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大牛，您们好，我的症状是：有遣词造句能力差，表达总是不准确，理由的思路还可以，但例证的思路很狭窄。
希望您们能帮我看看还有些什么毛病，怎么改进呢？
能不能麻烦再帮我调整一下语言？ 120224CN A&DA in a team, people who do not accept other's criticism cannot succeed.
In a team, some people would like to accept other's criticism but others, in contrast, may incline to neglect others' criticism.（前面这些属于废话吗？该留着还是扔掉呢？） It is believed that those who do not accept criticism from others' cannot succeed and I definitely support it. Refusing others' criticism, unquestionably, exert a deleterious effect on people's development of their characteristic, knowledge and personal abilities and on people's networking.
The crucial factor for my propensity is the fact that someone cannot develope himself well if he ignores others' criticism. To begin with, other's criticism can help us to develop our characteristic. The celebrated entrepreneur Jack Tang is very kind and like to accept others' criticism and ten years ago, he made a wrong decision in an investment because he is so eager to make a fortune. One of his colleagues criticized him and suggested that he should be more rational as a CEO in the company. Fortunately, Mr. Tang accepted the advice and forced himself to develop good characteristic like patience which play significantly indispensable role in his later fabulous achievement. Further lending credence to my position is the fact that others' criticism can supervise us to learn more useful skills. When we lack of some personal skills like communication skills that we may not pay attention to, others' will give us criticism and that will make us know ourselves better and inspire us to learn more. When I took part-time job as a waiter in KFC on last summer vacation, I get a lesson. When a customer finished his launch but leave, I cleared his table right now. But after five minutes, he went back and asked me where was his chicken. I said I thought he had gone and cleared the table and that make him annoyed. After work, my manager criticize me and told me that I could avoid the quarrel with the customer if I said something pleasant and after that, I made a determination to learn communication skills but before having a word with my manager, I did not realize my wrong. Undoubtedly, someone who cannot develop his personal abilities and characteristic well have less chance to succeed. Last but not least, people will hurt their networking, which is crucial to one's success, if they neglect others criticism. Firstly, as employees in companies, we have to accept the instruction and criticism from over leaders. Otherwise, we may miss the promotion of position. Take my friend Tom for example. He is a bank clerk and everytime when his boss finds out his faults, he always finds some excuses and blames others. Obviously, he won't have a good impression on his boss. Furthermore, if we refuse to accept criticize from our partners, we may let them down. When someone makes others frustrated, the team may be dismissed and, consequently, they are hard to succeed. Taking those factors into account, we can reach the conclusion that, in a team, people who do not accept other's criticism cannot succeed.（我最后一段总是写成这样，没话说，该怎么改进呢？） | 
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发表于 2013-9-3 20:38:21
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