以下是引用pumpkin在2004-10-26 3:24:00的发言：Imagine that you have received some land to use as you wish. How would you use this land? Use specific details to explain your answer. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Land is a valuable resource, and it is important to use it effectively. I think (that)it would be the most effective way to use it is to create something that all people can enjoy. I, therefore, propose to use the land to build a campground. a campground would make a more enjoyable environment for everyone in this area where there is little low-cost recreation ,at he present time, in the area where I live. Building a campground would change that. Ultimately a campground would make a more enjoyable environment for everyone.
Local entertainment is simply too expensive. A nice evening out can cost as much as one hundred dollars. Even movies and other less expensive types of entertainment are no longer cheap. Further, there are no real recreational facilities nearby. There are no parks within 30 miles. There are very few basketball courts, and most of those are in poor condition.
Building a campground could change these situations all that. Staying overnight at a campground is very inexpensive, it can cost as little as thirty dollars. Further, there would be a sports area and picnic tables for use by campers and also those who do not wish to stay overnight. A campground would provide a lot of activities for very little money. That would definitely improve this area.
The result of building a campground will be that many more people will be able to afford an enjoyable evening out. A campground also promotes healthy living. People can get out and breathe fresh air. They can walk and bike and play basketball or other sports. That is certainly better than spending an evening sitting down, eating buttery popcorn in a movie theatre. it is very strange to me, when the author mentions these functions. it is not a simple campgroud but a community center. however, it is not true. if the auther tries to build a special one, he or she should describe the campground.
A campground will make area beautiful as well as functional. We have many wonderful natural resources but we need to cultivate them. In addition to all the other good things it can bring, building a campground will help us do just that. the conclusion is a little big weak
the whole essay is not bad(language is on average for foreign writers), but the ideas is not persuasive, and also a little repeated. but I can say the score ranges from 4 to 5, depending on the readers' mood. | 
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发表于 2004-10-26 03:24:00
