真诚请求拍砖，呼唤德克及各位达人~

61: Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their older(15-18 year-old) teenage children. Do you agree or not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion

There are different stages in our lifetime. First we are infants that can not finish doing anything without parents’ help, then babies, who can accomplish some simple affairs independently, and then teenage children, in which stage we may learn to settle the difficulties we are encountered with. But always, parents make important decisions for us on the premise that they consider us still not grown up. I don’t think it will do good to the children’s development.

Although the teenagers do not have as many life experiences as adults do, they have their own thoughts and judgments about this world. Only when they learn to take responsibilities for their own choices can they live in the complicated world independently. Nothing down, nothing up.  Even if they will pay high price by making wrong decisions, they can learn their lessons from that and avoid making such mistakes again in the future.

On the other hand, the decisions made by parents are not always the best choices for the children. As we all know, parents and children live in totally different time and environments. Parents may grow up with listening to the radio while their children with staring at the computer screen instead. There are huge differences between parents and children which we may call: gap. Because of such existence of gap between the two generations, parents may have misunderstandings with their children about what the children are really eager for and in need of. That will cause such a situation that the parents make false decisions for their children without consciousness.

Furthermore, sooner or later will the children have to face the outside world and handle their lives by themselves. Therefore, the earlier they learn to take responsibilities for their own decisions, the better they will lead their lives in the future. If parents insist in making decisions for their children, the children will lose the ability to handle their own lives independently. Just imagine who they can turn to when they are facing dilemmas and their parents’ aid can not be reached?

Parents always wish to pass their life experiences to their children so that the children can pay least price when pursuing their dreams. Maybe the best way to aid the children to make their dreams come true is helping the children make their own decisions instead of just making them.

没有人吗？just give me some suggestions, I will really appreciate that

anything is OK~

There are different stages in our lifetime.
(One’s ability to make decisions develops in accordance
with his growth要注意在文章的开头就要点题，让人家知道你的讨论主题是什么。) First we are infants
that can not finish doing anything without parents’ help, then babies, who can
accomplish some simple affairs independently, and then teenage children, in
which stage we may learn to settle the difficulties we are encountered with.
But always, parents make important decisions for us on the premise that they
consider us still not grown up. I don’t think it will do good to the children’s
development.（Biologically speaking, one’s capability of deciding begin
forming in his pre-adult period, especially in the age range between 15 and 18,
in which a person has the vague awareness about how to observe as well as
evaluate his surroundings and make decisions. Therefore, it is my attitude that
by no means should parents be arbitrary to make all the decisions for their
children in this period because such misconduct is bound to exert foreseeable
negative effects on children in their capacity of deciding.在首段的后续引证部分，你必须要紧紧的扣住主题，千万不要乱。可以看到的是在你的手段当中你并没有扣紧TEENAGER这个主旨。）
    

Although the teenagers do not have as many
life experiences as adults do,（从句必须放到主句之后，ALTHOUGH明显就是一个从句标志词） they have their own thoughts and judgments（词汇重复） about this world.
Only when they learn to take responsibilities for their own choices can they
live in the complicated world independently. Nothing
down, nothing up.(在学术作文当中不准出现不完整的句子结构。)  Even if（从句） they will pay high
price by making wrong decisions, they can learn their lessons from that and
avoid making such mistakes again in the future.

On the other hand（前面没有ON ONE HAND，后面何来ON THE OTHER HAND）, the decisions made by parents are not always the best choices for
the children. As we all know（写作中不要使用这样的结构，人家不一定知道，要说什么说就是了）, parents and children live in totally（极端修饰词不要出现）
        different time and environments. Parents may grow up with listening
to the radio while their children with staring at the computer screen instead.
There are huge differences between parents and children which we may（去掉）
        call: gap（什么GAP？）. Because of（从句） such existence of gap between the two
generations, parents may have misunderstandings with their children about what
the children are really eager for and in need of（词义重复）. That will cause
such a situation that the parents make false decisions for their children
without consciousness.

Furthermore, sooner or later will the
children have to face the outside world and handle their lives by themselves.
Therefore, the earlier they learn to take responsibilities for their own decisions,
the better they will lead their lives in the future. If（从句）
        parents insist in making decisions for their children, the children
will lose the ability to handle their own lives independently. Just imagine（学术写作中不要出现无主句）
        who they can turn to when they are facing dilemmas
and their parents’ aid can not be reached?（这句话太乱了）

Parents always wish to pass their life
experiences to their children so that the children can pay least price when
pursuing their dreams. Maybe the best way to aid the
children to make their dreams come true is helping the children make their own
decisions instead of just making them.（结论句最好简明一些）

thoughts and judgments的意思好像不一样哦。。。。。。“词汇重复”该怎么理解？

非常感谢marscrat, 这里我有几个还有疑问的地方:

1、从句必须放到主句之后，这个规则我从来没有听说过啊。是iBT的潜规则吗抑或我一直搞错了？：）

2、关于on the other hand， 似乎前面并不一定必须出现过on one hand吧？：）我看许轶的ｉＢＴ作文满分那本书里收录的满分作文，很多都是直接在第二点出现了on the other hand。

３、关于词汇重复这点，撇去这几个词究竟是否一样不谈。为什么托福作文中不允许词汇重复啊？：）

上面是我有疑问的几点。其他修改我觉得非常好！说的问题也很切中要害。我的确也觉得自己写得更像记叙文多一点呵呵。再次感谢marscrat，并希望有人能解答我的疑问：）

另外，这篇文章我让一位English native的外教给修改了一下，这是她修改的版本，下划线的地方是她作出修改的，字体为红色的地方她说她看不懂。而那句谚语是我从托福上游网一份ＴＷＥ素材里学的。我由此明白，没有十分把握，谚语绝对不能乱用。还有就是一些我们习以为常的表达法，其实可能大错特错．．．

要说明的是，这位外教主要修改的是具体的语句和细节语法，而marscrat则主要是紧扣托福作文的要求提出的修改意见。两者结合，我还是觉得很有启发的：）

There are different stages in our lifetime. First we are infants; unable to finish doing anything without our parents’ help, then babies, who can accomplish some simple tasks independently, and then teenage children. By this stage we may learn to settle the difficulties we are faced with. But always, parents make important decisions for us on the premise that they consider us still not grown up. I don’t think it will do good to the children’s development.

Although teenagers do not have as many life experiences as adults do, they have their own thoughts and judgments about this world. Only when they learn to take responsibilities for their own choices can they live in the complicated world independently. Nothing down, nothing up.  Even if they will pay a high price by making wrong decisions, they can learn their lessons from that and avoid making such mistakes again in the future.

On the other hand, the decisions made by parents are not always the best choices for their children. As we all know, parents and children live in totally different time and environments. Parents may have grown up listening to the radio while, on the other hand, their children stare at a computer screen instead. The huge difference between parents and their children is often described as a generation gap. The existence of this gap between the two generations may result in misunderstandings, such as what the children are really eager for and in need of. It may even cause such a situation that the parents make false decisions for their children without consciousness.

Furthermore, sooner or later the children will have to face the outside world and handle their lives by themselves. Therefore, the earlier they learn to take responsibilities for their own decisions, the better they are able to lead their lives in the future. If parents insist on making decisions for their children, the children will lose the ability to handle their own lives independently. Isn’t it far more beneficial to prepare a child for the event of having to face a dilemma alone if they are unable to reach the aid of their parents?    

Parents always wish to pass their life experiences on to their children so that the children can pay a lesser price when pursuing their dreams. Maybe the best way to aid children to make their dreams come true is helping children make their own decisions instead of taking that decision away from them.

关于XANIA同学所提出的译文，我现作出如下解释：

1、从句必须放到主句之后，这个规则我从来没有听说过啊。是iBT的潜规则吗抑或我一直搞错了？：）

答：学术写作（ACADEMIC WRITING）事实上有着相当严格的一套构成规则。由于名目太多，所以今天在此就不一一罗列了。但是其中有一点是确定的，那就是句子的主信息（主句）必须先于次要信息(从属信息/从句出现）。

2、关于on the other hand， 似乎前面并不一定必须出现过on one hand吧？：）我看许轶的ｉＢＴ作文满分那本书里收录的满分作文，很多都是直接在第二点出现了on the other hand。

３、关于词汇重复这点，撇去这几个词究竟是否一样不谈。为什么托福作文中不允许词汇重复啊？：）

答：不是托福作文不允许词汇重复，这是由英语表达习惯所决定的。在一定的语言单位（句子/段落/篇章）中尽量不要重复使用一个单词。但是，如果考生实在无法想到其它单词了，也可以重复，或者使用复合的方式达成。

例

复合：UNIVERSITY=HIGHER TEACHING ORGANIZATION

非常感谢~ 这段时间专攻听力了，一直没有练写作

特地赶来对marscrat 的热心修改和建议道声谢