大家帮忙改下TOEFL作文啊！第一次写滴，多谢了

Topic 2

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ? Parents are the best teachers . Use specific reasons and examples to  support your answer.

Nowadays some may hold the opinion that parents are better than any teacher , but others have a negative attitude . As far as I am concerned , I agree that parents are the best teachers . My arguments for this point are listed as follows .

One of the primary causes is that it is our parents that we have lived with from childhood .  And we have got a large amount of knowledge from our parents . Since we were born , it is our parents who teach us anything we need , such as speaking , learning , principles , and so on.

But there is a further more subtle point we must consider is that the closest people to us are our parents . There is no doubt that they will give us knowledge without reservation at any time . Suppose that an office worker works in a company .He must compete with others .When he meets a big problem , maybe others will not help him though they can solve it easily . They do not want someone surpass them and win recognition from the boss . But the office worker's  parents will try their best to assist their son or daughter if he or she ask them for help.  Parents are selfless .

What is more , parents are the people who understand the most of us . So all the suggestions and  advices they give us are directed at us . For example , when I was child , I was diffident and was too shy to speak to other children . My parents knew that and they began to ask me to talk to others about my opinions , my feelings ,anything I want to say . And now they still encourage me to speak to foreigners and make friends with them .

In a word , parents are really our best teachers .

没有仔细看，不知道算不算建议。

我觉得第一段和最后一段都可以变得充实一点，提炼出一些语言简单说明你的三个论点。还有第一个论点看上去有些单薄

太宽泛，前两个观点基本上是重复的。特别是第一个观点没有作什么实质性的展开。因此很难展示你的语言能力。

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我又不是机器```这么多如何改的完```

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