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Crystal的秋天

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Crystal的秋天

The reading passage and the speaker both discuss the topic of buzzing. However, the speaker, a part-time buzzer, discords with the idea inthe passage. He thinks buzzing will not (won't) harm people and society. He offersseveral reasons to oppose the article.
The first reasonis that buzzers are not liars. Although in the article, it claims that buzzersare paid to say the advantages of products but not spontaneously recommendthose products, and people have right to know whether these buzzers are paid tolie or not. The speakers clarify that advertising companies only find peoplewho have used their product to become buzzers. Thus, buzzers are not tellinglies but saying their true experience and feedback of products.
Second, thespeaker refutes the reading by mentioning whether buzzers will misleadconsumers or not.（你的观点是？） Though the article states that people can be secure and keep questionablewhen they see TV commercial advertisement, but they are easily to lose theability of differentiating bad or good when buzzers introduce them products. Thespeaker then argues that people still keep clever when they meet buzzers. When thespeaker is buzzing phone service to customers, customers people always keep asking him how long he have used this product, how much is this product and how is the service. If hecan’t answer people’s questions, people won’t believe him.
The third reasonis that buzzer will not destroy the trust between people but bond socialrelationship. While the article indicates that buzzers will harm make society lessof trust, the speaker points out that buzzer will not destroy civilization buthelp social relationship more closer after people realize that everything thatbuzzers told are truth.(这里是没有听太清楚吗？后面细节不够充分，建议重听) 原文大概是：
Finally, if you believe what you read, buzzing will destroy civilization. That’s stupid. If a product is bad, the company cannot recruit buzzers. So, what you get from a buzzer is not only sincere, it is likely to be about a good product. If you try the phone service I use, you will get love it. So, people who try buzzed products are going to have good experience, so they will end up being more trustful and open to people.

Finally, (换个词，否则以为和上面是并列的， in conclusion，to sum up之类的，我单词比较匮乏，随便举两个)thespeaker in the lecture disagrees with the points in the reading. He believesthat buzzers are not liars to spread mistrust; instead, buzzers can tell peoplethe truth of a product and even make social relationship closer.




整体结构和听力内容没有太大问题，并且很明确的表明了阅读文章和听力材料之间一一对应的关系，但是提个小小的建议，感觉你阅读部分讲的过于繁琐了，导致听力的观点不够突出，如果你打字速度没有问题的话，建议你分配一下阅读和听力的比例，如果打字不算特别的快的话，可以考虑先讲听力部分的观点，阅读略讲。三段可以不用保持一致，先阅读后听力，可以变换些形式。

Crystal的秋天

People take long time to make assure makesure or determine, make assure means

使保证 their interestfields, and so does the young generation. There are many college studentsfinding their real really interestedcareer after having lots of part-time jobs. Therefore, I agree that youngpeople should try several different kinds of jobs to find their interest,accumulate varied experiences and know people around the world that (that 指代什么，前面的整件事的话，用，加which可能更好)will helpthem decide lifelong careers.

First of all, having different kinds of job work experiencesis very important to not only employees who are seeking lifelong careers butalso benefitsemployers who interview (为什么用面试？) job seekers.For example, my first part-time job is working at a famous restaurant when Iwas a college student, and I learned that patience and politeness are the keysto success in service industry. Left After leaving thisjob, I found another part-time job of beverage shop, one of service industry. Itreated customers very politely and patiently.,The way I learnedbefore played animportant role in my new job, graduallystimulatedstimulating the sales, andeventually my boss was very proud of me andeventually bringing manybenefits to my boss. The former job experiencemade me success in the next job. (换成这样句与句之间的联系可能更紧密一些，仅个人直觉) Besides,these two job experiences make me realized that I am interestedhavetalent in marketing that (that 不可以指代整个句子，你肯定不是想表达marketing 是你没想到的东西，而是你适合做marketing这件事)I have everthought of. Therefore, I believe that varied job experiences can help youngpeople find their favorite field.

Second, to survive in a certain job requires not only young people’s job work experiencebut also their flexibility. I think that it’s good for young people to makedifferent friends when they try several jobs because knowing different peoplearound different job areas can help young generation learn how to deal withcolleague relationship of lifelong jobs. For example, when I was a freshman inpart-time jobs, I knew that labors of basic level are very hardoverburdened(hard 更偏向于努力吧)because theyhave toscarify (这个词有点大，pressure both on)physicsand mentality, and I also observed the different attitudes to bond therelationship between me and colleague and me and my boss.(这句话没看懂) Therefore, Ibelieve that accumulated relationship with people around different jobs willhelp young generation gets through from basic level to higher status in theirlifelong job environments.（不太明白你这段的论证跟灵活性有什么关系）

In conclusion, accumulated different job experience can help young people findtheir interested jobs that they are willing to scarify devote tofor lifetime. Also, it helps young people become (强调一下动作而不是状态) morefamiliar with the way to deal with people of different characteristics and jobstatus they will encounter in the future in theirlifelong jobs. As a result, I agree that young people should tryseveral different jobs before they decide which job or career 用了career后面就不要用do 了，搭配很奇怪they will do in thelong term.


明显可以看出来，这篇文章花的时间比较长，我个人建议
还是保证时间限制的基础之上提高作文水平，至少我发现对我而言这么可能更好一些。细节问题，注意一下定于从句的用法，词义的辨析，可以多背一点同义词转换，可能会给文章增色很多，你文章中重复用词的现象也很多。