求拍ISSUE-15高薪工作

a273007862 · 发表于 2012-1-29 23:27:25

15 Issue 原文

Educational institutions should actively encourage their students to

choose fields of study that will prepare them for lucrative careers.

严格按照30分钟写的文章。发现了一个很重要的问题，每次写提纲的时候，感觉跟题目很搭，可是掐点写，一边写一边就感觉有点跑题，然后就要停下来琢磨怎么样在跑回去！

The author would prefer to agree with that educational institutions should take some guides for students. about how to choose jobs which have higher pays. It may not benefit to students. At the same time, however, in different situations, I agree with it partly.

Admittedly, one reason fundamentally agree with the assertion is the situation of the whole society. In the first place, our parents raise us from primary schools to colleges, we have responsibility for feedback them when we graduate from universities. Undoubtedly, it is necessary to choose study for lucrative careers. In the other hand, we also must raise us after graduating. There are a lot of things to pay for, such as medical insurances, car insurances, house loans and so on. Therefore, studying in an applied fields are the better way to have a higher paid.

However, only to study the higher paid fields are not benefit to the whole society. The educational institutions could not substitute us of choosing which fields to study. Let us take an applied research and theoretical research as an example. As we all know, the applied research have great effects instantly, whereas the theoretical research is opposite. If all of us go to the fields with instant outcomes, the theoretical research may not sustained. What's more important, the theoretical research generally is the foundation of the society. Thus, we could not only prepare for lucrative careers.

Aside from the forgoing provisos, the responsibilities of educational institutions are not to encouraging students which researches to choose, but rather to cultivate their independent thinking. Independent thinking is more important to the students. Firstly, interesting is the best teacher. The students should study the fields which they are interested in. Secondly, due to the interesting, students may have deeply study. Although it seems do not have more money, it eventually earns more money in the future.

To sum up, educational institutions' s could not only to guide the student to choose lucrative jobs, but also combine with students’ interests. Personally speaking, it is recommend that educational institutions may bulletin some advices that which fields are the tendency of the society, but institutions should not compulsive students. Students have the power of choosing what fields they will study in.

字数：374

竹林中人 · 发表于 2012-1-30 01:15:07

关于这篇文章，觉得字数少了的原因之一可能是没有举例子什么的，再有一点就是lucrative careers是指盈利性职业，与之相对的应该是非营利性的吧，你的文章中似乎把它当做应用性的职业和理论性的职业，有点偏。
1 take some guides 应该为give吧
2. benefit to students.不需要to
3.At the same time, however,不知道这样是否合适
4. one reason fundamentally agree with ？
5.In the first place, our parents raise us from primary schools to colleges, we have responsibility for feedback them when we graduate from universities两个句子之间没有连接词，for 后面的feedback 用的不地道
6.also must 应该为must also
7.Therefore, studying in an applied fields are the better way to have a higher paid.不知道这句话跟你的观点有什么关系
8.substitute us of choosing ？？？没有这个用法吧

lukebrehm · 发表于 2012-1-30 22:47:26

One thing about your logic, the highest paying careers are ones that are in high demand or have to do with entertainment (also in high demand because people like to be entertained). You must understand that it could be okay to choose the highest paying careers because the market price is influenced by the market demand. For instance, if everyone chose to be painters, paintings would become very cheap and everything else would be very expensive thus it would automatically become very profitable to be a farmer or anything else for that matter.

But there is a flaw and this is were you should rest your argument. If everyone chose the most lucrative careers than there would be waves of graduates who all have the same career and next year it would be a different career. Now that does not lead to stability.

But! These are just ideas, you did good as it is. I'll let 竹林中人 do all the correcting today

[issue] 求拍ISSUE-15高薪工作

所属分类: GRE考试

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()