急问：essay的修改问题

I am not kidding.  Just read how Stanford GSB expects from an applicant:

Editing Your Essays

Begin work on these essays early, and feel free to ask your friends and family members to provide constructive feedback. When you ask for feedback, ask if the essay’s tone sounds like your voice. It should. Your family and friends know you better than anyone else. If they do not believe that your essays capture who you are, how you live, what you believe, and what you aspire to do, then surely the Committee on Admissions will be unable to recognize what is most distinctive about you.

However, there is a big difference between "feedback" and "coaching." There are few hard and fast rules, but you cross a line when a piece of the application ceases to be exclusively yours in either thought or word (excluding the letter of reference, which should be exclusively the recommender’s in thought and word).

Appropriate feedback occurs when you show someone your completed application, perhaps one or two times, and are apprised of errors or omissions. In contrast, inappropriate coaching occurs when either your essays or your entire self-presentation is colored by someone else. You best serve your own interests when your personal thoughts, individual voice, and unique style remain intact at the end of your editing process.

It is a violation of the spirit of the Fundamental Standard and Honor Code to have someone else write any part of your Stanford MBA Program application. Such an act will result in denial or your application or withdrawal of your offer of admission.

Sentence-level editing should be fine.

Keep your story, keep your tone, correct your grammar mistakes, streamline your essays... should be acceptable.

Just my 2 cents.