新手一枚，多多指教

lihaolan

Perhaps no issue in this world is as difficult to people living in modern times as maintaining healthy condition which makes them well-prepared for the future challenges. Despite various responses people may have on the topic concerning the issue regarding whether it is easier to maintain health than in the past or not.（despite+名词，句子。你后面不能直接断句） I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that good health is really a luxurious thing for people surrounding with various uncertain unhealthy factors.

First and foremost, as we all know, in the past, the sky is blue, the river is transparent, the air is fresh, and the food is green（organic）. But now, all things have changed. Just like the scenery you see today, the sky is not blue anymore but full of gray, the river is polluted and exudes（主语是什么这个谓语动词。） an air of fume, the air is so bad that nearly all people in some countries know the technical terms like PM2.5 very clearly, and the food, which is directly related to our human being’s health, is often being（去掉） found all kinds of problems owing to the disorder use of food ingredients. In a word, the uncertain factors may harming our health today is much more than these（those） in the past.（分论点总结提炼下。）

What’s more, a notorious factor in modern society that influences our health a lot is the pressure. Although the advance of technology provides people with more convenience and pleasure, the side effects come to people’s lives, too. With the increase of competitive level, people, everyday, face all kinds of challenges, known or un-known, prepared or un-prepared,（断句） whether you do it or not, these tasks are always there. And what they mean? Obviously, pressure. If a man is under pressure for a long time, it is （there is）no doubt that his immune system is fragile, and then some problems concerning health will ensue, too.

On the other hand, the ways people live today do not conform to nature. And the recreational facilities, whether day or night, open their doors to people, many of whose（前面没有你指代的词） sleeping patterns are all upside-down. It is no wonder that the average healthy condition for modern people is continuously decreasing. On the contrary, our ancestors begin to work at dawn and stop at dusk, which is a nature-friendly life style to obey the outer environment.

After ruminating those three above-mentioned reasons, I was fully convinced that the improvement of health condition for people living in this day and age is very imperative. Anyway, I think it’s not an easy way to maintain healthy life style than in the past.
文章and 连接用的有点多。句型挺好的。语法注意下。