Aaron.Sun 第二期托福备考作文

Aaron.SUN · 发表于 2015-11-8 09:35:11

There is no doubt that different peoplevary in the way of dress. Every one has his or her appetite. We can easily tellhis or her personality or character indicating by the way of dress. I will givemy views as follows.

First of all, one person’s personalitycharacters his or her way of dress. In other words, we unconsciously expressour characteristic by our dressing. some people are outgoing and active infront of the public people, they maybe prefer to wear colorful and sexualclothes rather than pick up casual clothes to wear ,because they want theadmirable eyes and applause from the public people. On the contrary, those whodo not want to be focused on maybe favor unpopular and unobtrusive clothes. So,people will choose some clothes consisted with their personality, that is verynatural and not doubtful. Of course, although we can’t draw an accurateconclusion, at least, the conclusion is right in most of situations.

Next, a person’s characteristic will beinfluenced by the dressing. For instance. when we are always dressed in schooluniforms, as the time goes by, our characteristic will be tame like agentleman, we will behave ourselves to become a excellent students. What I wantto say,in fact, is that our characteristic is changeable as our socialsurrounding alters. what we wear will influence our surroundings, at the sametime, what is important is that our personality will be influenced by ourliving environment. When we continue to keep our way of our dressing, we willcultivate different characteristics from others. For example ,everyone want toshow their the best appearances, so they will be dressed in beautiful clothesshowing that they are outgoing and friendly, not only do they amuse themselves,but also they change other people’s feelings. In turn, other people’s happinessand admiration satisfy them. Thus,one person’s personality can be performed bythe way of dress.

Last butnot least, in my opinion, as what I said above, our personality characters ourway of dress, at the same time, our dressing shapes our characteristic. Theyare connectable and complementary to each other. Now that they are connected toeach other, there is no wander that we can easily distinguish theirpersonalities between different ways of dress.

KateLIAN · 发表于 2015-11-8 10:59:43

绿字都是个人看法。
我觉得主要问题在句子的表达上，就像是把中文直译成了英文的感觉。还有，主体段说理不够充分。我问了下英语系的同学，他说maybe，what I want to say, of course之类的词语太过口语化，最好不要用太多在作文里。

There is no doubtthat different people vary in the way of dress. Every one (everyone) has his or herappetite. There is nodoubt that people vary in the way of dress for the reason that everyone has hisor her appetite.因为我习惯长短句交错着写，所以试着连接了下前两句。 We can easily tell his or her one’s personality orcharacter indicating by the way of dress (dressing style. The way of dressing可以替换下). I will give my views as follows.

First of all, oneperson’s personality characters his or her way of dress. In other words, weunconsciously express our characteristic by our dressing. Some people areoutgoing and active in front of the public people, they maybe (may) prefer to wearcolorful and sexual clothes rather than pick up casual clothes to wear (to wear可以去掉), because they want the admirable eyesand applause from the public people （people可以去掉）. Some people,outgoing and active in front of the public, may prefer to wear colorful and sexualclothes rather than pick up casual clothes, for they enjoy the admirable eyesand applause from others. On the contrary, those who do not want to be focused onmaybe may favor unpopularand unobtrusive clothes. （不喜欢引人注目的人穿的衣服不一定是unpopular的吧？） So, people will choose some (their) clothes consisted with their personality,that 换成which或去掉逗号，that不能引导非限定性定语从句 is very natural and not doubtful. (个人认为可以把no doubtful去掉，因为我觉得和后面‘can’t draw an accurate conclusion’有些矛盾)Of course, although we can’t draw anaccurate conclusion, at least, the conclusion is right in most of situations.

这段不太切题，同意衣服是人性格的表现，就应紧扣主题说理。Sp2写衣服可以反过来影响人总觉得怪怪的，不够直白。
Next, a person’scharacteristic will be influenced by the dressing. For instance, when we arealways dressed in school uniforms, (we are supposed to wear school uniform and) as the time goesby, our characteristic will be tame tamed like a gentleman,. （穿校服会让人变得绅士吗……）(We) we will behave ourselves to become a(an) excellentstudents. We will behaveourselves as an excellent.What I want tosay, in fact, is that our characteristic is changeable as our social surroundingalters. What we wear will influence our surroundings, at the same time, what isimportant is that our personality will be influenced by our living environment.When we continue to keep our way of our dressing, we will cultivate differentcharacteristics from others. For example ,everyone want to show their the bestappearances, so they will be dressed in beautiful clothes showing that they areoutgoing and friendly, not only do they amuse themselves, but also they changeother people’s feelings. In turn, other people’s happiness and admirationsatisfy them. Thus, one person’s personality can be performed by the way ofdress.
你这段的意思我给你用中文写下啊：我们的性格随环境而变。我们的穿着会影响环境，同时，重要的是我们的性格也会被影响。如果我们保持我们的穿衣风格，我们就会从别人那里培养不同的性格。每个人都想表现最好的自己，所以都穿漂亮衣服以示自己的活泼友好。不仅取悦了自己，也改变了别人的感受。别人的愉悦也会使他们满足。因此，一个人的性格可以体现在衣服上。
我觉得你这段想说的意思，应该是我们打扮的样子，就是我们希望别人能了解到的那个自己。比如我是一个活泼开朗的人，我就穿着运动系。比如我是一个小公举，我就穿洛丽塔。不知道我理解对没。但是你看，你的每一句之间几乎没什么逻辑的，让人没法一目了然。

Last but notleast, in my opinion, as what I said above, 这两个短句可以去掉一个 our personality characters our way ofdress, . At at the same time,our dressing shapes our characteristic. They are connectable and complementary to eachother. Now that they are connected to each other, and as a result there is no wanderthat we can easily distinguish their (people’s) personalities between (among穿衣方式应该不止两种吧) different ways of dress.

KateLIAN · 发表于 2015-11-8 11:05:55

组织句子和用词水平有限，有些地方可能不太细致准确，请多多包涵啦~

Aaron.Sun 第二期托福备考作文

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

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