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[求助]请求大家帮忙修改这个文章◆◆◆TWE167 ◆◆◆

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楼主
发表于 2004-10-26 03:39:00 | 只看该作者

[求助]请求大家帮忙修改这个文章◆◆◆TWE167 ◆◆◆

Your school has enough money to purchase either computers for students or books for the library. Which should your school choose to buy-computers or books? Use specific reasons and examples to support your recommendation.


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Our school has been given a grant to make necessary improvements to its facilities. We can spend it on new books for the library or on more computers. Our school already has books in its library and it already has computers. Since we have more books than computers, I think that new computers will benefit the students more.



Computers can access up-to-date information on the Internet. Right now, the reference books in our library are very outdated. Our encyclopedia set is eight years old. But if every student had access to a computer, we all could have the latest facts and figures on everything.



Unfortunately, giving every student a computer means we need a lot of computers. Right now, the ratio of computers to students is one to twelve. This means students only get to work on the computers three or four times a week. But if every student had a computer, we could use it whenever we wanted.



"Information on demand" should be our slogan. Students today need lots of information right away. Life goes by too quickly to wait. It takes forever to identify a book that you think might have the information you need. Then you have to go to the library and look for the book. Usually it is not even there.



With a computer information searches are instantaneous. If we all had computers, we could access more information and access it faster by computer. We could have all the information we needed for our schoolwork. We could all improve our grades. For these reasons, I feel that purchasing more computers will benefit us more than buying more books.



沙发
发表于 2004-11-2 19:03:00 | 只看该作者

段落与段落间的逻辑不是很清楚,不算是一篇很“八股”的文章。

如果给每个理由段加一个开头观点句,可能会好些。如第一段加“现有的电脑太旧,需要更换”,第二段加“现有的电脑数量太少,无法同时满足大批学生的需求,需要增加数量”,第三段加“用电脑查信息有时比书本更方便”

板凳
发表于 2004-11-3 20:47:00 | 只看该作者

公司把偶们的外网断了
偶白天上不了网了
郁闷 想骂人
各位板板们辛苦了
也不要太想念偶
偶晚上会回来的

同情ing~~

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