157题,第一次写的作文,请牛人指点

youzi728

写了一篇作文,字数在250多些,实在是凑不到300,希望牛人指点!第一次动手写，希望大家多提意见，还有就是那些地方可以再写些细节呢？／

157.In the future,student may have the choice if studying at home by using technology such as computer or television or of studying at traditional schools,which would you prefer ?use reasons and specific details to explain your choice.

 

undoubtedly ,studying at home by using technology such as computer or television has some advantages ,you can accept the information rapidly,on the other hand ,you will do without to go to school on schedule .neverthless many people also prefer to go to traditional school . i am one of them.

first .in traditional school .you can exchange your opinion with your classmates and teachers.it is wise to learn with teachers.they can tell you  where to begin with .what you  should do and which reference you  should choose.when you confront difficulties .you can ask them for help.their advice will always be tremendously helpful.under the teacher's gudience you can learn easier ,faster and more interestingly.besides ,you can also discuss the issues with your classmates that can not  do in your home alone.furthermore,you are able to share your limit resource with others and share others resource in turn .therefore it is virtually able  to reach a much larger amount of resource.

second.there is a good study atmosphere in school.there are many students in class or library.they are all study.that make you should study as well .there is a competition between you and others which can  make you improve constantly .all above can not do at home when you are alone and have no competiter.you will never know whether you have improvement

third, we go to school not only learn knowledge but also learn how to get along with others.how to deal with the things which confuse us .how to do a good person who have a good qualities.for example ,we make friends in school,sometimes you may be take into account your friends,so something can be done or not.it is indicated that you may not only think about yourslef but also your  friends.actually.you may live with others in socialty in future.

in conclusion .studying at home by using technology have some merits but there is more advantages in traditional school.in my opinion .studying in traditional school is propitious  for  my growth.

 

[此贴子已经被作者于2006-11-6 20:29:46编辑过]

shuyaj

我觉得你应该先自己改改，第一句话就有很明显的错误，主谓不统一，主语是动名词应为单数的，你再好好看看哈：）

youzi728

呵呵,改过来了,谢谢指正

其实发上来之前有改过啊,不过没发现,嘿嘿!