独立写作 求拍砖 求指导~

AnthonySummer

粉红色拼写错误(直接修改了)橘红色语法错误（谓语搭配单复数问题、固定搭配、空格多空了一格、逗号句号用错了）红色其他错误黄色精彩句子蓝色建议修改（个人建议，不对的地方多多指教啊）



20121021综合+独立求拍砖



Whenever we study or work, we may face controversial problems. In this case, we need assistance from our friends and discuss the problems with them. More often than not, when discussing and debating become possible, some problems can be solved unconsciously. Fortunately, modern technology provides us many options to solve the problems when we are asking help from others. We can use email and text message or we can use telephone and voice-messaging. From my point of view, although email can save time and energy, I still like to use telephone since using telephone makes the problem solved more efficiently and directly.







No one can deny the great convience the email bring. Never before we can communicate with others so conveniently. With email, we don't have to go to the post office to send letters, all we have to do is to click a bottom, in no minute, we can send 10 mails simultaneously.(你这个post office扯远了吧，问题中限制了四个沟通方式啊）If you have a camera, you can also attach the picture to the mail.（这句逻辑不通，有电脑才行啊) Thus, it is easy for us to discuss problems with otherS through emails. For example, when we face a complex problem in math, we can send email that accompanys with resolving process of the question to our classmates for help.(前句逻辑比较混乱，分两句写吧）In contrary, they can also write down their details of solving process of the question to us（什么叫to us，要不send it to us吧）. The detail and statistics are easier for us to understand the problems.







However, while many people like to use email to solve the problem,（前句啰嗦，建议删掉） as witnessed today, and email truly provides many details with characteristics and pictures, I prefer to use telephone sicne it is more directly and quickly. As a matter of fact, modern people live in a high-paced and intensive environment. And people have to face a large number of workloads everyday, and they don't even have spare time to relax themselves. In this situation, they might check thier email at most once a day. Obviously, If you want to get a fast reply from the person you ask assistance for, you may not get the replyimmediately. But if you take up the phone and call the person who can discuss the problems with you, you will get higher of chance to solve your problem right away.







Furthermore, with the advanced of the information and technology, people nowadays move to a cyber world and begin to work online, study online, even game online. （扯远了啊） People lost their traditional way of communication, from which people can get access to the communication skills. In light of this, using telephone is a more direct communication way and improves our communication skills. Also, the Internet makes the relationship between individuals becomes more loose and distant, using telephone to search help from friends can cement their relationship with friends. （这段偏题了）







In sum, even though that email is more precise in solving problems, yet it cannot solve the problem instantly. Actually, telephone allows us to talk（加to）to others directly, which can cement our friendship with our friends. （复数）As a result, I strongly hold my opinion that I like to use telephone when facing complex problems.



有太多的小错误，逻辑比较混乱~ 加油吧！

AnthonySummer

1023综合
粉红色拼写错误(直接修改了)橘红色语法错误（谓语搭配单复数问题、固定搭配、空格多空了一格、逗号句号用错了）红色其他错误黄色精彩句子蓝色建议修改（个人建议，不对的地方多多指教啊）



In the reading passage, it argues that fuel-cell engines should replace oil engines since the hydrogen fuel-cell engines produce is more renewable, enviornmental, and costless.(概括错了，你自己翻译成中文试试：更可更新，环境话的，不花钱的） However, the lecture contradicts what the reading passage holds.







Firstly, the reading passage mentions that fuel-cell engines utilize the renewable hydrogen resources while oil engines use renewable oil resources, （oil not renewable 你意思错了，读不通啊）so the replacement is visible. However, the lecture opposes that it is difficult to obtain and store hydrogen that presents in the water. Since preserving（不要the）hydrogen requires（元音）an extremely low temperature and also extracting the （不要the） hydrogen is a highly artificial process.







Secondly, the reading passage suggests that fuel-cell engines can protect the environment by producing water whereas the carbon dioxide emitted from oil has a bad effect on the environment. But the professor undermines this by saying that the car using the fuel-cell engines in the process of purification indeed don't pollute the environment. However, the factory that produces the hydrogen using burning oil and coal may pollute the environment. （感觉这段有点挠）







Finally, the reading passage believes that fuel-cell engines are more cheaper and efficient since they consume half energy than oil engines. However, the professor asserts that the process of production is costly. Extracting hydrogenrequires one mental component that coour （啥意思）chemical reactions, which is a complex process and expensive.

楼主你的漏洞太多了，很多拼写错误，语法错误也很多，原文第一段关键意思没听清，加油吧！

AnthonySummer

求作文！

AnthonySummer

Environmental protection and economic development are both of significance for a country. When it comes to whether governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development, different people will hold different opinions based on their different backgrounds. From my point of view, governments (小写） should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development



Good environment is of prerequisite of human being as well as plants and animals on our planet. To begin with, atmosphere on earth,（这句感觉写的有些散） the environment of our basic living conditions, provides fresh air for human to breath. But air is not polluted （这句没看懂）by modern transportation that burn fossil fuels, which make our air less healthy to breathe. The air pollution also causes the acid rain, which destroys vegetation and building in the ground. To convert this situation, the government has to plant a lot of trees in the surroundings （用surrounding形容词）areas of the city, which needs a large expenditure as well as long （a long） time to change the quality of our atmosphere.Furthermore, the water that one of the most important resource we human beings depends on （感觉这句介词表达方式有问题） is also polluted due to （due to 这么用显得啰嗦） human activity. Many industrial factories choose to dump waste materials to rivers and streams because the water seems to disappear downstream. When the waste is dumped into downstream （这个是adv 用downstream area）, the water in the downstream （adv）becomes undrinkable and unavailable for both human and animals. Thus, government should take a series of action: act （publish）a law, remove the waste and pure the water.Only in these way can （没看懂） government can effectively deal with the water pollution.



Admittedly, the economic development boosts our living conditions and makes us a better life. We have a great leap in technology, which benefit greatly benefit （没看懂）both our life and work. Our children have the excellent education and health care systems. We have all kinds of entertainment activities to relax ourselves in spare time. All of these contribute to the economic development of a nation. However, compared with environment that we human beings rely on, the progress of economic plays a less important role in human development. Without the good environment, the toxic air may destroy human beings even though we have the most advanced economic development. Therefore, it is no deniable that government should devote all it efforts to protect the environment no matter how it cost.



In sum, human activity poses a threat to our environment. It is necessary to take measures to save our environment. Although the economic development facilitates the human's living condition, it plays a small part compared with the environment problem. So governments should focus its budgets more on environmental protection than on economic development.



构思不错，但是小问题比较多，有些用词不准确，有很多语法和逻辑错误导致我没看懂~ 加油吧！

AnthonySummer

The reading passage explores three measures to prevent the spread of cane toad in Australia. However, the professor's lecture holds a different opinion that the measures are of not （这个用法值得商榷）effectiveness.(





To begin with, the reading passage suggests that the first measure is to build national fence. In the contrary, the lecture asserts that it is not effective to build a fence since young cane toad and eggs of cane toward the usualhabitat in rivers and streams. It is the water streams that carry the cane toward from one area to other areas through the fence. （最后一句没有正确还原文章意思）






Secondly, the reading passage mentions that cane toad can be captured by volunteers. However, the lecture opposes that the volunteer may not only seize the cane toward but also may cause a threat to native frogs.




Finally, the lecture opposes the reading passage by saying that disease-causing will have a bad effect on American cane toad, the original place to cane toward. The reason is that the cane tord that （两个that看不懂）is infected by the virus （要特指） may be transformed from Australia to American in order to do some research.（原文不是这样说的啊，原文没这样说） Thus, the Australian cane toad bring the virus to American cane toward,（没看懂） which will destroy the whole economy. While the lecture believes that a disease-causing virus can control the population of cane toad.
稍许有些细节没把握好，基本都没听错，加油吧！

AnthonySummer

The reading passage explores the focus that scientist of archaeology confront difficulties and limitations in Britain in twentieth century. The lecture, however, contradicts what the reading passage holds.







First of all, the reading passage points out that many artifacts were (复数谓语）destroyed due to construction project. But the professor undermines that the valuable artifacts will be preservedsince the scientist would identify the value of the artifact before construction project. If the scientist had interest in the artifact, the government and the scientists will make a plan to protect the site.







Furthermore, the reading passage contends that archeology scientists do not gain sufficient financial support to do （to do表达方式值得商榷）scientific research. In the contrary, the professor argues that it is structure companies not government that affords the whole expenditure for scientists to do archeology research. （句号问题）







Finally, the professor opposes the reading passage by saying that a large number of scientists were hired to examine the value of the artifacts or do research about the artifacts and then they will report anarticle about the artifacts. （原文貌似不是这样讲的吧，漏了一些细节）While the reading passage believes that archaeology scientists have a difficult career in Britain in twentieth century.



整体结构很不错，表述精炼，感觉你进步好大啊！

AnthonySummer

TPO17The reading passage explores a focus on the concern about the reduction of birds' population. The professor in the lecture, however, thinks the evidence in the reading passage is not convincing.






Firstly, the reading passage asserts that an increasing number of population and settlements (你没讲清楚是人类的settlement） contribute to the reduction of birds' population. But the professor contradicts this by saying that the government has already provided better and bigger habits for birds, which leads ( lead )to more birds living in the city.






Secondly, the professor continues saying that agriculture will not reduce the habitats of the birds since there is（感觉有语病） no enough land for agriculture in USA. Thus, a new species （我记得是讲物种多样化） of high- productive crop is invented to meet the requirements of local people. While the reading passage contends that the growth of agriculture accompanied with the bigger size population （什么population?) also influence the decreasing number of birds.






Finally, the reading passage believes that the use of chemical pesticide will harm the bird. However, the professor opposes this based on two reasons. For one thing, one kind of less-toxic pesticide is under developed, which will not do damage to birds in the future. For another thing, one kind of pest-resistant crop is invented and the new crop is not detrimental to birds as well. (最后一句感觉还是有语病，没表达清楚~）

AnthonySummer

11.8 People are more easier to become educated than in the past

Education plays an essential role in one's life. When it comes to the issue whether modern people are more easier to be educated than ancient people, different people will hold different views due to their different backgrounds. Some people claim that modern students are more difficult to become educated than in the past since they are confronted of more entertainment that distract their focus on study, (我感覺是寫受教育的機會吧，而不是改造一個人）while others contend that modern society provides a better study environment for modern students than in the past. From my point of view, I agree with the author's assertion in general. However, the author explores the assertion to an irreversible extreme while ingrowing other factors which also influence the issue.



On the one hand, I have to point out that previous students （是以前的student吧）are easier to be educated since there are more entertainments in modern society that may distract the students' focus on the study than in the past. Thereis（用are後面+theaters）movie theaterfor students to go to watch the latest movies. There are parks for students to enjoy the beautiful scenery. There are a variety of restaurants for students to taste delicious food. However, if you lived in the past, there is no entertainment to relax, what you can only do is to study. Obviously, previous students spend more time on the study（或者studying）and are more easier to be educated.



On the other hand, a more rational and considerable judgement is needed to consider (感覺缺少連詞） different aspects of the issue as adequately as possible. Firstly, what is worth noticing is that modern students have more knowledge accumulation （have accumulated much more knowledge，你這個knowledge accumulation貌似有些chinglish）than students in the past and therefore reduce the burdens of teachers, making easier education possible （表達chinglish）. The reason is that nowadays the competence to enter excellent schools is fierce. Students suffer from a lot of stress and pressure from parents and society. From a very young age, they have to work hard for limited space in the prestigious schools in order to earn them a promising future. In this situation, they have to face more assignments and knowledge than students with the same age in the past. As a result, when imparted the same knowledge, they will accept them more quickly and have a deeper understanding of the knowledge. (最後一段不知是何意思）



Furthermore, what strikes me most is that students living in the contemporary age have a higher chance to be educated because with the steady development of technology, our economic as well as education system have been greatly improved. In the past, families were often so poor that they did not （cannot） afford all of their children to go to schools. The schools were of low quality（chinglish）. While in this day and age there are better resources and facilities available for modern students than previous times. A large number of schoolshave their own library and sports gym which provide a well environment for students to both study and exercise. In library, students can easily access to a massive information and books they need in order to study or do further research. The development of technology also benefits students' study since the Internet also provide （provided）abundant information for students to look for materials. Therefore, previous students are harder to become education due to limited conditions.



In sum, by taking into account all these factors discussed above, we may sagely arrive at the consideration that modern technology make students more easily access to adequate study materials whereas previous environment make students more exposure to concentration analysis.