有没有大神能帮忙看一下我的作文里面两句话写的有没有问题

rsal024 · 发表于 2013-5-21 23:19:00

1. This can save them a large amount of valuable time, which would otherwise be wasted on buses or subways.
2. Before the formulation and implementation of the relevant project, it is essential that we invite for consultation for the opinions of residents, citizens and other stakeholders who will be affected by the university
多谢！

破碎 · 发表于 2013-5-22 21:29:56

积RP。。。。错误不管，仅供参考
1.This can save a large amount of time,or otherwise the time would be wasted on buses or subways.
Doing this,they can save a large amount of time,which would otherwise be wasted on buses or subways.
save them 表达奇怪......
2.Before the relevent project is formulated or implemented, we should consult some groups' opinions.These groups include residents,citizens and other stakeholders,anyone who will be affected by the university.
抽象名词表达没有动词清晰。托福写作喜欢简单句。。。。然后一些比较废话的词，像valuable ，it's essential能不用就不用吧。。。。不过这些词在此处令人感觉废话不代表在别的地方运用时就不好。。。。看句子吧。。
以上个人观点。。。轻拍。。。。

有没有大神能帮忙看一下我的作文里面两句话写的有没有问题

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()

浏览过的版块