[求助]第一次写请帮我给个分,TWE164

164. People do many different things to stay healthy. What do you do for good health? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Whether health is a hot topic recently, there is a hot topic about people who do many different things to stay healthy. Different people hold different opinions due to their distinct experience and backgrounds. Some people think that people can do exercise. Others, however, prefer to think that people can take vitamin. If I were faced with this issue, I would probably follow the former one. In the following discussion, I would like to reason and provide evidence to support my viewpoint.

First of all, the reason that we cannot neglect is that when you were do exercise for a long time, you would make your body more strong. Facts witness and present many examples. When I was a child, I always saw a doctor, because I was not healthy. My doctor told me that I must do exercise to make my body strong, and then I would not catch a cold so easily. After he told me, I started to do exercise such as taking a walk, swimming, climbing, and so on. Because of that, I became healthy. I think there are no better examples than this one to demonstrate this point more clearly.

In the second place, everyone can see another head and chief reason that I have chosen to put here. Doing exercise can make you relax. You just need to focus on what exercise you do. You do not need to think other things which make you down. While you have a bad mood, you can let yourself happy via doing exercise. If you can see this, you can understand it more deeply.

Surely, there is no denying that there are few disadvantages in certain circumstances. For instance, some people are too busy to have time. They will feel that it is not convenient to make them health. However, this alone does not lend any strong support to weaken what I have supported. When the advantages and disadvantages are carefully compared, the most striking conclusion is obvious.

Taking into account all these factors discussed above, which sometimes can intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive, we can safely come to the conclusion that doing exercise is really good way that can make you healthy. In fact, not only do I prefer to do exercise, but also I prefer to invite your family and friends to do together as much as possible.

可否帮我给分呢

若是改成whether heath is a hot topic nowadays, there is always a hot topic about…..

会比较好吗

恩恩 还有 是因为我的观点 还是说写的太多错误文法呢 希望大家救救我 我已经穷途末路了 好想哭喔