望NN们多多赐教

lavender0612 · 发表于 2010-3-18 14:50:11

这是我写的第一篇argument，写了整整2个小时啊，希望大家给点宝贵的建议哈！（新题库 52）

In this argument the author draws a conclusion that the construction last year of a shopping mall in downtown Oak City was a mistake.To support this claim,the author cites that since the mall has opened , many local business have closed,and downtown area suffers from parking shortage.Moreover,the author also states that Elm City should deny the application to build a similar shopping mall.At the first glance,the argument appears plausible ,but cautious examination reveals that the author's reasonings are unpersuasive because they suffer from several critical fallacies.

To begin with,the primary problem with the argument is the author's unwarranted assumption that the construction of the shopping mall causes the close of the local business and the shortage of the parking area.This assumption sounds ridiculous and is problematic as it takes no account of the other factors which can lead to the status quo .For instance,since the customers and the market are changing all the time,the local business can not catch up with the trend by useing their demoded strategy ,and unfortunately so great a economic recession happened last year that causes serious negative impact on the local business.In addition ,the author fails to provide any evidence to prove that there is a causal relationship between the construction of a shopping mall and the shortage of the parking area.It is possible that the government of Oak City built a variety of novel entertainments around the shopping mall last year,thus caused a shortage of parking area while enormous of people coming there to have fun.

Furthermore,the author has only emphasis on the negative effects on the construction of the new mall had but ignored the positive effects on the other hand.As a matter of fact,the mall brought numerous of benefits such as a great number of new jobs and stimulated the local economic simultaneously .What is more,even if the problems mentioned above are confirmed, the Elm City can not analogous to the Oak City because they are totally in different situations.Perhaps one is a bustling metropolis and the other is just a remote rural town.

In summary,this argument does not sound and persuasive.To make the argument more convicting,the author would have demonstrate that the construction of the new mall caused the various problems mentioned.I would suspend judgment about the credibility of conclusion until the author can provide sufficient evidence that the negative effects of the project outweighed the positive effects.

望NN们多多赐教

所属分类: 下线版块

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()