参考了德克的修改连接后，修改的作文，希望德克和大家帮忙再看看^_^

8月25号       Agree/Disagree:

Do you agree the statement that High school, colleges, universities should less the time teach g subjects and more time preparing the students of specific careers and jobs. 有人主张高中、大学应该花更多时间进行职业教育，而不是全科教育（general subjects）。支持or反对？说明理由。

General subjects or specific careers subjects? That’s a question for most of the people . As far as I am concerned , students might focus more emphasis on specific careers and jobs subjects .

To begin with , specific careers and jobs subjects are more likely to meet students’ need. Currently , more and more students tend to work early,  as soon as they graduate from college or university, since they believe work experience is more important than diploma . Thus , students trend to choose specific careers and jobs subjects as their first choice. Besides, general subjects, many of the students believe, are kind of boring. That is, specific careers and jobs subjects seem to be appealed to their desire. Students will do better on what they are interested in . So specific careers and jobs subjects will be a better choice .  

Moreover , the demand of students who are more suitable for specific jobs are increasing among the society . Jobs , like accounting , taxation , layers , are skillful . The trait of these works need the students to learn specific careers and jobs subjects earlier . And only the students who are specific on such skillful jobs can they be adapted to such jobs . I can remember my experience as I am still a sophomore student. I went to interview in an accounting company, thinking to get the position of accounter as a practical training. But I was failed because my school life is full of general courses which can do nothing with the position.

Definitely , general courses can broaden students horizon, as well as developing their interests . However , students, to be honest, have no more vigor to deal with general subjects ,which involve  that much subjects to learn .

Therefore , from my prospective , I hold my point of view that , students should focus more on the specific careers and jobs subjects .

07年8月17日

是否同意： getting advice from friends who are older than you 比friends who are at the same age更better。

When facing with difficulty , many people will turn to the older people for help . As far as I am concerned , I won’t quite follow with the option . Instead , I’d rather ask the peer  for  help .

To begin with , I insist that a friend who are at the same age are more convenient to communicate with. After all , we are in the same generation , we share similarities , and our value systems are more close to each other . Thus , we can at least talk as friends . What will happen when it comes to a friend who are older ? They  always talk to us as a boss do. I mean , they do not care much about whether we agree with what they say or not , they just thought themselves as  experienced, as they are forever right .

Futhermore, peers might have faced the problem that I am worried about .And the best situation is that they have solved the difficulty with their own wisdom . In this case , the advice from a peer will be much useful .What’s more, as we are younger generation , our thoughts might be more flexible .And we can have a discuss to seek out how to deal with such a problem better , which can improve our ability to adapt to the complex society .

Of course , older people can have more experience , and they know what will lead to the success , as well as how to avoid failure . Nevertheless, we are young kids who may have courage to undergo our future. Anyway, we can’t invariably live under the shelter that older people built for us , as a fragile flower . Instead , we must be braver , be stronger.

2007年6月30日

It is better to let a friend make a mistake than saying or doing something that would end the friendship.

What’s the true meaning of friendship? It’s easy to feel it but hard to define. Whatever, if one just do nothing except watching his /her friend to step into the wrong direction, I bet he / she has not a real friend . So, as far as I am concerned , I ‘d rather tell my friend the truth .

First and foremost, to help the friend away from the difficulty is essential in the definition of friendship. A friend in need is a friend indeed. Seeing my friend suffering in a problem is a kind of pain to me. And I can’t stand for doing nothing under such a situation. Although saying or doing something will lead our friendship to an end , I will still willing to have a bet , since I always view real friendship as unbreakable.

Moreover, saying something true or doing something may not only to end the friendship . Instead, I strongly believe that , after my friend going out of the problem and having not any loss in his missing direction , my loyalty will ultimately strengthen our friendship . Last time I was going to lie to my parents, in order to go out for a trip with several friends. One of my friend Xiaojun stopped me .She said that lying to parents is unforgivable. But I just can’t wait to have a break from my endless essays. I was annoyed with what she said at that time. However, the reality is she is right. When I calm down, I knew what she did is for my sake . So I accepted her advice, and stayed with my parents to have a nice weekend.

Perhaps making a mistake is a kind of growing up. But occasionally, it will be vital. I insist that communication is crucial between sincere friends. When there is an obstacle between I and my friends, I will invariably talk to them. Under this situation, it’s not easy for the friendship to break down, whatever what you say and what you have done, as long as you are a frank friend.

Thus, from my perspective, I won’t let my friend to deep into a problem if I could. Instead, I would rather have a chat with he/she, and help him/her out.

Imagine a man who watch TV for his whole life .What will happen ? Will him obtain the knowledge that how to make a living with specific skills ? Will him learn from the TV set about what the true meaning of life while he is falling  in love with the beautiful actresses ？Will he be active toward the life with a large amount of friends? I’m afraid I don’t think so . As I know , a multitude of people live under the illusion of the vivid screen of televion . However , from my prospective , books are more attractive .(在这个段落中，你使用了连续的问句作为开头，看似很别致，事实上你犯了一个学术论文的大忌。那就是要保证“引题通畅、立论清晰、启下有力”的原则。首先你没有让读者明白本篇文章讲的是什么，另外也没在第一时间让读者知道你的观点，更没有对于下文的引导性语言。建议你可以写成如下的样子：The exploration into information mine seems to be infinite for human beings. The question which way is a shortcut for human race to be profound, television or books, remains an albatross around our necks. It is my attitude that books, compared to televised programs, are wider aqueducts conducting us to get acquainted with truth and probe into the unknown. This essay is intended to visualize my standpoint from the following facets. )

To begin with , (注意在标点后空格)TV programmes may not show you（指代要避免使用二人称以避免产生针对语气，可以使用模糊人称例如“ONE/ A PERSON等） the exactly（词性误用） approaches to earn for a living . But books do . A Book is an  educationed friends（AN为何修饰复述FRIENDS） , to a certain extent , who will impact knowledge to you patiently when you get on with him/her . One can expand his interest , by means of hitting books of that specific aspect , besides his major in school . When I am still a sophomore , I learned French on my own , and passed the TEF test a year later , all by reading  books , instead of watching television.（法文可以让你EARN LIVING？）

Moreover , one of the most obvioius (obvious) benefics（benefits） of watching television is that TV programmes  can stimulate one’s desire to experience the real meaning of love or  the feeling of expressing their violent tendency ,rather than face with the reality . My little cousins serves as one of the victims . He was addicted to the violent movies and always imagine himself as a killer . (你在这个地方想通过这个例子说明什么？事实上你没有证明这个段落的分论点啊！)

I can imagine some opposing voices . And we must point out that TV sets can release our pressure of work and study , and it invariably acts as a sourse of happiness . But it is the television that apart  ourselves from out friends and relatives . We become solitude , and occationally we will sense a feeling of loneliness .（我们讨论的是学习而不是人际关系）

Consequently ,  as far as I am concerned（如果不想被秒杀，这个结构就不要出现了） , I don’t think of watching television as a better choice than reading books . Conversely , we can gain more from reading books . (372W)

评论三点

1. 语言逻辑需要加强

2. 文章中不要出现任何的缩写，除非是WTO这种，另外。CANNOT是唯一正确的写法。

3. 词汇拼写很成问题，注意准确性。

Imagine a man who watches TV for his whole life .What will happen? Will him(he) obtain the knowledge that how to make a living with specific skills? Will him(he) learn from the TV set about what the true meaning of life while he is falling in love with the beautiful actresses(这个句子confusing.而且有歧义.)? Will he be active toward the life with a large amount of(这个东西似乎是用来形容不可数的) friends? I’m(I am) afraid I don’t(do not.应该拆开) think so . As I know, a multitude of people live under the illusion(what illusion?这样冒出来一个illusion而你又不对这个illusion进行解释,读者就会confused) of the vivid screen(生动的屏幕?不通呀.) of television. However, from my prospective , books are more attractive.(你开头就不对了,题目要求的是:你同意不同意相对书本而言,人们可以从电视得到更多的知识.这个和attractive毫无联系.)

你写文章,需要紧扣题目的要求.你这篇文章就明显有点偏题了.

德克能不能抽空帮我把其他的作文也看看呢？