11月2日考试分享JJ作文，多多指教^.^ 望驻足，帮修改~

monicafish · 发表于 2012-10-26 19:10:50

三选一，你愿意做出以下哪种改变？
（1） Thekind of food you eat
（2） Theamount of exercise
（3） Theamount of stress
如果你只能选一个方式让提高自己的健康，选啥？吃得健康？多运动？减少压力？
（33分钟432字）
Have you ever worried about your health when you live in such a worldwith pressure with you? Have you already feel that the stressful living stylehave already makes you out of breath? Or have you ever noticed that yourfamilies and friends suggest you to take time and pay more attention on yourhealth?
Unfortunately, the answer is definitely YES for me. Actually, I, fornow, would like to reduce the amount of stress in order to keep me healthyinstead. I wish that the following three steps can make it work.
Firstly, changing the thinking pattern. I used to consider the perfect endingof my task as my final goal. People around me always complain that I treat notonly them but also myself over-restricted. I used to spend the time on finishingmy unrushed assignment which was supposed taken by meals; as a result I wasbrought to hospital due to irregularliving pattern with overloaded work. If I changed the think pattern and did notmyself too hard, my health had been protected perfectly. If I do not value the result too much and justwork for it with a good and comforting attitude, my stomach would not been ill.

Secondly, thinking positively. According to the long-term scientificresearch, we know that the positive attitude towards life is the key to a healthybody. A rainy day, to a positive person, is beautiful and poetic, but to a pessimisticperson, is the factor reflecting of sad memories happened before. Therefore, Ihope that the degree of my positive attitude can increase so that a good moodcan make me healthy mentally and physically.
Furthermore, taking less time on thinking but more on taking actions. Somepeople prefer to make a wonderful plan before they take actions. They also hopeto predict what will happen next in other to avoid so-called unnecessary problemsforehead. Unfortunately, I am just such a person. I named myself “Overthinking Lady”.Fortunately, I realized it recently, which allows me to make a change.According to a company’s up-to-date working pattern, they often take actionfirst , and then solve the consequent problems, and virtually they figure outthe solution and as a result continue to take action. Things go easy andefficient within this practical working circulate—working and solving problemand then working again. I am supposed to learn from them.

In a conclusion, in order to keep healthy, I chose to reduce pressurein my life. Hope the mentioned three approaches can work as my expectations.

srafcatt · 发表于 2012-10-27 10:18:30

三选一，你愿意做出以下哪种改变？
（1）The kind of food you eat
（2）The amount of exercise
（3）The amount of stress
如果你只能选一个方式让提高自己的健康，选啥？吃得健康？多运动？减少压力？

I prefer to keep healthy by eating different kinds of food. The most obvious reason is:food is our source of essential nutrients. We all need variety in out diet.We have to enrich our meals,adding into various vegetables,nuts,fruits and meat to balance our diet.But as for me,food is not that simple--a healthy way to keep alive,it sometimes offers a healthy way to think.

Firstly,different food means different cultures,if people are aware of it,it will makes conversations and cooperation much more easier than before.And then,we will have enough friends to share our feelings and solve our problems,that's definitely good to our health.Some guy may wonders how to know cultures just by eating food. This opinion originates from an old saying:different water and soil raised different people. In fact,even in the same country,the traditional food is not the same in different localities.To some extent,food reflects certain region's main characters perfectly.Since each character has its own charming aspect, Whenever I felt lonely or depressed,I just try something new,read the illustrations about it,and then find the cultures behind it.Finally,I will persuade myself to think in a different way and behave better.

Secondly,trying different diet will help me build a vigorous and graceful shape.It is important to have a good food habit,but things can always be better and better.In other words,you can always find a healthier diet to further improve your quality of life.However,if you don't try,you will never know what it is for sure.I once lived with my aunt for about three months.And she has hot cereal every breakfast.At first,I thought it was disgusting to swallow such sticky mass.But later I found it a good way to keep fit and energetic at the same time.The same thing happens again and again during the three months,I just try first and be patient to see the result.Finally,I succeed in loosing 4 kilograms when I left my aunt.

Thirdly,Changing the kind of food you eat is significant for me to overcome depression.Because changing even slightly will help me focus on the change,not the past,therefore it reminds me of always being positive and help get over failure.In some cases,the difficulty is so great that people temporarily have no chance to get away.Just have a rest and change your food,to calm nerves.Everytime I did this,I will find that every problems need to be solved step by step,and what I have to do is find what the first step it is.

In conclusion,There's no doubt that eating different kinds of food helps to feel more relaxed,more confident and more creative,though it is a special way to make me think differently,it does keep me healthy and be more successful.

srafcatt · 发表于 2012-10-27 10:55:16

Have you ever worried about your health when you live in such a worldwith pressure with you? Have you already feel that the stressful living stylehave already makes you out of breath? Or have you ever noticed that yourfamilies and friends suggest you to take time and pay more attention on yourhealth?非常好。
Unfortunately, the answer is definitely YES for me. Actually, I, fornow, would like to reduce the amount of stress in order to keep me healthyinstead.（I would like to replace the stressful way of living with a more healthy one for now.） I wish that the following three steps can make it work.
Firstly, changing the thinking pattern. I used to consider the perfect endingof my task as my final goal. People around me always complain that I treat notonly them but also myself over-restricted. I used to spend the time on finishingmy unrushed assignment which was supposed to be taken by meals; as a result I wasbrought to hospital due to irregularliving pattern with overloaded work. If I changed the think pattern and did notpushmyself too hard, my health had been protected perfectly.(My health should have been protected perfectly,if I had not pushed myself too hard.) If I do not value the result too much and justwork for it with a good and comforting attitude, my stomach would not been ill.

Secondly, thinking positively. According to the long-term scientificresearch, we know that the positive attitude towards life is the key to a healthybody.非常好。 A rainy day, to a positive person, is beautiful and poetic, but to a pessimisticperson, is the factor reflecting of sad memories happened before. Therefore, Ihope that the degree of my positive attitude can increase so that a good moodcan make me healthy mentally and physically.
Furthermore, taking less time on thinking but more on taking actions. Somepeople prefer to make a wonderful plan before they take actions. They also hopeto predict what will happen next in order to avoid so-called unnecessary problemsforehead非常好~（beforehead）. Unfortunately, I am just such a person. I named myself “Overthinking Lady”.Fortunately, I realized it recently, which allows me to make a change.According to a company’s up-to-date working pattern, they often take actionfirst , and then solve the consequent problems, and virtually they figure outthe solution and as a result continue to take action. Things go easy andefficient within this practical working circulate—working and solving problemand then working again. I am supposed to learn from them.

In a(去掉)conclusion, in order to keep healthy, I chose to reduce pressurein my life. Hope the mentioned three approaches can work as expected.

本文符合题意，但是，托福作文是以解释原因为主而并非以提对策为主的（请看下OG 的范文以及各种范文资料），所以答题的方向仍需校正。

另外，若要的高分，请务必使用从句作为段首句。

强烈建议楼主多看范文，因为有许多格式上的要求，楼主仍未领会。

对于排比句的看法：本文排比句比上篇用的好多了~~第一篇文章的排比句被删掉是因为和后文联系不紧密。

monicafish · 发表于 2012-10-31 15:50:40

Srafcatt,你提的建议很好！懒散了几天，后天考了，现在看看OG去，希望还来的及。

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