issue：“他人意见与进步的关系”之修改贴，欢迎批评指正（8月12日更新）

theopenwindow · 发表于 2012-8-9 08:59:35

黑字基本改成红的了，小部分保留，欢迎指正！！

中心大意:论述异议容易让人停滞不前,相同意见中容易进步的合理性

Initially, we should admit that there is such a possibility that the same ideas and positive critics can help progress, while different opinions inhabit from advancing. （Undoubtedly, there exits such phenomenon that praise and comfort help one advance quickly, while standstill comes after criticism ）This phenomenon comes from humans' nature that approaching to the advantage and avoiding from the disadvantage. (Clearly, it’s about human' nature. As normal people, we draw on advantage, like nice commend, and avoid disadvantage, like different opinions.)That is to say, when a person gets appreatiation towards their struggle from others, they tend to fell satisfied and desire to go on and obtain more agreements. (删)And at the same time, their confidence and interest on this field which he or she is working on will be escalated.(Because, after getting words of praising, we will feel satisfied and confident of ourselves. Desiring to get more recognition, naturedly, we will spend more time and energy on the area. ) Then getting progress is a normal thing.（删） On the other hand（On the contrary ）, when harsh and severe reactions flush into one's mind, there is a very strong psychological reflection that he has no gift in this area or get more and more confused(reflection后面改成伴随状语：，getting more and more hesitated, ) on the way to progress. Thus, it make sense to construct a positive relationship between others' opinions and the condition of one's progress.（Thus, it make sense to relate others’ opinions and one’s progress）

普渡哥 · 发表于 2012-8-9 13:38:01

红字部分写得好。

Thus, it make sense to relate others’ opinions and one’s progress 有语法问题。

theopenwindow · 发表于 2012-8-9 15:34:42

嘿嘿~会继续的呦！Because "we can usually learn much more from people whose views we share"

theopenwindow · 发表于 2012-8-10 08:42:02

继续改，欢迎指正！！！8月10日
However, even though the assertion appears to happen in the reality, it is never certain to say that opponent's ideas can prevent one from progressing. (However，even if such a relation exists, it is unlikely to be inevitable.) For one thing, what the press from disagreement will affect has something to do with one's attitude (The influence of critical comments vary among people with different attitudes and psychological qualities). To (For) the optimists, stress may represent (is) motivation. With the failure, stronger determination, courage, and new ideas about how to promote will come together. (Every defeat, every failure, every heartbreak, they will become more resolute and brave, with a more conscious version of where they are, and of how to continue) (In order to correct their defects and to do better, they just try harder.) But to (For) the pessimists, counterviews are direct cause of suspicion, disappointments and even stop. Once getting criticism, depression and gloom will occupy their mind and progress becomes difficult.Actually, it's the pessimistic attitude and vulnerable self that beat them, rather than others' ideas.

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-8-10 21:47:02

theopenwindow · 发表于 2012-8-10 23:14:21

theopenwindow · 发表于 2012-8-12 11:17:11

第三段部分合并到第二段了，因为发现论点又重复嫌疑；扩充第四段，不过还需要例子··
原稿：

For another thing, what cannot be omitted is the benefit from critics. Just like one important principle in the Marxist philosophy, contradiction is the source of progress.People get larger opportunity to do better after considering various opinions including mass negative voices. After all, in the procedure of wording hard, one apt to be more and more confident in the pattern of him, ignoring a lot of normal and even obvious mistakes. Only with the help of others' critics, can one get clear with the fault. One practical experience of my friend, Lisa just demonstrates the point. Based on exceptional rich experience on making magazines, Lisa gets a internship chance as iebook editor in a famous magazine company. When she shows the first sample edition to her friend, surprisingly, handful of defects came except for the merits. After negotiating with her friend and correcting it carefully, the edition was passed smoothly. Just think about it, where is the success of the first sample without the opponents' suggestions? So, even good advices are harsh to the ear, progress often come after them.

Eventually, there is nother significant point. Even though different ideas prevent one from advancing, it doesn't mean people will perform better in agreements.In the fact, progression has matter with many elements beyond others' idea,(Besides, many factors besides others’ commend affect progression,) such as degree of struggling, opportunities, working platforms. With the intertwining function with all the factors can one advance on and on.
改后：
（扩充到第二段的，省略了）

Eventually, there is another significant point. Even though different ideas would prevent one from advancing, it doesn't mean people will perform better solely for agreements. First, too much compliments may result in complacement which does not match with the real circumstance. Once such a negative emotion maintains for a long time, it will be an obstacle for progress without doubt. For example, ……（

）Besides, many factors besides others’ commend affect progression. It’s preemident mentors’ unremitting instructions that help students progress with high effeciancy, avoiding many detours. It’s one’s insistence and enterprise that guarantee one’s continuous improvements after leaving schools. And also, suitable working platform plays an important role because it offers a effective system and competent parteners, which both curve one to make unceasing progress. With the synthetic function with all the factors can one advance on and on.

[作文互改] issue：“他人意见与进步的关系”之修改贴，欢迎批评指正（8月12日更新）

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