twe005 可否请大家指点批改一下？谢谢！

005 A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

The fact that a company wishes to build a large factory near our community has given rise to a wide range of discussion about the pros and cons of the construction of the factory.  Some residents denounce the plan because they believe that the industrial facility will probably harm the natural environment.  However, in my opinion, the advantages of this plan are distinctive in several aspects, and I support the factory.

The most impressive advantage could be the job opportunities raised by the factory.  It will help soothe the pressure on unemployment in our community.  Last month, a newly opened department store provided us with some 300 job vacancies, leading to a decrease in the unemployment rate.  We could expect that the factory will also bring us several hundred job opportunities, benefiting our community to a larger extent.

Another advantage of the construction of this large factory is that it will make a contribution to the economic growth of our community.  According to statistics, the establishment of a large-scale enterprise can stimulate the economic growth of a region and raise the living standards of the local residents to a higher level.  A large factory usually pays more taxes, contributing more to the economic revenues.  In this sense, it helps improve the living standards of the local residents.

On the other hand, a factory may threaten the natural environment of our community.  It may discharge certain contaminants that affect the environment and the safety of our community.  However, if there are certain regulations that restrain the factory from pollution, the environment of our community could be well protected.  Thus, it is crucial to encat certain laws and regulations to solve the problem concerning the environment.

To conclude, the advantages of this plan obviously outweigh the disadvantages.  Besides, it is possible to circumvent the disadvantages.  Therefore, I support the construction of the factory, which could lower the unemployment rate and increase our economic revenues.

字数：322

麻烦大家了！非常感谢！

The fact that a company wishes to build a large factory near our community has given rise to a wide range of discussion about the pros and cons of the construction of the factory.  Some residents denounce the plan because they believe that the industrial facility will probably harm the natural environment.  However, in my opinion, the advantages of this plan are distinctive in several aspects, and I support the factory (decision).

The most impressive advantage could be the job opportunities raised by the factory.  It will help soothe the pressure on unemployment in our community.  Last month, a newly opened department store provided us with some 300 job vacancies, leading to a decrease in the unemployment rate.  We could expect that the factory will also bring us several hundred job opportunities, benefiting our community to a larger extent.

Another advantage of the construction of this large factory is that it will make a contribution to the economic growth of our community.  According to statistics, the establishment of a large-scale enterprise can stimulate the economic growth of a region and raise the living standards of the local residents to a higher level.  A large factory usually pays more taxes, contributing more to the economic revenues.  In this sense, it helps improve the living standards of the local residents.

On the other hand, a factory may threaten the natural environment of our community.  It may discharge certain contaminants that affect the environment and the safety of our community.  However, if there are certain regulations that restrain the factory from pollution, the environment of our community could be well protected.  Thus, it is crucial to encat certain laws and regulations to solve the problem concerning the environment.

To conclude, the advantages of this plan obviously outweigh the disadvantages.  Besides, it is possible to circumvent the disadvantages.  Therefore, I support the construction of the factory, which could lower the unemployment rate and increase our economic revenues.

写得很好，我只找出两个错误，一个是用词，我认为支持“决定”比较好，因为建立一个工厂，是政府的一个决定；一个是你打字错误，应当是：enact  

我建议你把这类建设问题：学校，工厂，购物中心，餐馆什么的，归纳成一类来写

It is the fact that a company wishes to build a large factory near our community has given rise to a wide range of discussions about the pros and cons of its feasibility.  Some residents denounce the plan because they believe that the industrial facility will probably cause great harms to the natural environment.  However, in my opinion, the advantages of this plan are distinctive in several aspects, where I would give strong and convincing evidences.

The most impressive advantage could be the job opportunities provided by the factory. In a sense, it will help soothe the pressure of unemployment in our community.  Last month, a newly opened department store provided us with some 300 job vacancies, leading to a decrease in the unemployment rate. Similarly, we could expect that the factory will also bring us several hundred working opportunities, benefiting our community to a larger extent.

Another edge of the foundation of this large factory ascribes to its contribution to the economic growth of our community.  According to statistics, the establishment of a large-scale enterprise can stimulate the economic growth of a region and raise the living standards of the local residents to a higher level. As a large factory usually pays more taxes, it surely contributes more to the economic revenues.  In this sense, it helps improve the living standards of the local residents.

On the other hand, a factory may pose potential threats to the natural environment of our community.  It may discharge certain contaminants that affects the environment and the safety of our community.  However, if there are certain regulations restraining the factory from pollution, the environment of our community could be well protected.  Thus, it is crucial to enact certain laws and regulations to solve the problem concerning the environment.

To conclude, by and large, the advantages of this plan obviously outweigh the disadvantages, also, circumventing the latter.  Therefore, the construction of the factory is feasible and worth being advocated, which could lower the unemployment rate and increase our economic revenues.

谢谢大家的建议。

我觉得自己第三段的内容不是很理想，大家觉得应该如何拓展一下呢？这样我的字数也可以再多一点。