convenience) and happiness to our life, the smartest chose it’s the way that not use the cars on account that  more and more events told us that the way of not use cars’ benefits far outweigh those of use cars. (最后一句不知所云．．．）这样考试去可不行啊．．．

少用分号，注意主谓一致，词性别用错了，定语从句指代清楚点．这仅仅是语法上的问题，还不包括idiom,diction还有逻辑表达，文章结构上的问题．加油吧，好好努力！