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新鲜出炉习作,请牛牛们猛批!

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楼主
发表于 2012-9-22 21:51:34 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
2012年1月28号  机经  独立写作

Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: People can solve important problems by themselves or with the help from their family members so there's no need for the government to help them.

偶滴文章——欢迎大神们给与批评指正。小女在此谢过~~


Let me give you an example. A girl who is nearly 12 or 13 years old has a family in which her father is in the prison for some illegal drug trades and her mother is ill in bed. However, the girl is innocent and should go to school to receive compulsive education but without the assistance of her family. What will she do? Perhaps she doesn't have the ability to take care of her mother who is ill in bed, even herself because she is so young. What should she tend to ask for help?

What I mentiond above is very common in every society, both in the Kingdom of freedom, United States, and in the battle country, Pakistan. When people face the serious problems concerning their survival, they are willing to turn to their government to search assistance. Therefore, the argument is so hasted to say that people can solve important problems by themsevles or with the help of their famliy members without thinking about some trobles that are beyond their own capabilities.

In most of the countries in the world, government are playing an essential role in many feilds, such as education, health service, marketing, and financial investment. So the behavior of individule is more or less influenced by the direction pointed by government. For example, when a young man lost job in the finance crsis, and all the members of his family are in the same boat, the only one they could depend on is the government by receiving subsidy or allowrance, and he should wait untill the government make some stimulating methods to promote the economy and provide more job oppotunities. Only in that way, could he come back to normal life.

Not only for individual, but also for the companies that has more capital to suvive and more resource to develop, government is always the believeble one. For example, during the financial crsis in around 2009, in the Wall Street, many investment banks or venture companies witnessed the panic and were facing bankrupt, and finally, under the the American government's financial policy, their situation were getting better and better.

Therefore, under the environment that government masters most of the big power, people's ability to solve problems is not relatively advanced. In some basic daily activity, people could handle by themselves, while in some national issues, people can't avoid counting on government.    
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沙发
发表于 2012-9-24 20:28:16 | 只看该作者
好新颖的文字哇!如果你是备考托福,希望你加入写作小分队互改进步,大本营首页有规则。加油哦~
板凳
发表于 2012-9-24 21:22:01 | 只看该作者

简单改了一下 见附件

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地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-10-13 13:30:28 | 只看该作者
106929
-- by 会员 fuzhengrui (2012/9/24 21:22:01)

哇,现在才看到你的批改,之前以为都没人理我呢,谢谢你啦~~已经很中肯,那么认真的说……我会努力改正的!!再次感谢图图~O(∩_∩)O~
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